ainulindale
New member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2012
- Messages
- 4
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Why do I have any interest in people any more? For years I avoided others because I could--I didn't need them. I was happy by myself, alone and strange. I'm an adrenaline junkie--I skydive/BASE jump and ride a sportbike. I have an unfortunately addictive personality. People don't like me. I try but I get the same results each time--I just don't connect with them very well. It's like the whole world just wants to use you for whatever emotional need strikes them at any given moment in time. No one wants to have a deeper, closer relationship. I don't feel like I have a single soul in this world anymore. I'm always excluded from everything and I hate it. It's like: when I finally open up, when I finally have allowed myself to become part of another's world, I just get shut down as usual. No one cares...so why should I? I don't need someone to give a random self-esteem jump start...I need things to change--basically, I need an act of God. Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just need to tell someone.