Explain Such Behaviour

[okidoke]

A work colleague, from my previous job that I retired from 6 years ago, who I've bumped into maybe twice in since, contacted me via Facebook and asked if I still did photography as he wanted some professional photos done for a dating profile he has. I told him I still did. He asked what I charge and I gave him a good price that he was very happy with. He told me what his dress ideas were. I told him that was fine and offered him a location. He thought my suggestion was great and asked when I was available. I gave him a few dates which he selected one with an optional one if the weather was poor. The session was booked. He contacted me the next day and apologised that he had to reschedule due to being put onto a nightshift that week. No worries with me I said. I told him I had a few things on in the next few weeks, but gave him several dates to consider. He said he'd get back to me and confirm a date. I went back to the conversation and noticed that he had blocked me. What the f**k is up with that?

I'm not going to let it get to me like I might have in the past. I'm just going to believe he's the one with the problem and it's not about me, and unless he comes back with some pretty satisfactory reason for blocking me, I'll not be doing a shoot with him. I've been jerked around a hell of a lot in my life and cut people a lot of slack only to be treated like cr@p, so I'm not as forgiving any more.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Maybe his phone died? If he blocked you? Who knows?

 

[okidoke]

Maybe his phone died? If he blocked you? Who knows?

Your phone dying doesn't affect the status of your profile with someone. Let's assume I'm blocked, how is such behaviour explained?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Speaking from a logical position. I don't think I or anyone else could really know. There isn't enough information.

I suppose most people would say, 'f'm he's a **** basket.'
---

It's facebook for one. So, perhaps there's some weird reason having to do with other connections, or past opinions, or posts, or whatever.

So, I suppose my best gueses are.

1: he found something very objectionable to his world view or something.
2: Maybe the cost of the services he asked about were too much, and he figured it was too much.

But, you'd know this person better than me.

I don't use facebook. And I don't think anyone else who values the type of things conducive to a free society, should use it.

That may seem slightly off-topic, but, it's really not...

 

[okidoke]

Speaking from a logical position. I don't think I or anyone else could really know. There isn't enough information.

I suppose most people would say, 'f'm he's a **** basket.'
---

It's facebook for one. So, perhaps there's some weird reason having to do with other connections, or past opinions, or posts, or whatever.

So, I suppose my best gueses are.

1: he found something very objectionable to his world view or something.
2: Maybe the cost of the services he asked about were too much, and he figured it was too much.

But, you'd know this person better than me.

I don't use facebook. And I don't think anyone else who values the type of things conducive to a free society, should use it.

That may seem slightly off-topic, but, it's really not...

Just to clarify, we were using FB messenger, so just PMing each other. I know it's just a guessing exercise, but I suppose I'm asking why people act like jerks like this. I don't know how he would find anything objectionable in our conversation since he agreed with everything and booked a session with me. Seriously, he offered me MORE money lol, and loved the location I suggested because he was able to do a fishing pose at the lake nearby. This is why I'm confused as to why he'd just block me. It makes no sense, hence me asking for an explanation to such weird behaviour. As for FB, I only use it to follow a couple of pages I'm interested in (ie, camping and photography) and to keep in touch with the 12 people I've known for decades that are mostly overseas. I actually hate the platform itself with all its rubbish. Maybe he just is a "**** basket" lol

 

[Unsigned]

Sounds to me like he got an idea in his head, was willing to pay you for taking the pics, then flaked for whatever reason.
The girls I deal with flake all the time, so to me being flaked on is no big deal.
I agree it's very weird for a guy to do that.
But then again...lot's of flakes out there...

 

[okidoke]

Sounds to me like he got an idea in his head, was willing to pay you for taking the pics, then flaked for whatever reason.
The girls I deal with flake all the time, so to me being flaked on is no big deal.
I agree it's very weird for a guy to do that.
But then again...lot's of flakes out there...

That's what I'm thinking. Flake.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yeahh some people are cowards would rather flake than simply say “hey I think you’re a little too expensive” or “truthfully please dont take this wrong I thought you was going to just do it for free for a mate”

For a man to act like this… tells me all I need to know …

 

[okidoke]

Yeahh some people are cowards would rather flake than simply say “hey I think you’re a little too expensive” or “truthfully please dont take this wrong I thought you was going to just do it for free for a mate”

For a man to act like this… tells me all I need to know …

people can definitely be cowardly, but he actually offered me more money that I quoted, which was waaaaay under my usual rate because he was a colleague. maybe he had a meltdown over his dating app or something, or, hmm, maybe he found someone lol, but still, no need to block me, just let me know you don't need the service anymore.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

people can definitely be cowardly, but he actually offered me more money that I quoted, which was waaaaay under my usual rate because he was a colleague. maybe he had a meltdown over his dating app or something, or, hmm, maybe he found someone lol, but still, no need to block me, just let me know you don't need the service anymore.

