Glass half full/empty

[TheRealCallie]

Just because it's part of human nature to act irrational/disproportional doesn't make it okay or justified or healthy etc.

Sure, if you cry all day, every day over nothing at all, it's unhealthy. But most people don't do that so they don't require justification.

What if you can't steal (because of security measures and lack of criminal talent), dumpster dive (because someone else already did it, leaving nothing behind), beg (because the begging scene is controlled by the mafia and because you don't look like the stereotype people expect), ask for help (because you live in a hostile environment which makes your life even worse just for asking), don't have the equipment nor the license (nor the money for the license) nor the ability (thanks to disability) to entertain people on the streets, can't crash a party (thanks to security)? And all those things being the result of circumstances which you can't control and you can't escape?

You know, if people put half the amount of energy into finding solutions instead of excuses, the world would be much better off.

It's not selfish but the results of this philosophy are similar to being selfish when it comes to interaction with others. I consider simple selfishness to be more healthy that because selfish people can still do something for themselves while solipsists even struggle doing that...

I am aware of what the word means. But it boils down to selfishness and ego. I'm far from selfish and I don't have an ego. I don't think I'm right all the time. I think I can give advice on my own beliefs and opinions the same as anyone else and don't deserve people telling me my perspective/opinion/belief is wrong. So if you want to talk about solipsism, maybe you should talk to yourself.

Justification and excuse are two different things

In today's world, excuses are justification because no one seems to take self-accountability anymore.

 

[Hermit]

You know, if people put half the amount of energy into finding solutions instead of excuses, the world would be much better off.

That's what I meant with "similar to selfishness". No empathy, no understanding, no ability to look at something from more than one perspective (which is based on solipsism). It's like blaming patients dying from terminal cancer for not wanting to live, for not fighting ("It's all in your mind!"). I've met many people like you in the past.

The difference to selfishness is that you suffer yourself from your own ignorance and blindness because you can't do anything for yourself either. That's why selfishness is better in comparison. You can't admit that you have no control over something you're suffering from and are therefore not able to ask for help nor make anything out of what people give you. You need to believe that you are responsible for everything no matter what because it gives you a (false) sense of control to hide your fears and insecurity from yourself. Core toxic positivity.

 

[Hermit]

Sure, if you cry all day, every day over nothing at all, it's unhealthy. But most people don't do that so they don't require justification.

You don't know any young people, don't you? All you need to do is to watch them not getting enough likes on TikTok or not having access to a smartphone for one minute...

 

[TheRealCallie]

That's what I meant with "similar to selfishness". No empathy, no understanding, no ability to look at something from more than one perspective (which is based on solipsism). It's like blaming patients dying from terminal cancer for not wanting to live, for not fighting ("It's all in your mind!"). I've met many people like you in the past.

The difference to selfishness is that you suffer yourself from your own ignorance and blindness because you can't do anything for yourself either. That's why selfishness is better in comparison. You can't admit that you have no control over something you're suffering from and are therefore not able to ask for help nor make anything out of what people give you. You need to believe that you are responsible for everything no matter what because it gives you a (false) sense of control to hide your fears and insecurity from yourself. Core toxic positivity.

Wow, now I'm ignorant, as well. You read what I post on ONE thread, completely misinterpret what I say to benefit yourself and attack me for it. You try to analyze me when you don't know the first thing about me or what I do and just assume absolutely everything about me.

You don't know any young people, don't you? All you need to do is to watch them not getting enough likes on TikTok or not having access to a smartphone for one minute...

Nope, I don't know any young people at all. I live on an island with only an older population. It's crazy. I wasn't even young myself. I was just born old.

 

[okidoke]

Sounds to me like you have it all worked out then Hermit. You obviously don't need any of us helping you out.

 

[Sunless Sky]

You don't know any young people, don't you? All you need to do is to watch them not getting enough likes on TikTok or not having access to a smartphone for one minute...

You know, I work with young people and most of them don't behave like this. Could be an American thing. Is that who you ate referring to?

 

[Hermit]

Wow, now I'm ignorant, as well. You read what I post on ONE thread, completely misinterpret what I say to benefit yourself and attack me for it.

I've actually read more of your comments. The solipsism pattern is constant. Though I didn't attack you in any way, I only pointed at the sky and said it's blue. But if you choose to perceive this as an attack, that's your problem, not mine.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You know, I work with young people and most of them don't behave like this. Could be an American thing. Is that who you ate referring to?

