Feeling deflated

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Triple Bogey said:
Paraiyar said:
Well that didn't go well. I don't know if it was because she was tired or not but she was really cold with me and friendly with other people. I feel kind of stupid for coming back now. Oh well, nevermind.


I can't make sense of this. Everything seemed so positive and then she just behaved so coldly. I don't know what it is about me that makes my mother's female friends in their 50s-70s think I'm great and make women in my age group so cold and indifferent. It really stings deep down though.



Your mothers friends probably feel sorry for you a bit.
And women that age look for other things.


Paraiyar said:
****, this really hurts. When I went to say goodbye to her because I needed to get out of there, she just looked at me so coldly like I was creep she'd never met before. Maybe I just imagined that she ever liked me at all.

Yes you probably did. She was maybe in a happy mood, that's why she spoke to you for a bit. Don't think you are a creep because you aren't. I went thru so many situations like this. I built my hopes up only to be let down. Women who were nice to me were different the next day. Cold and horrible. I have learned women in general can be in different moods from day to day. They ignore me one day and then look like they want to marry me the next. No reason for it.


Paraiyar said:
Am at the airport now. Surprised she hasn't removed me from Facebook considering how she looked at me last night.

Oh well, guess I have NYC to look forward to. Would have loved to have an Eastern European girlfriend though.

Delete her from your facebook and forget about her. You hardly knew her as well. She could have turned out to be horrible. See it as a something unpleasant you avoided. Just because a woman happens to share a conversation with you, try not to fall for her so hard in the future. Try to be more laid back.





My mother's friends don't know anything about my track record with girls so I doubt it's down to that.

We really did seem to connect positively the first time we met though and talked for ages. Plus I don't get her reaction to me telling her how I felt if it made her uncomfortable. And I don't normally fall for women who converse with me, because I don't generally relate to them, in fact the whole problem back in NZ for me is that I just don't seem to find ones I enjoy conversing with much.

You're right though, the opposite sex do tend to run hot and cold a lot, at least in my experienc.
 
Paraiyar said:
Triple Bogey said:
Paraiyar said:
Well that didn't go well. I don't know if it was because she was tired or not but she was really cold with me and friendly with other people. I feel kind of stupid for coming back now. Oh well, nevermind.


I can't make sense of this. Everything seemed so positive and then she just behaved so coldly. I don't know what it is about me that makes my mother's female friends in their 50s-70s think I'm great and make women in my age group so cold and indifferent. It really stings deep down though.



Your mothers friends probably feel sorry for you a bit.
And women that age look for other things.


Paraiyar said:
****, this really hurts. When I went to say goodbye to her because I needed to get out of there, she just looked at me so coldly like I was creep she'd never met before. Maybe I just imagined that she ever liked me at all.

Yes you probably did. She was maybe in a happy mood, that's why she spoke to you for a bit. Don't think you are a creep because you aren't. I went thru so many situations like this. I built my hopes up only to be let down. Women who were nice to me were different the next day. Cold and horrible. I have learned women in general can be in different moods from day to day. They ignore me one day and then look like they want to marry me the next. No reason for it.


Paraiyar said:
Am at the airport now. Surprised she hasn't removed me from Facebook considering how she looked at me last night.

Oh well, guess I have NYC to look forward to. Would have loved to have an Eastern European girlfriend though.

Delete her from your facebook and forget about her. You hardly knew her as well. She could have turned out to be horrible. See it as a something unpleasant you avoided. Just because a woman happens to share a conversation with you, try not to fall for her so hard in the future. Try to be more laid back.





My mother's friends don't know anything about my track record with girls so I doubt it's down to that.

We really did seem to connect positively the first time we met though and talked for ages. Plus I don't get her reaction to me telling her how I felt if it made her uncomfortable. And I don't normally fall for women who converse with me, because I don't generally relate to them, in fact the whole problem back in NZ for me is that I just don't seem to find ones I enjoy conversing with much.

You're right though, the opposite sex do tend to run hot and cold a lot, at least in my experienc.





We can't chose which women like us. Maybe older women see something younger ones don't ?

Look to the positives, the conversations you had this woman. There is nothing to stop you doing that again with another woman and maybe next time there will be a better outcome.
 