I think the digital age has made the skill of dealing with awkward or uncomfortable situations redundant. People feel like doing the right thing is the wrong thing because its a little bit uncomfortable fact is, theres no need to take it personal

 

[okidoke]

I think the digital age has made the skill of dealing with awkward or uncomfortable situations redundant. People feel like doing the right thing is the wrong thing because its a little bit uncomfortable fact is, theres no need to take it personal

Well I don’t know what was awkward or uncomfortable and the guy is a cop who has dealt with people in all sorts of situations for years, so ……….

 

[user 139760]

God only knows, man. Actually, even though he was a cop, I'm agreeing with Ceno on this. The internet has made people weird and it's easier to block than to deal with a mikd discomfort. Either that or it was a mistake in some way.
Do you have his number? I'd suggest calling him if you feel up to it.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

That sounds like potential infiltration.
Like someone got into his account, read the convo, felt threatened for whatever reason, and blocked you.
Because logically speaking, I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense, right?
People do do that, particularly if they're either younger and/or with a younger or immature partner.

True Story Time:
My ex was a few years younger than me. She got really drunk one night and got mad that I had a mutual friend on Facebook with some girl my sister was friends with in high school when we were kids. I guess because, that girl went after my exes man that she was with before she was with me, and my ex was still mad at her about it.
So her dumb drunkass self, gets into MY account, messages Sarah and curses her out from MY account while I was asleep and then blocks her.
Now fortunately for me, I don't really know Sarah that well I'd only met her once or twice and that was years ago, so this was of no particular loss to me.
It was quite perplexing to me though:
Because my ex is actually a lot more attractive than Sarah, which is why I was with my ex.
But also, this was sort of how I learned that even though a person can be physically dropdead beautiful by standards, they can still be just as equally insecure and just as equally mentally unstable despite the fact that they're traditionally beautiful.
It took me a small handful of times to see that happen with other women I knew around that time period before I really began to understand that for what it is.

Another good and simple example of how that could happen:
One of my old friends from my 20s ended up with the head dancer at the club we used to hang out at. For a period of probably 5 to 8 years, she was the most physically attractive woman I knew. However their relationship was highly instable, due to a combination of both her own insecurities as well as his.
For a while and because I love these people like my own, I tried mitigating it, but eventually found that they're just not willing to take chances with learning to trust each other, plus they threw me in the middle several times. Eventually I just gave up and strategically bowed out when they decided that the solution to their problem was to get married.
They're still both hitting me up. Which tells me that I guess that didn't help.


I guess what I mean is:
Sometimes man, the solution to people problems, is to just not have people around you that are causing you problems.

 

[okidoke]

God only knows, man. Actually, even though he was a cop, I'm agreeing with Ceno on this. The internet has made people weird and it's easier to block than to deal with a mikd discomfort. Either that or it was a mistake in some way.
Do you have his number? I'd suggest calling him if you feel up to it.

Maybe I'm really intimidating lol. No, I don't have his number.

That sounds like potential infiltration.
Like someone got into his account, read the convo, felt threatened for whatever reason, and blocked you.
......

Maybe his ex who doesn't want him updating his dating profile lol

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Maybe his ex who doesn't want him updating his dating profile lol

It's plausible if she has access to his account somehow without him knowing.

 

[TheSkaFish]

That's bizarre.

I would say there's no reason to block you, especially because it was him that initiated contact with you. It wasn't like you were pestering him, this whole thing was his idea. He could have just said, "I decided to go with a different photographer", or whatever other reason, or just said he didn't need the pictures anymore.

I would say that if you don't absolutely need this guy's business, I would just write him off as a flake, and if he tries again in the future I would not take him seriously. At the bare minimum he's shown disrespect for your time, which is something I find myself having less and less patience for myself, as I get older and think about what I want out of life more.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well I don’t know what was awkward or uncomfortable and the guy is a cop who has dealt with people in all sorts of situations for years, so ……….

Issue is ppl seem okay if they are paid to do it but no ones paying him and it makes him uncomfortable so easier to block.

That's bizarre.

I would say there's no reason to block you, especially because it was him that initiated contact with you. It wasn't like you were pestering him, this whole thing was his idea. He could have just said, "I decided to go with a different photographer", or whatever other reason, or just said he didn't need the pictures anymore.

