Friends with Cuddle Benefits

[Equinox]

Think of it like this: two people (I suppose a guy and a girl would be the standard here) lying together on a couch watching a movie while holding each other... the twist is that's the extent of their relationship. They're just friends, and there's no sex or anything of the sort. It's just a friendship between two people with the added dimension of cuddling, holding hands or each other... that sort of thing.

Does such a thing exist, or have you heard of this kind of arrangement? Would you like/dislike this, and why? I wouldn't think this would have the same social stigma as the "friends with benefits" label has, do you agree?

It does exist. That's exactly the kind of friendship I had with my male best friend some years ago (before he got a girlfriend and I moved from the city). We never talked about it, never planned it, it just evolved that way. It was very nice, relaxing and comforting. I miss that friendship.

 

[Frito Bandito]

Think of it like this: two people (I suppose a guy and a girl would be the standard here) lying together on a couch watching a movie while holding each other... the twist is that's the extent of their relationship. They're just friends, and there's no sex or anything of the sort. It's just a friendship between two people with the added dimension of cuddling, holding hands or each other... that sort of thing.

Does such a thing exist, or have you heard of this kind of arrangement? Would you like/dislike this, and why? I wouldn't think this would have the same social stigma as the "friends with benefits" label has, do you agree?

It does exist. That's exactly the kind of friendship I had with my male best friend some years ago (before he got a girlfriend and I moved from the city). We never talked about it, never planned it, it just evolved that way. It was very nice, relaxing and comforting. I miss that friendship.

Every night he desperately masturbated in a feverish fashion praying for the day when he had courage to make his move.

 

[EveWasFramed]

If they do exist, I want one for Christmas.

 

[tangerinedream]

Call me stodgy and old-fashioned, but the only one who gets cuddle benefits - besides my kids - is the person I'm intimately involved with.

I think that there's just too much possibility for confusion and resentment in a FWCB scenario.

Plus, no one likes a tease.

 

[Anten]

Every night he desperately masturbated in a feverish fashion praying for the day when he had courage to make his move.

Haha, I like how girls think a heterosexual male would fully enjoy cuddling without the possibility of sex. What ever you girls think this guy wants to **** your brains out. If you went to kiss him it might be shocking at first on his part but you guys would be ******* shortly after. All you who said your heterosexual guy friend was into it, that's because you never read his mind and you most likely downplayed the many times he had wondering hands or make a sexual comment in sarcasm.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Haha, I like how girls think a heterosexual male would fully enjoy cuddling without the possibility of sex. What ever you girls think this guy wants to **** your brains out. If you went to kiss him it might be shocking at first on his part but you guys would be ******* shortly after. All you who said your heterosexual guy friend was into it, that's because you never read his mind and you most likely downplayed the many times he had wondering hands or make a sexual comment in sarcasm.

What? This is stupid Anten, sorry.

Are you trying to say males can't feel emotional/physical closeness to a girl without the need to "****" them?

Because I find that type of gender stereotyping just as offensive as if you were to legitimately say something like "all women are whores". It's shallow, cheapening and makes it sound like you think all men are idiotic sex-crazed gorillas.

I've been emotionally close to quite a few girls, but I'm still a virgin. And looking back, I would not have it any other way! I've never wanted to "****" a girl when just hugging her or something, that's ridiculous. If anything, I've felt closer as a friend to girls because I don't have the uncontrollable urge to do that.

Maybe a couple of the posters here can't contain their sexuality (or are too immature to do so) whenever in close proximity with someone, but I think the majority of men find cuddling just as fulfilling as women do without the need to use their genitalia

Or perhaps I'm just a weirdo exception and my brain will migrate to my penis over the next 10 years or so.

 

[Sci-Fi]

What?

I had plenty of female friends who I never thought of having sex with. Some I knew since I was a little kid so they were more like sisters. Some I just weren't sexually attracted to. It's not unusual to have a friend of the opposite sex without there being anything sexual.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I have a close female friend who I have spent many an evening cuddled up on the couch with, she comes round for tea, I look after her dog she drops in on her way home from work 2 or 3 nights a week. She is single though and has no desire to be anything else. This is not a fob off as she has penty of attention but just prefers the odd fling once in a while and says she she is too busy for a relationship. We did have a few drunk snogs a few years ago and woke up next to each other but never slept together.

I must admit it is odd, she is very pretty and we have spent a lot of time together and part of me does think about being something more when she is not around but when she is it doesn't seem to be something I try and pursue, its not in the atmosphere. I like her company and don't want to lose it so I'm happy as she is to keep it friendly. Its suprising she isnt more on my mind than she is I guess, but next time we get drunk though I will still probably try it on, I know I will

Actually I said to her the other day, the way we are at the moment, its like going out with one of my ex's, she was around most of the time and effectionate too but ultimately just ended up having sex with other guys!

 

[Frito Bandito]

like going out with one of my ex's, she was around most of the time and effectionate too but ultimately just ended up having sex with other guys!

That's very common.

 

[Anten]

Well of course there will be a few men that enjoy getting cuddling with women without the thought of sex. I find it odd though and probably rare to not want to push further. This site as a whole are quick to jump down someones throat for generalizing, it really isn't that big of a deal. Then, thesolitaryman, you say only guys enjoy cuddling just as much as women. That is a generalization, whether it be positive or negative. Is this being knit picky, maybe but you also think I mean that hugging a girl means you instantly want to **** them because you can't control your manly urges. Usually this attraction happens long before that. Nothing comes off as an absolute but really more guys then not who cuddle with a girl thinks about having sex with them. Being in either category doesn't men you are bad or good. So no my post isn't stupid, it is a sentiment shared by many and among those many are a multitude of people with different ethics and morality.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Dislike.

