Does anyone else think your loneliness wastes and/or has wasted your life?

[AmytheTemperamental]

And there's an expiration date on blame and excuses just like there is on how long we get to live.

This +1

 

[ardour]

Hey I am sorry if you feel that I intruded upon your thread here. But what fight and attitude are you referring to?
Wasn't fighting.

Well, I guess "arguing" would have been more appropriate.  You did say that women haven't called the cops on you, which is an obvious indication about your thread in which you ask if complimenting a woman's legs is a good approach, which, by the way, IT'S NOT, those types of comments makes women think that all you are after is their body.  If you want to make first impressions and get women interested in you, I suggest you search tips on how to flirt, it doesn't matter how you look, I've read that that always works.
By the way, I read your thread and this will sound strange to you, but the rest of the ladies were actually trying to protect you, many women are a bit loony nowadays due to the overly abundant, political correctness.  If you're unlucky enough to meet someone that's a feminist, or more appropriately, a "feminazi," she'll do more to you than just calling the cops on you.  My advice is this: after you're properly groomed and approach someone with lovely legs, talk to her, just like building up a normal friendship, make her feel comfortable while being funny and don't be afraid to break the touch barrier.  Before you know it, those legs will be yours!  =)  You might stumble and face a few rejections, but women don't like quitters!
It'll be up to you if you want to take my advice seriously though, as my contact with women has been abysmal, purely by choice; I lack almost every quality that requires me to be a long-term boyfriend.

No, no. You misunderstood. I was being facetious. Wasn't serious. No one called the cops. 

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate the advice here and assume most are out for my best interest.  As far as the forward comments to women I rarely do it. Have done it. It's always a risk. I usually have good judgement with who I say anything with usually get an idea how they might react. Calling the cops for a comment? Hmmm. I am too concerned they will freak.  But...it's something to keep in mind I guess

It’s not uncommon now for women so inclined to take a photo of the man they believe to be engaged in harassment, then post it on facebook with a hate-filled dissertation length rant. (Most of the time the guy is obviously homeless, has mental issues, is drunk or high.)

 

[Tealeaf]

I've felt that way on and off, but I think it's in part relative. Depression stole a lot from me (zoned out during my grandfather's funeral, my own graduation, missed most of my niece and nephew's lives), but solitude itself can go either way.

If someone isn't out traveling and having ***, they may be inside learning a musical instrument, writing a story, or just listening to the stories of other people. I used to worry a lot about how I was doing so many things without company, and sometimes still do, but the truth is that even when there were years-long periods where I had no offline friends, looking back now I still made some personal strides and had fun with people online, and enjoyed seeing my family. I don't remember it nearly as negatively as I felt it.

 

[sbm1990]

Honestly dude, I'm on a very similar parallel that you're on. I'm 27 years old, and I spend the majority of my time either working, or upstairs in my room. Yeah, I'll hangout with my few close friends every so often, but I mostly keep to myself. I know I'm not interesting enough of a person for most people to give a damn about me, so I don't bother trying to impress them. The highlight of my life is my once a year trip to Anthrocon where I have the time of my life, but other than that, my life is boring.

 

[Paraiyar]

I think you have had things a bit harder than me but I still know EXACTLY how you feel. I guess that probably doesn't help much but I feel like my shyness has robbed me of so much potential happiness.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I enjoyed my friendships with people as I was child and I was very social. As I was growing up, I was constantly questioning things and wondering what could happen and what possibilities were in store for me. Spent a lot of time inside of my head and not seeing what was in front of me. I've learned a lot through the hardships I've had that happened in my life. You'll learn a lot as you go through life and meet different kinds of people as you get older. 

Thinking back I realized I had many different kinds of friends and went through different phases. I love the people that I've met and I learned a thing or two from the people who I have met. I'm thankful for the people I met. There's many things that I've done and went to different places. Eventually I put my guard down and tried to see what was out there, rather than constantly questioning things and worrying over things I had absolutely no control over. There's still plenty that I still have to do and places I'd love to go visit. Money is the problem though. So I wrote down things down that I'd like to do, places I'd love to visit and journaled a lot. Now I'm saving up money.