I would say that if you don't absolutely need this guy's business, I would just write him off as a flake, and if he tries again in the future I would not take him seriously. At the bare minimum he's shown disrespect for your time, which is something I find myself having less and less patience for myself, as I get older and think about what I want out of life more.

This!! Ska! ugh.. like how simple is that? "Hey you know what, sorry to waste your time, I don't need the photos anymore"... this... is what is missing from society today. Like my friend wanted to wake up early and go to a gym session with me, I booked everything and I only get to bring a friend so many times a month, just before we was supposed to meet up she text'd she didnt wanna go and wasted a friend session, it was disappointing but... I was so happy it wasn't the whole, turn their phone off to avoid saying hey I no longer feel up to it..

 

[TheSkaFish]

This!! Ska! ugh.. like how simple is that? "Hey you know what, sorry to waste your time, I don't need the photos anymore"... this... is what is missing from society today. Like my friend wanted to wake up early and go to a gym session with me, I booked everything and I only get to bring a friend so many times a month, just before we was supposed to meet up she text'd she didnt wanna go and wasted a friend session, it was disappointing but... I was so happy it wasn't the whole, turn their phone off to avoid saying hey I no longer feel up to it..

Right? Yeah I agree, common courtesy is lacking today in a major way.

Your friend should know that in asking you to go to the gym, and then not going, she is burning one of your friend passes.

The turn your phone off to avoid saying I no longer feel up for it though...generally I agree with you, but in some cases in my own life I've had to resort to this. There's this guy I know that comes over here randomly, without contacting me first, just inviting himself over, interrupting me in the middle of whatever I'm doing and expecting me to drop it and go hang out with him usually for the rest of the day, or at least a big enough chunk of it that if I go out, the whole day is shot. In the past, I was nice and allowed him to talk, but he'd just go on and on and it would burn my whole day. Eventually I started feeling like, I really need to prioritize myself more, be assertive and set boundaries because I can't count on him to be reasonable. So when he would come over randomly, I would then try to convince him to go home, but he would try to twist my arm and it just got awkward and annoying. So eventually I decided to just stop answering the door whenever I see it's this guy, because I got tired of him disrespecting my time, and it was easier to do that than it was to deal with him.

I don't really want to cause a conflict, because he's not a jerk or a bully, and might not even be fully aware that I feel he's being rude and making a nuisance out of himself. But at the same time, I know I need to prioritize myself more. I don't have time to shoot the bull all day.

Anyway. Yeah, the older I get and the more I feel like my life is not what I want it to be, the more protective I've become of my time. So I feel that.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Right? Yeah I agree, common courtesy is lacking today in a major way.

Your friend should know that in asking you to go to the gym, and then not going, she is burning one of your friend passes.

The turn your phone off to avoid saying I no longer feel up for it though...generally I agree with you, but in some cases in my own life I've had to resort to this. There's this guy I know that comes over here randomly, without contacting me first, just inviting himself over, interrupting me in the middle of whatever I'm doing and expecting me to drop it and go hang out with him usually for the rest of the day, or at least a big enough chunk of it that if I go out, the whole day is shot. In the past, I was nice and allowed him to talk, but he'd just go on and on and it would burn my whole day. Eventually I started feeling like, I really need to prioritize myself more, be assertive and set boundaries because I can't count on him to be reasonable. So when he would come over randomly, I would then try to convince him to go home, but he would try to twist my arm and it just got awkward and annoying. So eventually I decided to just stop answering the door whenever I see it's this guy, because I got tired of him disrespecting my time, and it was easier to do that than it was to deal with him.

I don't really want to cause a conflict, because he's not a jerk or a bully, and might not even be fully aware that I feel he's being rude and making a nuisance out of himself. But at the same time, I know I need to prioritize myself more. I don't have time to shoot the bull all day.

Anyway. Yeah, the older I get and the more I feel like my life is not what I want it to be, the more protective I've become of my time. So I feel that.

I respect that, you tried it wasnt working but the best way for a friend to lose me is to literally plan something with me and then just flake without so much as a “hey something came up hun, cant make it”

I told my friend, do that and then turn off your phone lol that way you know you did the bare minimum, and you dont have to see the reply which would probably be “hey no worries, hope you’re okay, catch up soon” from a normal person lol some people are full on though ska… and they deserve what they get.

 

[9006]

I'd say it's fairly simple: He either found someone cheaper, realised he can't afford it, couldn't be bothered, or completely changed his mind. Whatever the reason it's a common thing these days that it's just easier to block someone rather than having to explain themselves in any way. It's modern society.