Hate my life, feel worthless, like a failure, hard to stay positive?? :(

[SophiaGrace]

I'm making a lot of effort to get further so I can gain the independence to drive on my own.

This is good! Keep going!

Also, I remember you saying that places you apply don't call you back. You say it's competitive. Why don't you call them back? Show them how much you do want that job! It might set you apart from the other candidates.

Also, don't be ashamed of your physique. Just because you aren't ripped, it isn't the end of the world.

You really do seem to keep trying and trying. I admire you for that. Also, I would think it would be demoralizing to be unable to keep to goals. However, I think you have attained some, like reducing your gaming.

Just don't give up. If you give up, then there is not going to be any forward movement.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Some people can't just "be" happy. It doesn't work that way. Surroundings and material possessions can't even make some happy. It's in their own mind. Even having someone relationship wise can't help some people. And having someone tell you to be positive, or to be happy, won't work either for the most part.

 

[Blue Bob]

nzrusski,
Welcome to the forum. I know about being skinny. I’m middle aged now and no longer skinny, but I was skinny when I was in my late teens and all through my twenties. I used to eat all kinds of crap trying to gain weight, but it never worked. I’d suggest you get physically fit and be what is known as wiry. Wiry is being slender yet strong and muscular.
When I was 17, and not knowing what to do with myself, I joined the Marine Corps. Most of the Marines were wiry. Probably because they didn’t feed us much and worked us hard. I found that having massive muscles wasn’t as important as how I handled myself. Quickly getting where I needed to be and doing what was needed. Being wiry was an asset as a Marine.
I suggest you try running or biking instead of the gym. It’ll make you strong, give you endurance, and make you feel better. You can excel at it because you are slender. Run, run hard, run harder, and you’ll be glad you’re thin and strong.

 

[Lonely_girl]

Wow Victor reading your story is very similer to reading my own life too! Very much all the same! But Iam 28 now and I have tried so many things to change but always end up back to square one, going in circles like you explained. so now I just lost all motivation in anything. I can relate to you. Your not alone. Keep hope

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hahahaaaaa....
And you thought ur family were the only people.
mom and dad fighting ..N sister to kepp the peace...somewhere alone the line you were lost in all of it.lol

anyway...rooting old beliefs and conditioning takes some time N effort
It dosnt completely go away..but over time u will recognize it as just old thinking patterns N behaviors and not run with it....
Happiness is an insoide job..you dont have to feel good all the time ..the diffrence is..you dont beat up urself or condemn yourself for making mistakes or not being perrfect...

Change ur thinking change ur life.
You are Free..know this.
No one is better than you..just all humans trying to figure the **** out just like you..

 

[nzrusski]

Hi Guys,

I went to see a doctor today for my depression, got prescribed with anti depressants, Prozac whatever its called, 1 capsule (20mg) daily. He said it sounds like I have a major depression disorder of some sort and need treatment, said he will introduce me into a 12 session program that combats depression at his clinic for free, first 6 sessions with a professional psychiatrist.

I started taking the medication today, when does it take affect?

 

[SophiaGrace]

It takes a few weeks up to a few months I think.

 

[NoMoreHope]

never give up, never give in -ME

Hope for the day you will feel the joy... Live your life as best as possible... happiness , joy and passion cannot exist without sadness grief and loneliness.. everyone is fighting something in this, i guess we both share this.. depression.. keep fighting. keep living... life is a massive ******* mystery.. no one can solve your own problems but yourself... people are here to suggest, advice, and help... but its ur life make something out of it... if you want something.. go get it... never get discouraged... its never too late.. it doesent matter if ur 40 or 15 or 60... the number is an illusion... do what you want to do... if you know what you want? why arent you doing it... take chances....!!! nothing in this life comes easy.. everything has risks.. its just the matter of you DOING IT!!!

JUST DO IT! -nike

Keep fighting brotha...

 

[PaperDuck87]

Hey Vic, forget those negative people and those who criticize you. You seem like a nice guy. It's good that you're venting and telling us your story. It's what can give us ideas on how to work with our lives as well as helping others. Life is one big learning process...we all have to learn to walk before we run. However, not all of us would get it all in one day...because we're all not perfect. Don't think for one second that the couple who pass you is perfect because you don't know what happens behind closed doors. This kind of thought should be easy on you...and should soften the hollowness you feel.

The people who criticize you offline and on here...they remind me of alot of people...especially those who think they are helping you. Telling you to shut the **** up, quit bitching, quit whining....it's not helping. As a matter of fact some of those people are bloody hypocrites...and they're one of us. They're miserable and lonely. Now I don't consider my advice to be some kind of trend or anything and I doubt anyone else here thinks that...but anytime you need help or advice or want to talk you can talk to me or some of the other friendly people here. I might have problems but I believe to help and to both understand and solve each other's problems are the best way mankind can ever make the world any better because to make the world better we have to help and work on ourselves and others...not just help others. The best way to survive in the world is to keep busy and do whatever it takes to find and do something fun, worthwhile, and meaningful to keep you sane and healthy. It is hard. I know...but you will always have us....this family [i consider everyone here a family since we're all going through the same thing ] to talk to about anything if that doesn't work.

