Funny Memories & Inside Jokes Thread

[NoxApex(N/A)]

This section needs more positivity.
Do you have any funny memories or inside jokes with your current or past relationships?
Post them here.

I'll start.

I dated a dancer once a while back.
After a night of drinking and movies at her place, the next morning we got woken up by my sister calling to ask if I could pick up a box of pancake mix on the way home.
It was late morning, roughly 11:30-ish A.M., we were both hung over, so we decided to go to the local Publix ( grocery store in the Southeast) because usually they have free complimentary coffee in the morning for early morning shoppers.
We got there a little late, and as we're walking up to the coffee I noticed a sign on it.

"The sign says it's out of service," I said.
My ex, with her head on my shoulder, groggily replies:
"Service!? I don't do free service! You have to throw $1's at me like everyone else."



She was funny.
Part of why I was with her was because of the off the cuff funny crap she'd say.

 

[user 139760]

Well, one thing that stuck with my ex, which I got bugged with nonstop, was that had a tendency to tell a story and that it happened "three or four years ago" lol. Since then I've changed it to "some years ago", because time is relative .
I'm also somewhat devilish. I'd been dating one if my ex's some months, she was this short, chubby girl that wS very well endowed lol. She made the mistake of wearing a white t-shirt when we were at La Ronde, a six flags amusement park. So we're talking and I consciouly, without her noticing, lead her up on a small bridge that goes over a ride similar to splash mountain. I lean on the bridge nonchalantly waiting for the splash. Just before the wave hit, I point behind her and say "Hey, look!". Completely drenched lol. Me too, but I regret nothing

 

[sub5male]

My entire so called "dating" life has been a huge joke, though not one which I find funny in the least having been the butt of the joke and unlike Richard, I regret pretty much everything.

 

[TheRealCallie]

AND....back on topic.

This one time, at band camp......
Just kidding, I never went to band camp.


I'm sure I have some, let me think on it a little to find a good one.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't have any relationship stories, as I've never had a relationship, but I do have friendship stories.

One time while I was hanging out with my friends around 2011 or 2012 or so, back in the stoner days, we had just smoked and starting to get really hungry. So my friend decides to go get a loaf of raisin bread. Anyway, in my fried state of mind, I see my friend moving towards me with the bread at a seemingly slow and steady, measured pace straight at me, and I get the feeling that he's moving like a Koopa from Mario.

I also decide that in our slowed down condition, it would be a perfect opportunity to get the feel for how martial arts work. I could do it in slow motion, and really get the hang of it. I think to myself, block the blow, follow through with a punch. It's easy! What could possibly go wrong?

He comes at me with the bread in that slow and steady Koopa pace, and when he gets into range I strike - first blocking the "blow", the bread coming at me, then following through with a punch.

It turns out I'm moving way faster than I thought, because when I "block the blow" suddenly sweeping my left arm up in a kind of "wax on, wax off" motion to knock the loaf of bread out of his hands, and flying straight up into the ceiling of my friend's garage with a loud "THUD!"

I can't remember if I followed up with a punch or not. But from that moment on, loaves of raisin bread were referred to as "Mario Bread".

Wah-hah!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, so back in the first couple of years of living where I do now, my ex was still here. He brought some stuff home for work that he had to put out by the barn. I told him don't do it now, you're going to get stuck (this was back when we actually got snow here). So he, of course says "no I won't".

Well, he made it out to the barn and unloaded the stuff.....only to find that without the extra weight....yes, he was stuck. No big deal, I'll call someone to pull me out. So that guy gets back there........he gets stuck too.

So, he calls yet another friend to pull them both out....oh yeah, he gets stuck too.

So he finally decides to call the right friend, who got here and found it absolutely hilarious and we're standing there laughing at all three of them. He successfully pulled everyone out without getting stuck.

I still give him **** about it. It was hilarious.

 

[Unsigned]

So about 30 years ago for work, we had scheduled a few of days in another city to do a "disaster recovery" test at a very well known DR facility on the East Coast. Two funny things I remember from the last trip there. I have more, but will stick with these two.

1) after the first night, our tech lead at the time was leaving (as he would set up the configurations, he only needed to stay one day). He was a great guy, but was very dirty ad had BO. And he used to always wear a long johns shirt under his button down shirt, and the sleeves of the long johns would stick out...with dirt rings around them. So that morning him, my buddy and me were going to go to breakfast. He was there before us, and he was standing with his packed bags when we got off the elevator. I said to my friend "Jesus, he looks like BO Plenty standing there waiting for the bus!". That was it. My friend cracked up and couldn't stop laughing the whole breakfast. We made up some BS story to tell the other guy "what was so funny".

2) On that same trip, the department head came down for the last day. When we were done, he said "I'm taking you guys out to lunch".
So he took us to some mid level chinese place. It was OK. At the end of lunch, he gos to grab the check, and then starts looking around.
After a few awkward seconds he said...."hey guys...uh...I don't have my credit card...could one of you pick it up...I'll see that you get reimbursed...". So we took the check from him. For the next YEAR we reenacted that scene for anyone who would listen! If you remember the scene from "The Honeymooners" where Ralph and the other guy keep trying to take/pass the check, it was just like that..."Oh no Ralph...I'll take that check!!!".

Work used to be a lot more fun...back in the "old days"...

 

[user 139760]

AND....back on topic.

This one time, at band camp......
Just kidding, I never went to band camp.


I'm sure I have some, let me think on it a little to find a good one.

Damn. Here I was all hyped up for a band camp story.

 

[Abstamyous]

In a past "connection", we put Gouda and Buddha together for Guddha. I wish I could remember the conversation itself, but I smile whenever that word comes to my mind.

My current is just a goof in general. There's something new daily. He had me confused one day, when he would reply with "you" after I would say "we". My youngest son laughed uncontrollably each time. Took a but for me to realize he was meaning Wii U lol. There's so many examples of just small and silly things like that, which really make me joyful (when I finally figure them out). He's also a compulsive dad joke teller, and I have a great groan lol.