Does anyone else feel their whole life has been awkward socially?

[way]

For no unknown reason? Well, that's the way it has been with me. I've just never been a good people person, I've always been awkward, clumsy and shy. And then many times, out of nervousness and clumsiness, I would say the wrong thing, making my situation worse.

At school, this was the way. I hardly had any friends, I was always the outcast. All my life I was at church and even then, the same thing. A couple of people particularly in church hurt me, and one girl in particular, who I never got on with and who was rude, sulky and distant from me, despite all my best efforts.

At work, we have a new employee that from day one doesn't interact with me, and it hurts deeply. This person talks friendly to everyone except me, and yet I have gone out of my way to help, even giving my personal telephone number and offering to call me any time, even in the middle of the night, if she is stuck (on call work-person works on their own during call). And yet nothing but cold distance.

And yes, my first post even here (which I fully acknowledge to someone who doesn't understand may come across as "weird"-or maybe it's my own stupid, clumsy, worthless, ******* fault for putting the word "weird" in the question. I was just trying to anticipate others), only one person replied. That's okay, nothing against anyone here, story of my life. I really regret that first post now, I'll never embaress myself like that again.

But I will say that I did have a reprieve in uni. That was the only time in my life this veil of loneliness lifted, and I genuinely had many meaningful contacts and a few close friends. But alas, they're all far away now.

Anyhoo, if you like cats, old school rock (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Rainbow, Uriah Heep, Whitesnake etc) and V8 cars, you have something in common with me.

And yeah, I saw Black Sabbath live recently-alone. Go figure.

 

[keeper]

Hi way,

I can relate to some of the things you wrote.

Anyway, reading about the person which doesn't interact with you, I want to tell you something I've noticed lately and that at the beginning I found weird.
There's a guy in my hometown which I know for a couple years, who knows A LOT of girls (good-looking girls which while talking to him never cast a look upon me or the other people he knows). He's very often impolite and rude to the people he knows but they are always around him. Moreover, he doesn't pay much attention to the girls he knows. I don't hang out much with him, but other folks I know told me they've also noticed what I've written here.
Why can it be so? Any suggestion?

 

[teach]

Hi Way,

Often, a woman may choose to be abrasive because she has decided that a guy must be interested in her rather than just wanting to say hi. I find myself bristling up when I go to where my sister works (bar/club), and I know there's no reason for it, just a habit. I have to remind myself to chill. Part of that, I think, came from my college days when I really did have to be harsh to the guys, especially when they were doing the drunk come-on.

I'd suggest, with her, just tell her, "Hi, I'm glad you here, but I'm feeling a bit blocked by you, and I'm not sure why. I do want you to know that my offering to help was not a come on (even if it happened to have been!), but just trying to help you out." This puts her in the awkward position of realizing her actions had been noticed, and not appreciated. Either she'll be nicer, possibly even apologize, or continue to snub, and if that's the case, she's just a snobby pill and not worthy of your time anyway.

Keeper,
How old is this guy you're talking about? I used to see girls going for that type in my younger to mid twenties, and they usually end up divorced from the woman that allowed him to act that way, because she finally grows up and realizes, usually in her 30's, how mean he actually is (usually because her other married girl-friends point it out, discretely). Or, he marries a woman just as mean as he is and they live happily ever after, that couple you sometimes see who are constantly putting eachother down, but seem to enjoy it and thrive from it. Very strange, but whatever floats their boat.

 

[keeper]

Hi teach,

This guy is 31. The weird thing is he actually hasn't got a gf: he even seems to be bothered by the people he knows.

 

[david90]

For no unknown reason? Well, that's the way it has been with me. I've just never been a good people person, I've always been awkward, clumsy and shy. And then many times, out of nervousness and clumsiness, I would say the wrong thing, making my situation worse.

At school, this was the way. I hardly had any friends, I was always the outcast. All my life I was at church and even then, the same thing. A couple of people particularly in church hurt me, and one girl in particular, who I never got on with and who was rude, sulky and distant from me, despite all my best efforts.

At work, we have a new employee that from day one doesn't interact with me, and it hurts deeply. This person talks friendly to everyone except me, and yet I have gone out of my way to help, even giving my personal telephone number and offering to call me any time, even in the middle of the night, if she is stuck (on call work-person works on their own during call). And yet nothing but cold distance.

And yes, my first post even here (which I fully acknowledge to someone who doesn't understand may come across as "weird"-or maybe it's my own stupid, clumsy, worthless, ******* fault for putting the word "weird" in the question. I was just trying to anticipate others), only one person replied. That's okay, nothing against anyone here, story of my life. I really regret that first post now, I'll never embaress myself like that again.

But I will say that I did have a reprieve in uni. That was the only time in my life this veil of loneliness lifted, and I genuinely had many meaningful contacts and a few close friends. But alas, they're all far away now.

Anyhoo, if you like cats, old school rock (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Rainbow, Uriah Heep, Whitesnake etc) and V8 cars, you have something in common with me.

And yeah, I saw Black Sabbath live recently-alone. Go figure.

About your work situation, I understand. In fact something like this happened to me. I guess you can't depend on somebody else for your happiness.