Has anyone ever had bullies at work?

[burial]

It's unfortunate that people feel the need to revert back to highschool caste systems within the workplace. Like, works sucks as it is, and then this ******* just feels the need to make it worse.

I'm convinced that most bullies have mental issues, anyway. What other possible reason could there be for someone inexplicably targeting individuals with malice, or exhibiting bipolar changes in attitude, ranging from treating the person with kindness, to treating them as an enemy. It literally makes no sense.

They are compensating for something, surely. So they play the alpha, and then they have their cowardly colleagues suck up to them, play along, join in on mocking the targeted individual because they want to garnish some of the "power" while simultaneously deflecting the bully's attention away from themselves.

I hate humans.

As for the OP, if I were you, I'd probably just leave. Confronting the woman yourself could result in making it worse, as bullies don't like to be challenged. So if she's already in a position of power, and her friends in family work in management, then she's already got this whole thing swaying in her favor if you tried to do anything about it. It's incredibly unfortunate.

 

[Lacrecia]

I'm convinced that most bullies have mental issues, anyway. 

Some bullies are being bullied themselves. lol those are the ones who never win

 

[MissLonely79]

I bumped into 2 former colleagues and 1 of them was a popular, extroverted female that indirectly bullied me at work. When I worked with her, I overheard her badmouthing me to others, telling them that I'm weird, that I should be doing more etc. That's a real hoot because I worked more hours than anyone else and my manager constantly praised me for my work as well as my other colleagues. Any events that occured post-work were arranged by her and I was always purposely excluded. 

When I left my old workplace, I felt that I left on a positive note. Although I didn't have "friends" from work, people respected me for my strong work ethic, knowledge and they praised me for my contributions.

Fast-forward several years, I bumped into this person at my new workplace...found out we work in the same building. She was very chilly, had negative body language, looked angry while I tried to be friendly and smiled at her. She was with another colleague that I used to talk to all of the time and that colleague was just as equally chilly and pretended not to see me at first.

I found out from small talk that they work at the unit that I hope to get a job at one day. 

I can't help but feel nervous for the future if I want to advance and pursue that job that I would be ostracized again like I was at my old workplace. She has friends and family in management and is popular. When I worked with her, I overheard her a lot (she talks loudly) and it was always badmouthing her friends or people. She's also the type of person to pursue "vengeance" and is quite catty from the conversations that I've overheard. All she ever talks about is people, and everyone is so interested to listen! I can't help but feel that she must have been talking lots about me since I left the job and for my once-friendly colleague to blatantly ignore me all of a sudden.

I really hope I don't run into any more former colleagues because they don't truly know me, but it seems that she's friends with many of them. I notice in female friendships, if 1 person doesn't like another...they will spread rumours, gossip, lies about that other person and try to get everyone to turn against them. Those "followers" often lack an independent mind of their own to think..."Why don't I ask this other person if she truly said that?" "Why don't I get to know that other person?" "Is this information true?" etc. Then they just end up hating and being mean to someone that they don't even know. I speak from personal experience as a SURVIVOR of countless years of bullying.

I'm just not sure what to think. I really want the job, but I feel nervous about potentially walking in and strangers hating me from the first impression or having to relive being ostracized and badmouthed. Another thing is that it's much higher position than the one that I have and I feel that it's unfair that mean people are rewarded and surrounded by friends. I am a good person but I can't seem to find anyone that reaches back when I reach out...

Wow, that really sucks and you must have really bad luck for this woman to keep reappearing in your life. At least I never had to see my work bullies again (fingers crossed that I will never have to) . I really don't have any advice on what to do but I don't blame you at all for wanting to be very far away from her. I'd feel the exact same way. Anyway, I will be wishing you nothing but good luck with this situation , my heart goes out to you.