Doubt The Rabbit
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- Oct 11, 2010
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November 20, 2010
A Man's Breakfast
So today I went across the street to buy some cereal. Of course, I went to the bag cereal aisle--you know, the type of "knock-off brand" you buy when you're either too broke or too cheap to get a box of Cap'n Crunch. I'm a little bit of both. So I decide to buy some childhood memory cereal. I come across a bag of something called Marshmallow MATEYS, a knock-off of--you guessed it--Lucky Charms. It didn't register to me yet that "Mateys" was meant to denote pirates. So I pick up a few other bags of knock-off cereal as well as a box of corn chex for my overly health conscious mother, and head back across the street to my lovely home where a couple of strange men (aren't we all?) are building my sister's hospital bed. FINALLY!
I head upstairs, ignoring my younger brother's attempt at being obnoxious in front of company for the umpteenth time. Isn't there a medical name for that? I just call it *********.
After putting away the cereal and cleaning my sister's feeding pump, I decide it's time to eat breakfast...or brunch, considering it's eleven twenty in the morning. I pour a box of this nasty marshmallow cereal, knowing full well that I hate it, but wanting to experience a little nostalgia. Then it hits me: Marshmallow MATEYS! Pirates! I look at the cereal pieces, marveling at the well-crafted anchors and realistic chests of booty (that's right, I said it). I take a bite. Gross. But maybe if Lucky Charms had this kind of visual appeal, I wouldn't have hated that so much. But when you're a kid, who cares--you'll get your sugar fix wherever you can take it. It wasn't until I was five or six spoonfuls into the cereal that I realized a blue and yellow marshmallow that looked kind of like something that kids shouldn't learn too much about until sixth-grade health class. I took the stale marshmallow out and studied it. Of course--a scimitar! As if pirates aren't cool enough, you get a weapon with it, representing the violence and thievery that pretty much spells out the life of a pirate. This is truly a man's breakfast.
Thanksgiving
A hot topic floating around the chat every once in a while is what everyone's doing for thanksgiving. For me, personally, thanksgiving isn't something that should be celebrated if you look at what REALLY happened between the indians and pilgrims. That's right, Native American blood flows through these veins and they don't teach you the important stuff in Kindergarten. I remember back then, it was all fun and games and all that mattered was eating Kimberly's mother's delicious cornbread stuffing while wearing an indian princess' headdress. Well, as we all know, it still is pretty much all about the food. Who even gives thanks nowadays? Why not just call it Giving Food To Your Greedy Family Day? Yeah, I'm part of the greedy family and I don't regret it one bit.
Anyway, I haven't celebrated thanksgiving in over a decade. But this year, my mother encourages me to celebrate thanksgiving at my auntie's crazy pad. Yeah, like I'm going to go greet my cousin with her three pedophile boyfriends (yeah, that's right, she's underaged), my drunk uncle, and my cousin's lazy assed butch of a maid. If I had to do anything over there, it would consist of walling up in my younger cousin's room and watch ADHD make him bounce off the walls like a crazyball. Cute little guy, he is. I guess it would also be nice to visit my baby cousin, but both activities would only last over the course of an hour, which would only take up at least a sixth of my time. Anyway, I don't want to feel like a hypocrite, going over to visit family when there are only a few members of the house that I like. I don't even visit them often anyway. Even if I visited them every day, I don't think I'd want to go over for thanksgiving anyway.
I don't think it's a christian holiday (right?) but I feel out of place being an Atheist and sitting at the table while they perform their Christian prayer. Even worse is trying to explain why I don't join in. Let's just say I am not the type of person who will be visiting Rome any time soon. I wonder if I should just go somewhere on Thanksgiving night. Maybe treat myself to a dinner out. Go to a restaurant. Maybe see a movie.
Is there anything good out, I wonder?
A Man's Breakfast
So today I went across the street to buy some cereal. Of course, I went to the bag cereal aisle--you know, the type of "knock-off brand" you buy when you're either too broke or too cheap to get a box of Cap'n Crunch. I'm a little bit of both. So I decide to buy some childhood memory cereal. I come across a bag of something called Marshmallow MATEYS, a knock-off of--you guessed it--Lucky Charms. It didn't register to me yet that "Mateys" was meant to denote pirates. So I pick up a few other bags of knock-off cereal as well as a box of corn chex for my overly health conscious mother, and head back across the street to my lovely home where a couple of strange men (aren't we all?) are building my sister's hospital bed. FINALLY!
I head upstairs, ignoring my younger brother's attempt at being obnoxious in front of company for the umpteenth time. Isn't there a medical name for that? I just call it *********.
After putting away the cereal and cleaning my sister's feeding pump, I decide it's time to eat breakfast...or brunch, considering it's eleven twenty in the morning. I pour a box of this nasty marshmallow cereal, knowing full well that I hate it, but wanting to experience a little nostalgia. Then it hits me: Marshmallow MATEYS! Pirates! I look at the cereal pieces, marveling at the well-crafted anchors and realistic chests of booty (that's right, I said it). I take a bite. Gross. But maybe if Lucky Charms had this kind of visual appeal, I wouldn't have hated that so much. But when you're a kid, who cares--you'll get your sugar fix wherever you can take it. It wasn't until I was five or six spoonfuls into the cereal that I realized a blue and yellow marshmallow that looked kind of like something that kids shouldn't learn too much about until sixth-grade health class. I took the stale marshmallow out and studied it. Of course--a scimitar! As if pirates aren't cool enough, you get a weapon with it, representing the violence and thievery that pretty much spells out the life of a pirate. This is truly a man's breakfast.
Thanksgiving
A hot topic floating around the chat every once in a while is what everyone's doing for thanksgiving. For me, personally, thanksgiving isn't something that should be celebrated if you look at what REALLY happened between the indians and pilgrims. That's right, Native American blood flows through these veins and they don't teach you the important stuff in Kindergarten. I remember back then, it was all fun and games and all that mattered was eating Kimberly's mother's delicious cornbread stuffing while wearing an indian princess' headdress. Well, as we all know, it still is pretty much all about the food. Who even gives thanks nowadays? Why not just call it Giving Food To Your Greedy Family Day? Yeah, I'm part of the greedy family and I don't regret it one bit.
Anyway, I haven't celebrated thanksgiving in over a decade. But this year, my mother encourages me to celebrate thanksgiving at my auntie's crazy pad. Yeah, like I'm going to go greet my cousin with her three pedophile boyfriends (yeah, that's right, she's underaged), my drunk uncle, and my cousin's lazy assed butch of a maid. If I had to do anything over there, it would consist of walling up in my younger cousin's room and watch ADHD make him bounce off the walls like a crazyball. Cute little guy, he is. I guess it would also be nice to visit my baby cousin, but both activities would only last over the course of an hour, which would only take up at least a sixth of my time. Anyway, I don't want to feel like a hypocrite, going over to visit family when there are only a few members of the house that I like. I don't even visit them often anyway. Even if I visited them every day, I don't think I'd want to go over for thanksgiving anyway.
I don't think it's a christian holiday (right?) but I feel out of place being an Atheist and sitting at the table while they perform their Christian prayer. Even worse is trying to explain why I don't join in. Let's just say I am not the type of person who will be visiting Rome any time soon. I wonder if I should just go somewhere on Thanksgiving night. Maybe treat myself to a dinner out. Go to a restaurant. Maybe see a movie.
Is there anything good out, I wonder?
