Does anyone here feel like a loser?

[Punisher]

I am the biggest loser that ever existed…

I'm back now, so you can have second biggest loser

 

[ladyforsaken]

And finding a relationship is something I long for so that does give me the most heartache. I did make the choice to stop with it all but who can turn of feelings and emotions? I have so much of them I can not stop with them. And so many are negative.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding a relationship. It's something that's really unpredictable. Sometimes you work so hard just to feel perfect for others but you still can't find someone, and other times you don't really give a ****, and someone might come along. Crazy how life works sometimes. You're right, we can't turn off our feelings and emotions, I can totally understand that. But you know, I always feel that people shouldn't give up on the hopes of finding someone because life is so unpredictable and it's also full of opportunities if you go out there and just live life. You're bound to meet people, make new friends, make new contacts and along the way you might just find someone.

I know it's hard though to feel positively about things when nothing positive has happened. Just don't lose that bit of hope you might have left, as tiny as it might be. I do wish you good luck in finding her.

 

[PieBeNice]

I am the biggest loser that ever existed…

I'm back now, so you can have second biggest loser

This is a very good point.

 

[johnny196775]

i mostly feel like a loser when i am awake.

 

[WonderRain]

Thanks Ladyforsaken,

You are right in what you write. Its just that when looking at a relationship I have put it on hold a little. For as much as you can put it on hold. I am busy with buying a house and that takes a lot of energy of me and I am creating distance between me and others. I stay at home a lot and don't want to be social. Well I want too but somehow I am holding myself back. So I tend to stay alone a lot lately.

If that makes sense?

 

[Darrell_Licht]

I don't think about it on the most part. I might feel sorry for myself for not having any romance in my life or a social network.
I dealt with doubt since I was a kid. Things turned around in my mid/late 20's, at that point I found myself administering much of the doubting and rejection than anybody else.

Kind of funny how that works, you get so used to negative feedback that any positive gestures seem very suspicious. Then people dislike you because you don't respond the right way.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks Ladyforsaken,

You are right in what you write. Its just that when looking at a relationship I have put it on hold a little. For as much as you can put it on hold. I am busy with buying a house and that takes a lot of energy of me and I am creating distance between me and others. I stay at home a lot and don't want to be social. Well I want too but somehow I am holding myself back. So I tend to stay alone a lot lately.

If that makes sense?

That makes perfect sense and I know how that feels too. Hopefully something can get you out of that funk and get you out there. Or you can start socialising with people here first.. to get things started.

 

[Lishniy Chelovek]

Judged by societies standards I am a total loser. **** society, I created my own standards, and failed to live up to them. At least I'm a failure on my own terms. I'm going to go over there and cry.

 

[hiki]

the more i look at the world and the sea of people, the more i feel less of a loser

 

[johnny196775]

I have become a winner.

 

[Tinderleaf]

Definitely feel like a loser in more ways than one. Unorganized and unmotivated, no real relationships or goal aspirations, I guess you could say that I'm a shrewd operator and that I'm just drifting through life.

 

[ABrokenMan]

I have finally stopped fighting myself and realize that i am, have been, and until I check out of life soon, a loser.

 

[stork_error]

I don't feel like a "looser", I feel like I failed, at life. But I think id only be a looser if the reasons were my own fault and if i knew it and didn't change it. Sometimes circumstances screw you, like health issues for example, or sometimes you can just never figure out why life screwed you in order to change it.
For me its a bit of both. Circumstances beyond my control and having no role models to show me how to get what i want.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Trying not to. The feeling creeps up on me sometimes but I remind myself how far I've come and what I've got going for me...I still feel like I haven't done as much as I could/should have or would like to, but I've survived this long, stayed out of accidents and trouble, finished college. I shed some things that were slowing me down in life. I look in the mirror, and yes, sometimes I dare to really think I'm good-looking and any girl would be lucky to have me. I was considered smart growing up, maybe I haven't been using that as much as I should have but that's something I can revive. I also try to tell myself that while I haven't had much luck with jobs, it's not hopeless - finishing school still counts for something and someday I'm going to make real money. And I think I can still learn new things and have all the adventures and experiences I want. Maybe to focus I'll make a list.

The feeling of being a loser creeps up on me but I'm trying to stay focused on solutions.

 

[Peaches]

some days that feeling comes up like a giant puma and just jump over me and keeps me under its weight - like, I am so hopelessly - ugly, bad at everything, anything I try just ends badly, unfit to be loved, boring, even the things that shouldn't be my fault are faults.
Then at some point the puma rises and leaves me alone, and I am again free to be light and silly and totally lovable, at least to the taste of some alien stranger.

 

[Nicolelt]

No

 

[Emiline]

Have you ever dealt with so much rejection, either from people, jobs, applying for jobs, relationships, family, friends, whatever, that after a while you start to convince yourself that you are just invisible and not wanted? That there must be something wrong with you? That in fact you may be cursed, because no matter how hard you try, no matter how much extra mile you go, that nobody gives a ****?

I'm tired of this cold world. I'm tired of people's apathy. I'm tired of ****** circumstances.

I used to believe so much in myself. I used to be convinced I could manifest my destiny and draw to myself the things I wanted and needed in life. The power of intention. The law of attraction. Not anymore. I just feel burned out. My entire faith has been shattered. It's hard to believe in a world where you keep trying, you keep sending out hope, but nothing ever comes back to you. It's hard to believe in a God/universe that never answers your prayers...

Any thoughts?

---

I'm stunned, reading what you said. You sound exactly like me! The way I describe all the horror, I mean. I found this site cos I've just been through a couple of horrible days, a nasty shock, and I've started to feel like maybe I AM a loser. The world is so difficult, and cold, it's like you say, it's hard to have faith in anything, even a God. I personally am on the verge of giving up. I didn't know if anyone else was this disillusioned and angry. There's nothing to say, is there?

 

[ABrokenMan]

I concur. I am 51 and ThisSideOfTheRainbow expressed my own life situation to this point. Lost. lonely and unwanted would be an understatement, brought on by years of blind hope and expending energy thwarting rejection. It took a long time, but I'm finally weakened to the point to accepting the thoughts so clearly expressed in that OP.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Yet another page of this uninspiring thread I get to protest about- unfortunately it's existence will continue due to peoples never-ending desire to piss and moan rather than seek effective change.

Sooo tempting to enlist some help and start bickering, seems to work for threads of a positive nature.

 

[Triple Bogey]

no