feel dead.. it's so cold..

[Harkat]

marigold, it feels to me that you have, in a sense, forced an unfavorable situation upon yourself. A choice between a ******** ********* ****** who doesn't care about you in as much as his public image, or being "back in that horrible, terrible!!!!! dreadful isolation".
Is it really worse to be alone, by yourself than it is to be with someone who does not care for you?

Sometimes....becuase im my own worst enemy.

True. But you don't really need someone else adding fuel to the fire though.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Fuel to fire....yeap.
Something we must all wieght out for ourselves.

Strange as it may be. I enjoy my alone time
From the fire...

The moments ive walled alone on the beach
Without someone by my side was really sad.
As beautiful and sureen it may had been.

Compair to the moments i walk it with
Someone, not on a perfect day. I felt
Peaceful.

The choics i make through my own
Experience.
I think toomuch or experienced to much
Either way. The pros and cons

---

LOVE Was never free
Though i feel ive paid a heavy price to be
In this relationship im im now.
It wasnt aways bad nor always good.

---

So many ways i look at things.
How much can i tolerated my loneliness
Or how much can i tolerated ********.

---

In a toxic relationship....
Its the pains factor.

The pains of staying must be grester than
The pains of leaving.

Everyone has a different threshold of pains.

Emotionally driven or blindrd by emotions.
My brain is wired loke so.
Im awear or can reasons things out...
My course of actions is based on my emotions
Never the less. When i observe myself...
This are the patterns

 

[Lonely in BC]

marigold, it feels to me that you have, in a sense, forced an unfavorable situation upon yourself. A choice between a ******** ********* ****** who doesn't care about you in as much as his public image, or being "back in that horrible, terrible!!!!! dreadful isolation".
Is it really worse to be alone, by yourself than it is to be with someone who does not care for you?

Harkat- I gently ask you to refrain from the use of the word "******". We all know what it implies and the stereotype associated with that is unacceptable. If you had instead used something like the word "*******" I'd be totally with you.

Thanks friend.

 

[whispers]

Marigold, i understand your situation. He is an abuser and a manipulator. He will not change, you will never be able to trust him, he will backstab you when you least expect it, and when it hurts the most. He will make you feel alone, make you feel like you cant trust no one. He may even hit you at some point, but of course he will make it your fault. He will redicule you in public. He will never stand up for you. He will be your worst enemy. Do you realy want to have this man in your life ? I know you can find better, your self esteem is low right now, but you can work on that. Take your time and find someone who is worthy of your love. I did the move, it was hard but it was the best choice of my life.