 

[Anten]

Dislike.

Yay

Opinions are great until someone disagrees with you.

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Is my post bad because I portray men as lust driven beasts unable to be emotional past the throws of sex? If yes, you missed the point of my post.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

Dislike.

Yay

Opinions are great until someone disagrees with you.

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Is my post bad because I portray men as lust driven beasts unable to be emotional past the throws of sex? If yes, you missed the point of my post.

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I don't know where your reply came from, Anten. My post was in response to the OP and had nothing to do with what you have said.

 

[Anten]

Dislike.

Yay

Opinions are great until someone disagrees with you.

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Is my post bad because I portray men as lust driven beasts unable to be emotional past the throws of sex? If yes, you missed the point of my post.

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I don't know where your reply came from, Anten. My post was in response to the OP and had nothing to do with what you have said.

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Ok, my bad kinda hard to know who your were replying to. all though most of it was directed at the posters who gave me a negative response, as a whole.

 

[passage]

I dont know why nobody has mentioned it yet, or maybe I just didn't read it, but I'm sure most men and women when cuddling/kissing have sex on their minds,, and both want it (check for a tent in the pants, and some wetness around the crotch). Whether or not they do it, is up to them (or usually one of the two). There are of course exceptions, but I'm very sure that at least one party wants to go further. Usually one just likes the validation and attention (I've done that one before, so I know and I wasn't really attracted to the girl) Wouldn't work for me, only cuddling, sex+cuddling is perfectly fine though.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

So no my post isn't stupid, it is a sentiment shared by many and among those many are a multitude of people with different ethics and morality.

Sorry if I came across harsh in my response. I generally agree with your posts too!

It's just the way I read it, it sounded very much like you were saying "Girls, any guy that cuddles with you covertly wants to have sex with you. Wise up, lolz." In fact, it sounded exactly like that.

Which is not true in my opinion, simple as.

Yes, people perhaps have casual sex and stuff like that, but I'd say the majority of the time, a situation in which a girl and a guy are friendly with each other and cuddling doesn't neccessarily have any sexual element to it. It's what you make it.

I just oppose this notion that guys are horny all the time and are constantly looking for sex, that's all. It seems more and more prevalent lately (especially as a sort of "bro culture") and I'm getting really tired of it.

Though as I said, perhaps I'm just weird. I feel really comfortable being non-sexual/cuddly with girls, but I'd not feel very comfortable with the idea of being overtly sexual with a girl, even if I find her very attractive.

 

[Frito Bandito]

Sometimes I like to stop on the way home from work and pick up a deluxe pizza from the local pizzeria. I take it home and open the box. It is so fresh. Piping hot. Smells delicious. All those quality ingredients. That delectable sauce! Perfect crust that is golden brown with just the right amount of seasoning, crispiness, and chewiness. Oh goodness and that CHEESE!!!!!

Then, here is what I do:

I pull out a couple really large pieces. I smell them. I put them on a plate. I hold onto them. Put them near my lips.

But I don't eat them. What? Eating is overrated.

 

[The Good Citizen]

It depends on the situation though, if you're attracted to a girl and you feel its mutual but you're happy to settle for just cuddling and not doing anything about it for what ever reason then that would be a bit lame in my oppinion and prossibly a bit selfish (on either part) as it could be seen as leading each other on.

If its a friend and you know they are not attracted to you then still having a a close friend who you can be physically close to at times is something worth keeping without ruining it by trying it on when its never going to happen just because you feel you should as you're a bloke and 'thats what blokes do'.

In my situation, I assume there is at least a basic phyiscal attraction toward me as there was a couple of years ago (in so much as I don't repulse her) however she does not want a relationship with anyone and she knows I am looking for one. I think she would have been open to a fling at one point as would I but if something happened now, I would get far more hung up on her and want more which she doesn't want and it would ruin our friendship. I'm happy to keep my attraction to her as a basic one rather than develop deeper feeligns for her and if I slept with her that would probably happen. So rather than losing a good friend for a one night stand I'll just take the nights on the couch in the meantime.

Stop putting idea's in my head, I like Pizza as much as the next man!

To be honest every siutation between 2 people is different, which renders 99% of the general discussion on what blokes want or what women think on this board largely window dressing around the real issue at hand.

 

[Anten]

@ TheSolitaryMan
Yeah, I was mostly speaking from my experiences though and a alternate male view as I can't give a proper female view. I actaully never cuddled with a girl maybe because I think 2 of my friend(girls) thought it was a bad idea.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Sometimes I like to stop on the way home from work and pick up a deluxe pizza from the local pizzeria. I take it home and open the box. It is so fresh. Piping hot. Smells delicious. All those quality ingredients. That delectable sauce! Perfect crust that is golden brown with just the right amount of seasoning, crispiness, and chewiness. Oh goodness and that CHEESE!!!!!

Then, here is what I do:

I pull out a couple really large pieces. I smell them. I put them on a plate. I hold onto them. Put them near my lips.

But I don't eat them. What? Eating is overrated.

I know what you're saying Frito, but your example is flawed since the act of eating the pizza is different to various people.

I can appreciate the beautiful appearance, fine aroma and pleasant physicality of a pizza without having to clumsily stuff the whole thing into my mouth at the first opportunity

To me, "eating the pizza" is the equivalent to just being comfortable around a girl. The holy grail of pizza would be some gentle snuggling. Special extra sauce would be sex.

(I'm a virgin, so that might influence my outlook, but I don't think so. I just think women have so much more to offer than just sex, you know? I'm sure most guys think that.)