Family Ties

[fluffer]

Every time the Holidays rolls around , I am hearing coworkers, etc excitedly talk about all their family events, plans, and on and on. I can't even fathom what it is like to have 20 people over to my house for dinner. Growing up, it was just me and my parents and my sister is much older and left for college when i was in 4th grade. So, most of our holidays was the 3 of us and times when my sister could come home. I don't have any real relationships with aunts, uncles or cousins. I did see them from time to time when young but once my grandparents died, seemed that we never interacted anymore. I hear people chattering about their cousins and extended family and we really have none. Seems a very similar type thing with my spouse, and maybe that is why we found each other, lol. Am I alone with a such a lack of extended family?

 

[JJW]

Am I alone with a such a lack of extended family?

Nope.

When I was a child we had big reunions at my grandmother's farm. It was all my cousins, aunts and uncles, and usually many of the neighbors. Big gatherings.

But as the elders passed away the gatherings stopped. Society has changed since the latter 50s when I was a little kid. Foremost is we can easily communicate with anyone anywhere. The family that used to attend are now all over the place. To attend a reunion is a major undertaking. Expensive. That, and family news is instant. No on wonders how everyone is doing.

We live in a society where the cost of living is literally ten times more than when I was a child. Wages have only gone up five times. It now costs us twice as much to live as did my elders when I was a kid. That's a statistical fact.

It is harder to go farther to learn nothing new. The incentives to gather are no longer there.

I blame high tech, and the greed that has caused inflation to skyrocket since the 70's.

 

[JackNJ]

Every time the Holidays rolls around , I am hearing coworkers, etc excitedly talk about all their family events, plans, and on and on. I can't even fathom what it is like to have 20 people over to my house for dinner. Growing up, it was just me and my parents and my sister is much older and left for college when i was in 4th grade. So, most of our holidays was the 3 of us and times when my sister could come home. I don't have any real relationships with aunts, uncles or cousins. I did see them from time to time when young but once my grandparents died, seemed that we never interacted anymore. I hear people chattering about their cousins and extended family and we really have none. Seems a very similar type thing with my spouse, and maybe that is why we found each other, lol. Am I alone with a such a lack of extended family?

I didn’t come from a very huge family. I came from a very toxic family so holidays for the most part were no fun and/or ruined pretty much every year. My whole side of the family died off and I was on my own from a very young age so holidays were lonely. To this day, I get jealous hearing of other peoples family holiday gatherings because that is something I never knew. I have my wife and kids so it’s just the four of us here in New Jersey as with my side of the family being all long dead and gone, my wife’s family is scattered throughout the world so it’s not easy to bring the family together for holidays.

 

[FrancisG]

No. At least you have a husband to share the holidays with. I know what you mean about having to listen to others talk about all
their plans with family and friends during the holidays. When I grew up my family always had dinners together, then some of the relatives would come by and visit. BUT now, after my Mother died two years ago, I only have two brothers and one is married and he and his spouse used to do things with me, at least meet for lunch every week usually, we would meet at Christmas time and have dinner somewhere and exchange gifts. My other brother is divorced, and now his son lives with him, they do their own thing.

It breaks my heart everytime a holiday comes around because I would LOVE to share the day with family or friends. I tried reaching out to my older brother's family, but they don't invite me over for the holidays, and now my brother and his wife do nothing with me. They've become more distant than before Covid and they have their own little projects going on around the house. They also have no children.

It hurts. I have no husband or close friends anymore.