Fetish?

[TheSkaFish]

That's always been my impression too. But what about a situation like this? I think I can safely say that most men find women in lingerie alluring - I wouldn't consider this a fetish as it's very common. But what if a woman found men dressed in lingerie attractive? Would that be a fetish? It's somewhat unusual. Or maybe it's more of a kink according to this definition:

A kink. ... Kinks are employed to enhance an experience, fetishes are integral to them. Another way a kink becomes a fetish is if the other person can be removed from the equation – if you are turned on by the shoes alone, for instance, and don't need anyone to be wearing them, that's a fetish.

Yeah, I would agree that both those things are a fetish because they're both unusual. Maybe the lingerie would be a kink as well, because it's about the person wearing it, whereas the shoes alone are just a fetish.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You know what it is kinda creepy, only because its so bloody generic. But who am I to talk... white men are my fetish... and they have to have very specific characteristics but... no one wants me to go into detail about that lmao.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Yes, the whole subject of fetishes is pretty incoherent. Some so-called "fetishes" have even reached the level of psychiatric disorders. For example, homosexuality was, until relatively recently (1973), an official "disorder" in the United States.

The Merck Manual defines it like this:

"Fetishism is use of an inanimate object (the fetish) as the preferred method of producing sexual excitement. However, in common parlance, the word is often used to describe particular sexual interests, such as sexual role-playing, preference for certain physical characteristics, and preferred sexual activities or objects. Fetishistic disorder refers to recurrent, intense sexual arousal from use of an inanimate object or from a very specific focus on a nongenital body part (or parts) that causes significant distress or functional impairment."

In reality, humans are so fundamentally sexual that just about anything turns them on. While researching "fetishes" I've come across so many I can't even list them all, but some include: bug squashing in high heels, furries, tickling, biting, pain, coprophagia, foot, elbow, underknee, neck, eyebrow, giantism, smallism, piercing, suffocation, shaving, cosplay, bondage, bestiality, branding, blood-letting, videos, pictures, feather boas... the list goes on and on and on...

Humans can imprint sexual desires on to just about anything and it's just a part of human sexual desire. Some "fetishes" can be harmful, of course, such as non-consensual actions or anything involving minors. Those are absolutely no good. So I would delineate that as the boundary. As long as an action takes place between two consenting adults, and "consenting" and "adults" are very key words, it's pretty fair game. Bestiality is a tricky one, because can animals consent or not consent? I would argue that they can't, but I won't wrangle down that vortex right now. But whether to call something a "fetish," I don't know, it seems like a personal or a cultural preference. The word is so inconsistently used as to be almost meaningless at this point. Opinions and definitions will differ country to country and culture to culture and even person to person. But human sexuality, regardless, seems pretty consistent in its vastness and indefinability.

You know I watched some film, and a man had a swimming cap fetish, I just thought .... what in the worldddd

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I don't think liking plus size women is a fetish per se, now that I see the definitions. That would be like saying, that liking thin guys is a fetish (since I imagine most women like muscular guys instead, and that is the norm). It's more like a body type preference.

A fetish, I think, is like a foot fetish, or being turned on by a certain costumes or people in certain jobs, and things like that - especially if it's unusual. That's my impression, at least.

Is it a fetish, if you like a flabby belly? like you like the rolls?

 

[Colster]

The one that gets me, are those guys who will shove the strangest of things into their rectum, then their excuses once in A&E -

Yeah my trousers flew open as I fell upon the pint glass.

I was attempting to defuse the bomb, when it launched itself up my arse.

 

[Azariah]

i have a kissing fetish and saliva swapping fetish. it always turns me one when ****stars do that.

 

[August Campbell]

Another good topic from Cenotaph Girl. I don't know whether this is a fetish or not but I like to see a lady using a Sword. Because back in the day I used to participate in a local Fencing Club and I saw some really formidable lady-fencers there.

 

[Azariah]

Big Butts thats gotta be your basic men's fetish lol

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Erm, are you asking the difference between a fetish and a kink??

Fetishes are like "I must have this or I won't feel satisfied" and kinks are more...optional, like you could take it or leave it kind of a thing.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Erm, are you asking the difference between a fetish and a kink??

Fetishes are like "I must have this or I won't feel satisfied" and kinks are more...optional, like you could take it or leave it kind of a thing.

It’s like plus size women are considered a fetish where im from but i dont get it… or asian women, why is it deemed a fetish? They’re just women its like in that case blondes should be a bloody fetish

 

[Azariah]

I thought blondes are considered a fetish? lol

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I thought blondes are considered a fetish? lol

Not where im from mate

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

It’s like plus size women are considered a fetish where im from but i dont get it… or asian women, why is it deemed a fetish? They’re just women its like in that case blondes should be a bloody fetish

I dated a plus size woman for 8 years. It's not really a fetish to me, and I agree with your statement that they're just women, just by happenstance she also was plus sized. I'm a musician, she was an opera singer.

I think that people have attractions that they find Exotic, which are a little different than fetishes and kinks. Fetishes and kinks are more explicit, an Exotic Attraction is, well, an Attraction.