It's not an American thing. Outside of toddlers who haven't learned to control their honeysuckle yet, the only people I've seen do that are people with issues like autism and the like. But I hear I'm pretty ignorant and I don't know any young people, so I'm probably talking out my ass.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I've actually read more of your comments. The solipsism pattern is constant. Though I didn't attack you in any way, I only pointed at the sky and said it's blue. But if you choose to perceive this as an attack, that's your problem, not mine.

Don't like what I say? You have a choice, either don't read it or use the ignore feature so you don't have to see my posts. It's quite simple.

 

[Hermit]

Sounds to me like you have it all worked out then Hermit. You obviously don't need any of us helping you out.

Those who want to help can't, those who can don't want to anyway.

 

[Hermit]

You know, I work with young people and most of them don't behave like this. Could be an American thing. Is that who you ate referring to?

I'm not American nor in the US, I'm on the other side of the pond.

 

[Hermit]

Don't like what I say? You have a choice, either don't read it or use the ignore feature so you don't have to see my posts. It's quite simple.

So do you. If you feel attacked, just block me like you block everything else with your solipsism. Easy as a pie.

 

[okidoke]

Those who want to help can't, those who can don't want to anyway.

we’ve all got problems, some worse than others. being confrontational or judgemental doesn’t benefit anyone.

 

[Hermit]

being confrontational or judgemental doesn’t benefit anyone.

It's up to you to choose if you perceive anything as confrontational or judgemental. Right?

 

[kaetic]

It's up to you to choose if you perceive anything as confrontational or judgemental. Right?

I think it matters more what the admin/mods "perceive" from these posts. Do you feel that you said anything insulting? And then maybe just kept digging? Not really a question I care to read the answer to.




Can we get this back on track for the OP?

 

[kaetic]

This is something that I ask myself on a constant basis. Do my issues even count as real problems? Or am I just complaining over nothing?

You see, I don't have any addictions, no severe domestic issues with family, no massive trauma, and no developmental problems, etc...

And, while I am no casanova, I don't struggle with talking to girls. True, I don't initiate conversations and tend to let it happen organically but, I don't have unrealistic expectations or desires when talking to them. I did have some unhealthy relationships though.

I am mildly bipolar but I take medication so the symptoms are mostly managed. I can be a bit socially awkward sometimes, I struggle with loneliness and stress from catastrophising thinking. I also used to have anger issues buy I've mostly dealt with that. Haven't been angry for more than a decade now due, in part, to sports and even video games and music which can act as energy outlets.

The only somewhat real problem that I think I have is my anxiety which does tend to be debilitating at times if I let it.

Anyway, felt like sharing that since I do ask myself this question whenever I hear stories from people with real problems.

(Edit) Forgot to ask my question. Is it all a matter of perspective?

Anxiety is pretty horrible. It could be affecting the way you are seeing your situation. The "catastrophising" I mean. That could be a part of your bipolar disorder too.

But yeah this is really a matter of perspective. As useless as doctors seem to be these days, they still ask if your symptoms are affecting your quality of life. So, if you feel they are... Then they are real problems for you, regardless of what some one else's opinion is.

 

[Hermit]

But yeah this is really a matter of perspective. As useless as doctors seem to be these days, they still ask if your symptoms are affecting your quality of life.

If you have the luck (and money) for a really good doctor...

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you have the luck (and money) for a really good doctor...

Not in America. It's required for them to ask at every appointment. They have a form you have to fill out.

 

[Hermit]

Not in America. It's required for them to ask at every appointment. They have a form you have to fill out.

That is actually interesting. I wished we had that here as well.

 

[kaetic]

If you have the luck (and money) for a really good doctor...

Well, I meant this for more than medical or psychological issues...

example: my car is broken (it's not really but I probably jinxed myself with this...)

how does that effect me?: If I live close to my job, a grocery store, necessities and people I know... probably not a big negative impact on my life... If I live in a rural area where I have to drive for everything, probably affects me a lot more negatively then...

It's basically a set standard they have to follow to ask these questions here, (depression screenings) still depends on you telling the truth... and doesn't really help much even if you do, from experience. I live in a small town in Ohio, I'd have to drive 4 hours to even hope to find a "good" doctor.