I still feel lonely at times and I no longer beat myself about it anymore. I'm only human and I know everyone feels lonely from time to time. We're only human and everyone thinks and feels differently. There's still plenty of time for you to do the things you want to do. Try writing down things that you think will help you out or go out spontaneously and see what's out there. Sometimes people are afraid to step out of their comfort zone because they fear of what "could happen" or overthink it too much. The worst that could happen is a certain people won't get along with you or get rejected in some way. Even though those things might happen, atleast you tried and than you can grow and learn. You'll get there eventually. Just have faith in yourself and see what's out there. If you don't, you'll be constantly be wondering what could have happened.

 

[Serephina]

I think my social anxiety wasted my life and it was that which made me lonely. I went for CBT and although it wasn't a miracle cure and I still have social anxiety I set my set myself small targets to achieve like joining meet up which has got me out of my shell a bit because I had to go out of my comfort zone to meet people. I've got a long way to go but at least i'm no longer thinking people hate me and don't want to know me.

 

[ColdLight]

Yeah pretty much. I look back at my early 20's now I can't really say that I accomplished much of anything. Just years and years of secluding myself away in my room, playing video games and watching anime and ****. I can only consul myself now by saying that I can't go back in time and change all of that, I can only look foward and try to make my life better in the future.

 

[dd11]

Other than DH and my kids, there really isnt anyone who would care if i was dead. At some point either DH or I will be completely alone
. The kids are growing up and moving on to their lives.

 

[AnonymousMe]

Yeah pretty much. I look back at my early 20's now I can't really say that I accomplished much of anything. Just years and years of secluding myself away in my room, playing video games and watching anime and ****. I can only consul myself now by saying that I can't go back in time and change all of that, I can only look foward and try to make my life better in the future.

I wish I could give you a hug.

 

[ColdLight]

Yeah pretty much. I look back at my early 20's now I can't really say that I accomplished much of anything. Just years and years of secluding myself away in my room, playing video games and watching anime and ****. I can only consul myself now by saying that I can't go back in time and change all of that, I can only look foward and try to make my life better in the future.

I wish I could give you a hug.

Aw thanks man, I wish you the best too.

 

[Meaw]

Yes.
I blame my weight partially on that. It's much easier to fix half a meal, not even speaking of the meaninglessness and the reminding of how alone one is. I have always been better at eating in the company of someone.
There are many activities that are much more difficult to do without a group, e.g. go to a swimming house for fun instead of workout, go to "Boda Borg" there are rooms one shall try to solve tasks in, and it requires 3-4 people to complete them), pnp rp games, larps...
I don't have anyone to protect and spoil, anyones to joke with, laugh with, be active and live life with.
Life as of now seems paused, it is something I just wait through.
Still, I try to do what I like on my own and I try to be happy and spread happiness. There's no happiness without sadness, and maybe this all will spit me out stronger on the other side

 

[Mr. Pennington]

That'd be a hard "yes" for me. It's probably the biggest thing I'm grappling with right now. I feel like my life has been an utter, miserable waste. All of the opportunities, relationships, and potential I had were destroyed by depression, anxiety, and addiction. I luckily got that last one under control, but after all these years, nothing I ever do seems to cage the other two. (In fact, the addiction was a direct result of the anxiety/depression.) It really is becoming difficult to care about any sort of future or to find reasons to keep going.

 

[weste]

Yes totally. I'm wasting now in my twenties and I'm not doing anything about it.

 

[dirta]

I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.
And yes I regret being like this for years. All the opportunities of happiness have passed me by. I know I sound old but I'm not.
I feel like a kid who has paddled on the raft too far off coast onto the current with no idea how to get back. I don't know how to get interested in people and get them interested in me?

 

[AnonymousMe]

I blame my weight partially on that.
There are many activities that are much more difficult to do without a group,
I don't have anyone to protect and spoil, anyones to joke with, laugh with, be active and live life with.
Life as of now seems paused, it is something I just wait through.

Yeah, I know how you feel, it's the same with me sometimes, but I think I'm worse off than you.  I can't do things alone because it makes me feel incompetent in front of strangers, due to me unavoidably comparing myself to everyone and I can't do things with friends/acquaintances because it makes me feel embarrassed; I'm always trying to leave no bad impressions.  I do wish I had a special friend or someone by my side though, it would makes my life easier and worth it, but everyone's got their own problems already.