Paraiyar said:
Well that didn't go well. I don't know if it was because she was tired or not but she was really cold with me and friendly with other people. I feel kind of stupid for coming back now. Oh well, nevermind.


I can't make sense of this. Everything seemed so positive and then she just behaved so coldly. I don't know what it is about me that makes my mother's female friends in their 50s-70s think I'm great and make women in my age group so cold and indifferent. It really stings deep down though.



Fairly new here, but I have been an avid reader here for a few weeks. You guys & gals are very interesting group here that I sincerely enjoy. :D

Sucks to hear things didn't go as planned, as I was really rooting for ya. You sound like a cool dude. I've got a question. Do you remember what your body language and posture were like during this meet up? I've noticed many people when nervous, (many times unknowingly) have closed body language and tend to slouch a bit...
Our non-verbals govern how other people think and feel about us.
Open body language and good posture shows power & confidence, while closed body language displays fear and insecurity, (Not saying that you are) ;)

Maybe your body language was a bit closed? If so, maybe she was subconsciously put off by it. Or maybe she was purposely cold towards you to see how you would handle it.

In any case, there's plenty of fish in the sea brother and I'm sure you'll see fireworks next time.
 
I_still_believe said:
Paraiyar said:
Well that didn't go well. I don't know if it was because she was tired or not but she was really cold with me and friendly with other people. I feel kind of stupid for coming back now. Oh well, nevermind.


I can't make sense of this. Everything seemed so positive and then she just behaved so coldly. I don't know what it is about me that makes my mother's female friends in their 50s-70s think I'm great and make women in my age group so cold and indifferent. It really stings deep down though.



Fairly new here, but I have been an avid reader here for a few weeks. You guys & gals are very interesting group here that I sincerely enjoy. :D

Sucks to hear things didn't go as planned, as I was really rooting for ya. You sound like a cool dude. I've got a question. Do you remember what your body language and posture were like during this meet up? I've noticed many people when nervous, (many times unknowingly) have closed body language and tend to slouch a bit...
Our non-verbals govern how other people think and feel about us.
Open body language and good posture shows power & confidence, while closed body language displays fear and insecurity, (Not saying that you are) ;)

Maybe your body language was a bit closed? If so, maybe she was subconsciously put off by it. Or maybe she was purposely cold towards you to see how you would handle it.

In any case, there's plenty of fish in the sea brother and I'm sure you'll see fireworks next time.



Hey man. Think my posture was fine. I paused more and had more trouble with conversation but I think that was just a result of picking up on her hostility.

Plenty more fish in the sea indeed. I was going to try my luck with the girls in NYC but I picked up this horrible bed bug rash in Warsaw that makes me think it would be a bad move to try anything anyway.
 
Paraiyar said:
I_still_believe said:
Paraiyar said:
Well that didn't go well. I don't know if it was because she was tired or not but she was really cold with me and friendly with other people. I feel kind of stupid for coming back now. Oh well, nevermind.


I can't make sense of this. Everything seemed so positive and then she just behaved so coldly. I don't know what it is about me that makes my mother's female friends in their 50s-70s think I'm great and make women in my age group so cold and indifferent. It really stings deep down though.



Fairly new here, but I have been an avid reader here for a few weeks. You guys & gals are very interesting group here that I sincerely enjoy. :D

Sucks to hear things didn't go as planned, as I was really rooting for ya. You sound like a cool dude. I've got a question. Do you remember what your body language and posture were like during this meet up? I've noticed many people when nervous, (many times unknowingly) have closed body language and tend to slouch a bit...
Our non-verbals govern how other people think and feel about us.
Open body language and good posture shows power & confidence, while closed body language displays fear and insecurity, (Not saying that you are) ;)

Maybe your body language was a bit closed? If so, maybe she was subconsciously put off by it. Or maybe she was purposely cold towards you to see how you would handle it.

In any case, there's plenty of fish in the sea brother and I'm sure you'll see fireworks next time.



Hey man. Think my posture was fine. I paused more and had more trouble with conversation but I think that was just a result of picking up on her hostility.

Plenty more fish in the sea indeed. I was going to try my luck with the girls in NYC but I picked up this horrible bed bug rash in Warsaw that makes me think it would be a bad move to try anything anyway.



Dang. Yeah, better clear up that rash first. Nice positive attitude... Keep that water clean and things will fall into place. :D
 

Latest posts

Back
Top