Well, 2013 has truly been a crazy year for me. After a lifetime of never having a girlfriend, not to mention never getting truly laid(previously my sole source of sex was by paying for it, if u know what i mean), I have in the course of 6 months plowed through 3 girlfriends who I had normal consensual sex with.
And I can tell you, having a gf and all that is truly overrated. It's really more trouble than it's worth. First one was a *removed* one, second was a psycho, and this third and current one is beautiful but too bothersome. Sometimes she comes to my home and we're having a great time having sex, and then when she returns home to her husband(she's a married *removed*), she texts me that we should break up, that it isn't right yada yada yada. Rinse and repeat.
In the past, I thought once I would *LINK REMOVED*get properly laid, it would be a life-changer for me. I thought I would be confident, that I would no longer be depressed. Once upon a time I set a goal for myself that I would be loved by an east asian woman(I know, Yellow Fever. But I myself am of Central Asian origin. I currently live in China)
But here I am, still the depressed insecure guy that I always used to be. I've now finally gotten a taste of what it's like to have a gf, to go out and hold hands, to kiss a girl. And aside from the first time I did it, it all feels so mudane. In fact, it's worse now. I have to put up with my gf's constant back and forth of loving me and rejecting. Some days she wants to break up, sometimes she never want me to leave her. I'm just feeling tired of all this. Really, I feel no difference in my state of mind. I still have no confidence, I still have this lingering depression
I really just wanna go home and have a break, and see my mother. I consider her the only family I have because I am estranged with my brother and father