Finding yourself and others.

[ShybutHi]

Being a bit bitter about my life for the last couple of years, I have realised now how you just have to relax as much as possible and do what you enjoy even if times are hard, just do what you enjoy when you can and take an interest in things. Try and find the things that make you happy as in subjects and activities that you enjoy researching about or doing. It is also about finding who you are as a person. Everyone has problems in life too and it can get hard, it can seem like there is no point and if things make you feel this way, then you need to create a point and condition yourself so you can fulfill this point.

There is always room for self improvement for everyone and in the context of relationships, I think some of the main things that help with finding someone are getting over any lack of confidence, bitterness, insecurity and finding yourself as a person and what you enjoy... So you can show who you really are... A human being who, like everyone, wishes to be happy and enjoy life. Also what I am getting at is even if you are an incredibly cynical person for example or maybe very sarcastic, eccentric or maybe you might just hate "people" in general for example, atleast condition yourself so you can find someone who you can hate people with! lol


**** other people if they are going to be negative towards you aswell. If you are going to be genuinely nice to others and approach others in a friendly manner then no one has the right to be negative towards you. People who do this need to grow up and stop having such an ignorant viewpoint on life. Do not let people walk over you.

The more positive you are and the more hope you have, the more chance the things you want in life will happen because this way you are creating a catalyst for more experiences. You have to build youself up to allow yourself to become positive... This will make you more hopeful and it is done by finding what you enjoy in life.


I hope through this philosophy, when concerning relationships, that I will be alot more approachable, easier to talk to and vice versa because I am showing that I would like to be approached and that I have my own interests and opinions in life which I would like to share, that I may even have similar interests and opinions to a woman and also that I am open to learning about subjects and things that she is interested in. After all I am just participating in the game of life like everybody else, man or woman, and am following my interests and trying to enjoy the experience I have while still here.
I personally am totally broken when it comes to socializing, especially with women, and that is my biggest flaw... Social anxiety certainly does not help. The only way to become better is to just do it, be more sociable, more confident in my own interests and who I am as a person, so people can see who I really am.

I think it is good to try and help oneself and others. This is just a point of view that hopefully may even inspire someone to be happier and feel more content in life. Everyone would like to be happy.

 

[Montreal Skye]

Cheers!!!!! What a great post! You are so right about every point you made. I think that staying away from negativity in all forms is crucial with someone who has social anxiety and anxiety in general. We don't have thick skins do we? But we can develop a thick skin by being positive, open-minded and BRAVE. People will attract what they project. If you project negativity, that's what you'll get. When you project compassion, kindness, interest and confidence (even if you have to fake it at first, trust me on that one!), you'll get positivity in return. I truly believe this and it's definitely a proven philosophy for me since I made my life-changes in the past few years. I even feel better being alone because I'm allowing myself to enjoy my life instead of living in the negative. I'm glad to have read this!

 

[ShybutHi]

Thank you Montreal Skye and thank you for a great reply. I agree with all the points you made there and I actually think it is a great addition to what I wrote.

 

[putter65]

Cheers!!!!! What a great post! You are so right about every point you made. I think that staying away from negativity in all forms is crucial with someone who has social anxiety and anxiety in general. We don't have thick skins do we? But we can develop a thick skin by being positive, open-minded and BRAVE. People will attract what they project. If you project negativity, that's what you'll get. When you project compassion, kindness, interest and confidence (even if you have to fake it at first, trust me on that one!), you'll get positivity in return. I truly believe this and it's definitely a proven philosophy for me since I made my life-changes in the past few years. I even feel better being alone because I'm allowing myself to enjoy my life instead of living in the negative. I'm glad to have read this!

I am caring, warm hearted, generous, kind, compassonate, patient, interesting, a good listener and funny - it's never helped me one bit. That is my opinion about myself. What other people think I have no idea. I think I'm great. I think I am very funny. I think I am wonderfull. I have confidence but I am laid back as well, modest. Why women don't see my qualities I don't know ? It's a mystery.

 

[ShybutHi]

I would list myself with alot of these positive qualities aswell. Maybe you are not initially projecting to people that you have these qualities.

 

[MissGuided]

very nice post, Shy...good for you!

 

[ShybutHi]

Do not get me wrong MissGuided I, like everyone, are all on the road of self discovery and I have a long way to go... But I think and hope I am now on the right track. I did not do the post for myself, but for others. I also certainly do not think I have some kind of special wisdom when it comes to the subject but I think there is no harm in sharing something which could potentially help people.

 

[Okiedokes]

What a wonderful post...that actually cheered me up a bit. You are so right about making the best out of life and doing what makes you happy instead of focusing on all the negative crap. Everybody has negative crap. Digging for the positives helps to put a security blanket on some of the negative things in life. Thanks ya!