Uumm the only way I can really think of to explain it is that I used to manage a warehouse of men. I had two guys working for me, one was a black man who mostly only dated white women, another was a white man who mostly only dated black women. We were all friends outside of work, so naturally the discussion of interracial dating came up eventually and they just both concluded that that's what they found Exotic. Neither were opposed to dating women of the same ethnicity, just that wasn't their preference.

So, in that regard, what's an Exotic Attraction, can be different than either a Fetish or a Kink.

People have Exotic Attractions, that's just as normal as having Fetishes and Kinks, but I wouldn't really say an Exotic Attraction is the same as a Kink or a Fetish. --That is, as opposed to being Fetishized, which is when a person feels they're being sexually objectified because of X or Y reason/s, which is also an aspect of an Exotic Attraction despite the complicated wording. --I've been on both sides of this, so I have an unbiased stance.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I dated a plus size woman for 8 years. It's not really a fetish to me, and I agree with your statement that they're just women, just by happenstance she also was plus sized. I'm a musician, she was an opera singer.

I think that people have attractions that they find Exotic, which are a little different than fetishes and kinks. Fetishes and kinks are more explicit, an Exotic Attraction is, well, an Attraction.

Uumm the only way I can really think of to explain it is that I used to manage a warehouse of men. I had two guys working for me, one was a black man who mostly only dated white women, another was a white man who mostly only dated black women. We were all friends outside of work, so naturally the discussion of interracial dating came up eventually and they just both concluded that that's what they found Exotic. Neither were opposed to dating women of the same ethnicity, just that wasn't their preference.

So, in that regard, what's an Exotic Attraction, can be different than either a Fetish or a Kink.

People have Exotic Attractions, that's just as normal as having Fetishes and Kinks, but I wouldn't really say an Exotic Attraction is the same as a Kink or a Fetish. --That is, as opposed to being Fetishized, which is when a person feels they're being sexually objectified because of X or Y reason/s, which is also an aspect of an Exotic Attraction despite the complicated wording. --I've been on both sides of this, so I have an unbiased stance.

Interesting …i dont see white men as exotic, only a forbidden fruit that i will try once and deny forever

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Interesting …i dont see white men as exotic, only a forbidden fruit that i will try once and deny forever

That was just the only example I could think of at the time.

 

[ardour]

In reality, humans are so fundamentally sexual that just about anything turns them on. While researching "fetishes" I've come across so many I can't even list them all, but some include: bug squashing in high heels, furries, tickling, biting, pain, coprophagia, foot, elbow, underknee, neck, eyebrow, giantism, smallism, piercing, suffocation, shaving, cosplay, bondage, bestiality, branding, blood-letting, videos, pictures, feather boas... the list goes on and on and on...

The percentage of people who have these kind of tendencies as a segment population, is a different thing. It might be varied but it's not as common as some people think.

 

[Azariah]

i **** beastiality but only if the girl is hot.

 

[user 148069]

Ladies, Gents … all else under the moon and stars

please can you explain to me why some preferences are deemed fetishes and some aren't?

For example… why is liking plus size women a fetish? I just dont get it..

From what I understand it's consider a fetish if you like someone solely because they a plus size and not the whole person.
I'm just going to use the asian fetish as an example since normally it's directed towards East Asians. Let's assume Guy A in the example is just some non Asian dude.

Girl: So, what do you actually like about me?
Guy A: I like that you are Asian
Girl: ok...no really, what do you like about me as a person?
Guy A: I don't know, I just really, really like Japanese girls!
Girl: I'm Vietnamese!

On the flip side of this however, it can be like the comic Finished shared especially in the second panel.

Maddening isn't it?

If you want to read up on things, educate yourself and get some other perspective that's fine. But there's also no point to overthink things and I guess it's fine to have some preferences like how you said you like white dudes with blue eyes. I mean I get the appeal, they're like Vikings or Chris Hemsworth in Thor lol. But I hope ultimately you pick someone because they're a good person and would treat you right not solely because of the eye colour. I hope my ramblings made some sense!

 

[user 135671]

read up on things, educate yourself and get some other perspective that's fine.

I did this and found I've been fetishized, is that a word?, Coincidently by East Asian women several times.

Trichophilia, also known as a hair fetish, is when someone feels sexually aroused by or attracted to human hair. This can be any type of human hair, such as chest hair, armpit hair, or pubic hair.

Apparently East Asian men have little to no body hair and I have a very hairy chest.

 

[ardour]

@orangecat
Most people require physical attraction before they're prepared to go further and appreciate someone as a person in the romantic sense. If those initial preferences for race, height, eye colour, etc are strong then it could easily seem that way. ( I have that preference for Asian women that gets condemned everywhere... literally thousands of young 20 something Asian women around where I work. I'm a creepy white male stereotype..)
I guess it comes down to whether the individual is seen as interchangeable.

Of course you actually have to be dating i.e. dateable before really figuring out whether you're 'objectifying' someone based off of x trait.