I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.

Hmm, I get, you, I'm not a nostalgic person, in fact, I'm very glad the past is just the past now, but every once in a while, I do miss times when I was more social with my family and in school.  Everyone would play (video) games, go to places, enjoy reunions, etc., now everyone has jobs, are married and are busy... I just find it very unfair that everyone I've met is enjoying life, doing things they've dreamed of doing with someone on their sides, except me.  I am hopeful I meet someone though, even if it's a bad relationship, I still think it's better than being single.

 

[Sophie99]

YES!!!  I've tried to make my peace with being alone, but it sucks.  Especially now that I'm in my fifties and my health is starting to fail.  I've heard, and read, again and again that loneliness is bad for our health, and I believe that is true.

When things are going well, I don't mind the solitude too much.  But when things are bad – when I'm sick, or having a really bad day, or like now when I'm dealing with a very painful rejection – the pain of not being able to talk to anybody is suffocating.  Nobody has my back.  Nobody is interested in me, nobody is interested in anything I think or feel or say.  If I'm in trouble, there's nobody to help me unless I pay them.  And I can't afford to pay people to help me unless it's absolutely critical.  I feel like a leper.  I feel like a freak.  And I can't understand what I did wrong to make everybody not like me.  Have I just been so unbelievably unlucky in meeting the wrong people, again and again?  I try so hard to be a good friend, to be considerate and emphatic and think about how the other person is feeling.  Nobody ever wants to do that for me.

I hate this.  I hate this so much.  I only have so many good years left, and I'm completely wasting them, sitting in my crummy house by myself, dreaming that maybe things will be matter in a year or two or three, or dreaming of the past when I still had at least a few people who cared about me.

 

[wallflower79]

I think that you still have a bright future ahead of you if you are willing to do what it takes to live life to the fullest. I have had health problems which caused subsequent medical debt that has kept me from being able to travel, so I missed out on that, although I am currently working that down so that I can have the opportunity to travel abroad. I think taking the opportunity to live life to the fullest is a good idea, which is why I try not to turn down opportunities to go out and do things when people let me know about them, and try to meet new people when I go to social functions. I sometimes wish I had/would do more, but living in the past is the opposite of living life to the fullest. I wouldn't say that having a threesome is necessarily the best way to live life to the fullest, as I had one and while it was fun at the time, I eventually spent years later regretting my past reckless sexual encounters and that incident especially. Even if you are going out and doing crazy things in your twenties, you might still end up regretting them later for other reasons, especially if you are insecure or think skinned. While your thirties tend to be a different stage of your life, that's because you're at a different place in your career and may be settling down to get married. If those things aren't true for you, then as long as you are still taking care of your appearance and staying in shape, I think you still can do some of the same things. But living life to the fullest has different meanings to different people, and I can say that it has definitely changed since I was in my early twenties.

 

[AnonymousMe]

I wouldn't say that having a threesome is necessarily the best way to live life to the fullest, as I had one and while it was fun at the time, I eventually spent years later regretting my past reckless sexual encounters and that incident especially. Even if you are going out and doing crazy things in your twenties, you might still end up regretting them later for other reasons, especially if you are insecure or think skinned.

This isn't about if I'll end up regretting experiences or not, it's just about experiencing them, even if they end up among the worst ones I've ever had, I, nevertheless, would have experienced them and I wouldn't stay wondering how it feels to be part of such activities.  Not to mention, we're all different, so what doesn't work for someone might work for me and vice versa.  For example, I went to a Megadeth concert last year and while it was awesome, I didn't enjoy it at all, I felt out of place among the crowd and I wasn't even a fan of the band, I just stood there, watching everyone have fun around me, but I still went and it was phenomenal.  At least I'm keeping my expectations extremely low, it's kind of sad that the most common life experiences have become milestones to me, but if I get to feel a few of them just once, I'll be satisfied, especially if it's one of those that I think I'll never get to feel (the threesome is one of them =P)

 

[tsar]

I thought I have but honestly I don't think I have. I've learnt a lot and experienced more than most of my family members.