Fat girls can't be princesses.

[CrazieCute]

Mmmmm...
If my last post sounded offensive, I was just trying to say that, in my opinion, you can't do that, because it devalues "prettiness". I mean, I want to say "sure you can!" but in the end, you would have nothing to strive for. If you said "I'm rich!" there would be no use in making more money. Pretty is only an attractive quality because it has a counterpoint.

I am amazed at so many of the responses to NeverthePrincess's posts.

All you know about her is that she is fat, and so you say she can't call herself pretty?

That's fact to you, not fact to me.

The only woman to break my heart was a big, beautiful apple.

And Princess, there are a lot of people out there like me.

If you want to make me change my mind, could you please respond to the actual argument I was making? The one I highlighted after IgnoredOne's intermission.

I'm not going to change your mind, that's the point. Everyone has their own preference, so no generalization is universal.

You don't have to think she's pretty. You don't have to think any fat girl you see or don't see is pretty.

But all that means is she isn't pretty.. to you.

I don't find most of the hollywood stars attractive, does that mean no one else (including they) should think them attractive and say so?

Beauty is a concept that is subjective, and has no means of measurement that is universal.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I'm not going to change your mind, that's the point. Everyone has their own preference, so no generalization is universal.

You don't have to think she's pretty. You don't have to think any fat girl you see or don't see is pretty.

But all that means is she isn't pretty.. to you.

I don't find most of the hollywood stars attractive, does that mean no one else (including they) should think them attractive and say so?

Beauty is a concept that is subjective, and has no means of measurement that is universal.

Physical attractiveness is a measure variable, with possible biological explanations.

At any rate, the health issues of being above the 95% percentile of your height/gender for weight and solidly being obese are well known, and to a lesser extent, overweight. I'll leave it to a more educated professional to provide better information, but I cannot fail to see how advocating a healthier standard for an individual to be anything but beneficial.

 

[jean-vic]

I cannot fail to see how advocating a healthier standard for an individual to be anything but beneficial.

Because some people are happy as they are. Some people like being overweight. Dawn French, Adele, Jo Brand, James Corden. Some people are happy living that way and if they want to live that way they are entitled to.

 

[trZ]

I agree with IgnoredOne fully and completely. Look to science, not people acting as if they love being fat because they can't get the weight off themselves. Even if there are cases where people would rather want to be fat than thin and healthy, they are in so small numbers its not worth discussing, really.

 

[PurpleDays]

I'm not a princess.

I'm a lawyer.

 

[CrazieCute]

I'm not going to change your mind, that's the point. Everyone has their own preference, so no generalization is universal.

You don't have to think she's pretty. You don't have to think any fat girl you see or don't see is pretty.

But all that means is she isn't pretty.. to you.

I don't find most of the hollywood stars attractive, does that mean no one else (including they) should think them attractive and say so?

Beauty is a concept that is subjective, and has no means of measurement that is universal.

Physical attractiveness is a measure variable, with possible biological explanations.

At any rate, the health issues of being above the 95% percentile of your height/gender for weight and solidly being obese are well known, and to a lesser extent, overweight. I'll leave it to a more educated professional to provide better information, but I cannot fail to see how advocating a healthier standard for an individual to be anything but beneficial.

Uh huh.

How about not advocating it either way, and let people choose for themselves. What could possibly be so terrible? Fat people are accepted so more people don't mind being fat? Say, worse case scenerio, humanity eats itself to death. And? Dead people don't care and our existence is insignificant.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Uh huh.

How about not advocating it either way, and let people choose for themselves. What could possibly be so terrible? Fat people are accepted so more people don't mind being fat? Say, worse case scenerio, humanity eats itself to death. And? Dead people don't care and our existence is insignificant.

Death people don't care if society is judgmental, or not. Dead people, in fact, care for nothing at all and if existence is so insigificant, then your argument is equally nullified since it doesn't matter if we advocate one way or another.

Set, match, point?

 

[Pheenix]

Mmmmm...
If my last post sounded offensive, I was just trying to say that, in my opinion, you can't do that, because it devalues "prettiness". I mean, I want to say "sure you can!" but in the end, you would have nothing to strive for. If you said "I'm rich!" there would be no use in making more money. Pretty is only an attractive quality because it has a counterpoint.

I am amazed at so many of the responses to NeverthePrincess's posts.

All you know about her is that she is fat, and so you say she can't call herself pretty?

That's fact to you, not fact to me.

The only woman to break my heart was a big, beautiful apple.

And Princess, there are a lot of people out there like me.

If you want to make me change my mind, could you please respond to the actual argument I was making? The one I highlighted after IgnoredOne's intermission.

I'm not going to change your mind, that's the point. Everyone has their own preference, so no generalization is universal.

