Frustrated and desperate

[Iversion]

I m 30 and desparately want to get married. I dream about family almost all the time.I'm afriad my dream will remain a dream. I don't know what steps i should take to meet marriage minded men and where/how to meet them. Any advice?

 

[jzinsky]

O.O

You're having difficulty finding men? Excuse me for a minute *goes off to check breath and comb hair*

Hi there!

On a more serious note, are you specifying marriage minded men in your "hunt" as it were? I mean I'll happily get married to someone I love but I do smell a potential of crazy in there (not saying there is!) so maybe just change those parameters a little huh? Why not look for a "genuine, honest" man instead? There's plenty of us out there (there's plenty of us on this site!) and after a while of getting to know each other and falling in love THEN break out the marriage.

Would also be a good idea to put your location at least on your profile too. Then after participating here a bit more and becoming a bit more known why not stick a new thread up asking for a date? I bet you'll get more than one response from a man!

Just as a thought, you say you dream of having a family. Is this connected to being married? I mean you can have a family wiithout being married these days or do you want that big day in the white dress just as much as the patter of tiny feet?

 

[blacksmith205]

Having been marries once before, I can tell you a marriage is no different than running a business. So many want the wedding and live for that day and not for the decades aftrrwards (that are more important). What you need is a good man who's husband material. Children should not be a criteria. I can't have any, so many women pass me by for a scuz bucket who can knock her up. Then cry and complain because they want a good man like me... nevermind I'm the only one like me! Lifetime of happiness and no kids or a miserable lying cheating p.o.s. and some kids? You're choice.

 

[Tiina63]

I feel the same way as you do about wanting to get married (tho am too old now for children.) Could you try online dating and say in your profile that you are looking for a long term relationship and marriage? I know that some people might say that this will put some men off, but it won't put off those who are looking for the same.

 

[jzinsky]

That's a good idea. I'm on a lot of them and I feel that those that say they're into fun and casual dating are after a nice night, sex and onto the next guy. If you're looking for a long term relationship, well some men don't want to mess around they want to find The One

 

[blackdot]

Could you try online dating and say in your profile that you are looking for a long term relationship and marriage?

Most women on dating sites at least around here already say that in their profile. Unfortunately I find that they don't like stable-minded men.

 

[Regumika]

the society is indeed moving farther and farther away from 'marriage' and emphasizing more on 'quality relationship'.

however, those that choose to want to be married have their own reasons to. Sure you might say that a piece of paper does not mean anything, but the real thing might be that they just dont want the attachment. For a lack of better word "scapegoat" comes to mind. without legal marriage a person can just dip out when something isnt to their liking.

being legally married you show that you are not focused on "what if something bad happens i can just escape" because.. for those of us who had bad marriages know how difficult divorce is.. and.. why would you get married just to get out of it?

wanting to be married is wanting someone that is willing to commit, it really doesnt have to do with the wedding.

 

[DeadSun]

I m 30 and desparately want to get married.

Hey, right here baby.
My only stipulation is it has to be in Vegas so if you leave me I can listen to that one Theory Of A Deadman song and cry.

 

[Iversion]

jzinsky - Thank you for putting the words genuine, honest in my mind. You are right and that is what I should be looking for. It is easy to get side tracked of what we want when we are desperate. It leads to craziness - may be my next stage, Not sure. Appreciate your thoughts and I will start making some small changes.

blacksmith205 - Thank you. I appreciate your words - "What you need is a good man who's husband material.", which is very true. I think I set my parameters high. I was so looking forward for marriage and the special person that I completed missed out the idea of "marriage".

Tiina63 and blackdot - I always hopped that someone would be my friend and then like me which leads to a relationship. Yes, I did try out the online dating, but no luck. Few sites ask you 200+ questions and few sites are not genuine.

Regumika - I surely want a quality relationship marriage. I want a happy family (not on paper for sure, actually never thought of paper or separation)

 

[xaero]

Hi there . All great advice so far. Definitely find someone who is your friend and cares about you and respects you for who you are. Be very weary of men that take advantage of women who are desperate to get married and start a family. Good luck!