Alright my man. lets see if this helps you out!
"How do girls "look friendly"? The only way you can tell (besides already having interacted with them) is from watching them interact with others. There's no problem in starting a conversation with a girl(s) (who you're not specifically interested in) if you're in a group setting at work for instance or sitting beside one in class, but in my opinion, APPROACHING a girl, (who you're not specifically interested in), just to 'get used to talking with girls' connotes the risk of her interpreting such an advance in a fashion contrary to your original intention. If you just have a question to ask then it's a different story.. "
Are they smiling? Laughing? or are they Scowling? Do they seemed pissed? If you are at a party, for example (I am not really a party kind of guy and I think alot of folks here aren't as well, but lets just use this as an example) and you see a cute girl...she is smiling and laughs as she talks to folks. Then to me that is someone that 'looks' friendly. I would wait til she is alone (like going to get a drink/food) and then would kinda do the same and maybe say 'Hi! You know, I just wanted to see that you have a lovely smile.'. Now, this is not the way I usually approach someone...but i have freinds that do this and it works fine for them...some are good looking, others are not.
as far the other things you said...if they talk to you then its a win anyway! Just get used to talking to people! If you talk to someone it does not mean you have to date them! However, if you do talk to someone you don't want to date, and then they seem interested in you...then all that does is build up your own confidence!
i couldn't agree more...!
and well - you might get a good friend for your efforts
"That's the thing, I'm worried about timing. Ask out too early and they'll probably look at you and say "Um.. I don't really know you that well.." .. or something like that. Ask out too late (by the time you're in the friendzone) and yeah.. it'll be really awkward. Sometimes it's also hard to tell whether a girl is single or not, even if you've known her for some time. Some just don't like to lead others on and it's usually inappropriate to directly ask someone if their single. There are ways around it but those are tricky.."
You know, you will always run the risk of this. Timing is a variable in your success. And honestly, many times it is a variable that is unknown to you. You have no idea if it is the right time sometimes. You just have to do it. If the timing is wrong, then bam. You get one of those answers. This is something that you just have to learn as you do it. It all depends on the girl and you.
To me, the key is not what the answer is, but how YOU react to it. For example, if you ask a girl out too soon and you get the first answer...then just be cool about it! If you, for example, get mopey and hold your head down...then it will probably be awkward for both of youguys. However, you are like 'Doh! shot down a gain...but at least I was shot down by a very pretty girl' to her and then just walk on...you will be fine
Or maybe a 'oh...im' sorry. I hope I didn't make you feel awkward?' if it is someone you see alot, then just be friendly with them. Be nice to them. They may come around, they may not...but at least you won't have that awkwardness.
again - spot on, imho.
i think that your attitude when things DON'T go the way you wanted show more about you than the things you do when all is well.
if you keep a cool and friendly attitude when you have asked in a wrong time will only show her you are confident in yourself, and that she can trust you.
this way - if you ask too early - you'll be able to get her to know you better, and if you ask too late - you'll get her to maybe think it over, and well - you will at least keep her as a friend.
As far as the whole friendzone thing...I can write a whole post about that! All i will say is that most of the woman I have dated I was in their 'friendzone' first. Being in the friendzone is a good thing. It does not mean you are out of play.
I have asked a gril out that I was in their friendzone...and it actually turned out pretty bad. But that is something that I had to live and learn through. It stung, but I got through it and am a better man because of it.
"1. Concerning the notion of the "friendzone", how long, from your experience at least, does it take for a guy to wind in a woman's friendzone? Does happen immediately sometimes i.e. Could she just size him up the first time she sees him and place him mentally in that category from the start? How can you tell if you've been acquinted with a girl too long to suddenly ask her out?"
lots of reasons you end up here. It could be she likes you, but is not attracted to you. Could be that she is seeing someone but would not mind seeing you if they broke up, could be that she just wants to be your friend, etc...
Friendzone is not a 'no date' zone. It does not mean you will never be able to get with that girl. In my opinion it is a great way to really learn things about her. I have had 'friends' that I 'practice dated' with. And then bam...we dated for real cause it was so much fun!
When you are in the friendzone and want to date her, my best advice is to take this time to better yourself. Gain confidence in yourself. Treat her with respect and kindness, and then be honest! Tell her how you feel. It is ok if she tells you no...you will still be friends. Sometimes,though, as you better yourself you may suddenly find that it is her that may be like 'hey, you want to catch a movie tonight?'
"2. Is it important and how so is it to mix things up for each consecutive date you go on with a girl (in terms of where you go and what you do I mean) ? Also what if you aren't aware of a lot things you could do off the top of your head and you want to ask someone out right at that exact moment? i.e you don't know many places, or cheap ones, etc."
Dating is a whole new game! I may have to post on that...but honestly I am not always the best date! I have lots of first dates, but not that many seconds! Yeah, to me it is important to mix it up...just don't put any pressure on yourself. Do things that you know she likes to do. A good date is a movie and dinner...not a dinner and a movie. Go watch the movie first, then at dinner you can talk about it! you don't really have to try and impress her with your dates...what you are really trying to accomplish here is having fun on them. If you do, then she will associate having fun with you...and that is a good thing!
Hope this helps!