You don't have to think she's pretty. You don't have to think any fat girl you see or don't see is pretty.

But all that means is she isn't pretty.. to you.

I don't find most of the hollywood stars attractive, does that mean no one else (including they) should think them attractive and say so?

Beauty is a concept that is subjective, and has no means of measurement that is universal.

She can call herself pretty sure. Just not attack people for thinking otherwise.

 

[CrazieCute]

Uh huh.

How about not advocating it either way, and let people choose for themselves. What could possibly be so terrible? Fat people are accepted so more people don't mind being fat? Say, worse case scenerio, humanity eats itself to death. And? Dead people don't care and our existence is insignificant.

Death people don't care if society is judgmental, or not. Dead people, in fact, care for nothing at all and if existence is so insigificant, then your argument is equally nullified since it doesn't matter if we advocate one way or another.

Set, match, point?

Exactly. Dead people don't care.

Why has this become such a debate? Princess came on here, a site for lonely people, shares an insecurity, and almost no support is offered.

Is there really so little empathy?

IgnoredOne, if you read my thread on utopia I believe everything and everyone are equally important and insignificant. A lot of people talk about equality, but really don't believe it. So many people feel good when they bring (or keep) someone else down.

 

[Pheenix]

People responding is empathy. Whether they respond positively or negatively comes down to whether they agree or support the sentiment of the opening post.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Exactly. Dead people don't care.

Why has this become such a debate? Princess came on here, a site for lonely people, shares an insecurity, and almost no support is offered.

Is there really so little empathy?

IgnoredOne, if you read my thread on utopia I believe everything and everyone are equally important and insignificant. A lot of people talk about equality, but really don't believe it. So many people feel good when they bring (or keep) someone else down.

I offered support in what I felt was the most significant way: the means and support for her to make her own happiness. No honeyed words can compare to genuinely giving someone their own shot at making their own lives better.


I haven't read your thread but on surface, the idea of making everyone 'equal' is scandalous. I don't believe that making everyone equally insignificant; as a Spartan once observed of Athenian democracy, you would shear off the head of all of the tall wheat grasses so that none could stand out, a genuinely destructive move for society and progress. Far better there be strife and conflict, from within greatness is oft born.

 

[SeekingAdvice]

Hon,

You are gorgeous. The hardest thing to deal with is the celeb gossip world in my opinion. People are really very nice in general and it's the opinions of the ones who aren't which make you feel bad. How easy is it to feel bad when a celeb magazine might slate someone because they have put on enough weight to be a size 10?! (UK sizes if you're an American!). Not fair, not attractive and not neccessary. While you might feel that you don't deserve to be a princess, you should know that you already are one.

If you feel that you are unhappy with yourself, you should first try and accept yourself as you are. There are two ways really. Either just go for it and flaunt it all (not my preferred option) or take little steps to change things. I don't know what that would be for you, but for me, I went for a run and managed a few hundred metres, but I was determined and kept doing it. Now I'm in the Army and can polish off long distances and am considered to be 'robustly fit!' It all took little steps, but it works.

The main thing is that you should not try and isolate youself when you feel bad. You're doing the right thing by confiding with people on here, but you will need to take the risk and grab the bull by its horns. We're not talking big things, just a little something that you wouldn't ever have considered doing. Asking that guy you like for his number and not caring if he says no. It's not a reflection on you as a person, it's just whatever his tastes are. We all crash and burn now and then!!

Anyway, I could talk rubbish for ages, but what I feel you need to try and do (easier said than done) is to look at all the good things you have (the list may outnumber the bad at the start, but understand that is the way it is when you're down) and list the things you're worried about doind. Then tick a worry thing off as often as you can. What is there to lose by going up to a random guy you don't know and saying hello for example? You will either get a yes, learn where you went wrong, or be able to tick off a worry. Over time you'll get more confident and less worried.

And remember: Chances are that anyone who puts you down has far more worries than you. They will feel they have something to prove. By taking action, you will have nothing to prove.

HOpe this helps sweetie. Remember, enjoy the butterflies in your stomach, and know that you are gorgeous, but no-one is gorgeous to everyone!
xx

 

[blackbeard]

If you feel big, you can always workout, but do it for yourself and no one else. If you like the way you are, that's fine too.

I don't think anyone is trying to be rude when they suggest a healthier lifestyle. They're more concerned than anything. I have quite a few relatives with health issues because they didn't heed their doctors' warnings.

 

[LUCK]

Of course they can't. Fat is unattractive to the large majority of population. To some it is a fetish, but only to some few men.

Just lose weight. It is really easy. If you are lucky, you will have a good facial bone structure underneath. If not...at least you won't be fat.