Finding the one

[EveWasFramed]

Please...you two stop and leave the thread alone.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Name calling is NOT allowed on this forum.

Enjoy your week off Dveus, you've been a member here long enough to know the type of behaviour you have been exhibiting the past few days is NOT permitted on this forum.

 

[Rosebolt]

I guess i can relate to you. I kind of have the same problem, though i'm a guy, and i don't seem to have that problem online, for some reason. But online is meh. I don't know if it's different for girls as opposed to guys. I've been a guy for as long as i can remember so i only have one viewpoint, and an unexperienced one at that. But, assuming it's the same for girls as for guys, then i agree with Callie. There are plenty of people around who would be compatible. Don't give up!

 

[Triple Bogey]

finding somebody shouldn't be that important. I think relationships are over rated. I say stay single and be happy.

 

[jjam]

I have a friend who's 30, and she still deals with guys who could not care less about her beyond what they do in the sack. So, she remains very frustrated.

Many younger guys don't have the kind of patience required to make a relationship a lasting one, and that's understandable from a biological (hormonal) standpoint, but it can be frustrating to the women who want something more than a one-nighter. So, I feel for you.

Then why does she "still deal" with them? I've dealt (DEAL) with a woman who even in trying to build a friendship that I thought she cared for has only ever made me feel like she gave a damn directly following some gesture I performed for her. At some point you want to be able to say about your friends that they've thought of/concerned for/uplifted you in positive ways, and not merely as a direct consequence of your own good gestures of friendship directed at them.

So I reflect on a years-long experience as a male working to build a true friendship with a woman, and keep coming back to the question - is this what I want in ANY friendship, male or female? Is this what I should feel like I need to push through to achieve what I call myself working towards? Would someone have to push through this with me? No. So why in the heck would I want to "deal with" another woman in the same fashion, knowing how bad it feels? Next time, no deal. Red flags don't get ignored unless I want more of the same deal that I claim to find unappealing.

The same should go for women who keep dealing with guys who make them feel all they care about is sexing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

finding somebody shouldn't be that important. I think relationships are over rated. I say stay single and be happy.

I think it's important to many people for their sanity.

 

[ardour]

No such thing as "the one". That's a fantasy, usually borne of unrealistic standards. Long term relationships involve compromise.

Are you sure you're not just interested in the 'wrong' type? There's many men out there who want something more meaningful, but they're often quite, don't impose their personalities on others and therefore practically invisible.Too bad.

 

[stork_error]

finding somebody shouldn't be that important. I think relationships are over rated. I say stay single and be happy.

cheers

 

[Batman55]

you are a true punk *****...funny how you didn't give an opinion but attacked my opinion instead...i was not telling her to give up but that reality is a *****...and that ***** may as well be you...i suggest you think first before attacking someone to whom you do not agree...want more punk?...pm me and i will set your punk *** straight...

I'll take some butter with that popcorn, please

 

[mad monty]

yeah. I do feel like this sometimes. I just feel like there no one for me. I'm just way to different I guess.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Hello! I have this problem where I can't seem to find any guys I can relate to. Do you ever feel like this? It seems like most of them are only interested in getting laid or having fun, none of them are really into getting to know the other person, and it seems odd because you get bored partying all the time and socializing on a superficial level. Any thoughts?

I have the same problem, but I am a guy. I can't find any girls who really stand out to me, who also want me. The large majority of girls around here are like the large majority of people in general around here - it isn't that they are bad or worse or inferior - I gave that impression before because I wasn't articulating well. It's more like, they're just not interested in the same things, not looking for the same experiences, not looking for the same conversations, the same thoughts, and so on. They don't want to go in the direction I want to go, and I don't want to go in the direction that they want to go. We just don't relate.

I'm looking for a partner-in-crime. I'm looking for a companion, someone to really share with and connect with deeply. Someone who makes me feel like we aren't just going through the motions, experiencing the exact same thing everyone else is doing.

And when I do find those rare someones, on the bluest of moons, I am just not interesting enough for them. I wish I'd been working on this all my life, like everyone else had done, but I had been defeatist and lazy and only now am I realizing I could have done it all along but now I'm very far behind.

 

[adilabdulla]

If you believe in soul mates, you have to believe in God and His plan by default. There is a perfect someone on earth for every human. Question is, do you have the faith to put the biggest decision of your life in God's hands? or are you more capable of choosing the right one and deciding it on your own?

Lots have to change before the idea of love can even make its first appearance on earth.

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

Actually adilabdulla I do believe in soul mates but I don't believe in God(or at least not any the conventional sense perhaps)....I also believe that it's possible to have more than one soul mate during your life.
I would say I have already experienced this with someone but that we are unable to be together.
I am hoping that I may experience something just as deeply profound with someone else at some point in the future, it can never be the same as everyone is unique so each & every relationship between two people is a unique experience itself.

 

[ladyforsaken]

If you believe in soul mates, you have to believe in God and His plan by default.

I would say, not necessarily. Not everyone believes in God, I believe they would still be able to find their person.

 

[Darrell_Licht]

Lot's of people are like this. Hedonistic. You're less likely to find somebody most like you (I suspect you're a introverted variety, yes?) because they are likely doing the same things you are. Staying in and such. It's best to get involved in a club or activity you truly enjoy and somebody might come along.


And don't make the mistake with 'gods will' dictating what happens in your life. That has to be the worst form of complacency ever. Free will is a gift god gave you. It's really all up to you. Having faith is another matter altogether. I feel god has nothing to do with the most innocuous aspects in life. Which is many things. I would wager, just about anything else.
God has nothing to do with who gets to procreate and who doesnt. There are no 'soul mates' Just the few people you 'clique' with, and a whoole lot you don't.

 

[Case]

I have a friend who's 30, and she still deals with guys who could not care less about her beyond what they do in the sack. So, she remains very frustrated.

Then why does she "still deal" with them?

Like anyone who opens themselves up to the dating world, she finds good guys and she finds "less-than-good" guys. One kind of guy she hasn't found yet is the right guy. Either they only want to hookup without exclusivity, or they've been very immature. It's the same for some of my other female friends who want to find a guy to settle down with.

 

[Minty]

I find that I can get on really easily with guys, have a laugh with them, good at talking with them, etc. And then, dead end. Nothing.

It happens time and time again when I think I am getting on really well with a guy, become kind of friends with them over a period of time and feel that there is a connection and then I discover that they are interested in my mate - who they barely speak to. It's very frustrating because I start to feel that men are only interested in looks (I don't think I am unattractive, but I'm not skinny). I even found myself becoming jealous of my friend at one point, stupidly.

I would love nothing more than to find someone to share my life with but I am very disillusioned with men. I don't expect anything anymore.

---

If you believe in soul mates, you have to believe in God and His plan by default. There is a perfect someone on earth for every human. Question is, do you have the faith to put the biggest decision of your life in God's hands? or are you more capable of choosing the right one and deciding it on your own?

Lots have to change before the idea of love can even make its first appearance on earth.

As Ladyforsaken and Alma lost her spoon said, you don't have to believe in god to believe you'll find your soul mate. I believe in soul mates and I'm an Atheist.

 

[blackfire]

I used 2 believe in the one... I stopped along damned time ago! in fact im so oppose 2 that phrase that when I hear it, all I wanna do is slap some sense into the person that says so they can see, it will never happen 4 me... and honestly im so much more happy w/ out that bs than w/...

 

[gabriel20]

Your young,your attractive, you've got a fantastic way of making people feel good about themselves,don't be so negative about yourself. The only negativity is from the young guys around you,who don't realise what a fantastic chance they have of being with such a really nice person.


Oh,and please don't slap me!