 

[melniXofia]

So you also speak russian?
hey send me your email,i wanna talk to you,not a psycholog-a friend.
i know how that **** feels,i might passed even worser than you mate,tak shto email dai,pobaltayem.

 

[snow]

I probably won't be much help here, just wanted to comment that I feel the same way much of the time, was bullied in middle school, virgin until 19, very few friends...and so on. Things were good for a few years, and now I've regressed to my highschool self and now I'm 25...feel worthless and women avoid me like the plague. I'm back at my mom's house because I couldn't afford the place I was at. I've never tried to get prescribed medications...hopefully it works out for you. I have a male friend who is like that LGH person...always types in caps and says the same kind of garbage. Don't let her make you feel worse.

 

[Country Boy]

So, lgh, we are not supposed to talk about our problems or our feelings because to you its whining??? We are just supposed to lock it all inside, like nothing is there, till it explodes and ruins everything around us???? I thought thats what this site is for... And to a desperate person, like myself, your "advise" as you call it, might just cost them their life... All because you are so conceited you think you know everything there is to know about life... Welll, then why are you here? Why are you on this site if you are going to call everyone here a whine ass?? Thats the whole point of this site is to discuss your problems with fellow peers who feel the same way... to make it seem like we are not alone in this world... And people like you are the reason we feel alone. And if you dont want people getting in your buisness, then dont post your responses, keep them to yourself... That way you crumble and fall, and dont take everyone else with you...

 

[Remixxcanhelp]

It’s a point proven that every single day we face hardships, every day we think that were strong and that we can overcome everything. I’m not asking you to read this, you don’t have to… im not going tag anyone in this post either, because in life we have a choice, a decision to make. You can choose whether or not to read this to see if it benefits or makes your realize things that you’ve been avoiding all your life. These past couple of days or even weeks have been really life changing. We all know our weakness but what about our strong points? Everything just doesn’t seem to go the way you want, but see..whether you’re a non-believer or not God plays a key role in our lives. We sit there and pray to ourselves when we have no one else to turn to. No one knows the true reasons to why bad things happen…but the truth of the matter is we aren’t suppose to sit there and question it, we sit there and find nothing but a solution. In today’s society we begin to blame God for all of our problems you know? We sit there and ask why doesn’t he do something or why doesn’t he stop it. To tell you the truth I don’t know but have you ever stopped to think that maybe he asks us the same questions too? But think of it this way, shouldn’t it be all part of the plan that God has in store for us? We struggle to believe in him, but he will always believe in us.

Life is tough, it really is… but looking back…Doesn’t it seem like our richest times come out of the mist of our hardest? I know too many rhetorical questions may be stated but they are all true. Our lives become a journey, not to a path to a destination…but rather a transformation. Each and every one of us goes through life day by day but at some point in your life you ask “What do you want your life to be about?” in some point in our lives we just have to answer that question in our hearts. We all make mistakes, when is it that in our lives we realize them? Transformation is tough, and we may not end up where we always wanted to be but God himself will always believe in us, he fills our life with purpose and passion if we just let him. Don’t be afraid to take a chance and jump into a world where you don’t know what’s coming next. That’s the beauty of it, that world is our reality. The craziest trip… is that sometimes, the God of the Universe allows us to play some kind of part in changing the world. One day, we’ll understand why things happen in our lives. The truth is not for us to figure it out but for us to be prepared and to get ready for them. Just remember the day we realize our worst enemies become ourselves, that's when we realize the truth. I mean what’s the point of going through everything we do, if you’re not going to let it change you?

I'm not trying to change you to become more religious, I admit I'm not religious myself, but we make mistakes in our lives and we will never ever be alone, someone will be there even if you don’t want to be. God will always be there.
-remixxcanhelp

 

[Thrasymachus]

You are lucky you discover this is a problem early. Because of my experiences in school and high school I wanted to totally shut myself off from the world and I did do that for over a decade very successfully. I was supposed to graduate in 2000 and now nearly 11 years later I finally discovered recently I need to recover from my past mistakes and mentality, but I picked up so many bad habits for so long that it is very hard.

Some advice:
1) Do cardio. 20 min. of vigorous cardio per day will have lasting positive effects on mood up to 12 hrs later.
2) Starting lifting weights again. The program and advice in Starting Strength works. I used to be helluva skinny, 6'1 and 110 lbs. but I got up to 170 lb. in bodyweight in a few months. But I quit after my cat died, got depressed, and went vegetarian then vegan and lost lots of weight due to not working out and not eating as much for many months. If you are too skinny it is hard to have self confidence even around other guys as they can easily threaten and bully you.
3) Start meditating I would advise taking out a book by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche.
4) Work on your social skills. Try following the advice in the book How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less.
5) If there is a wooded area try to go there for walks, to meditate, to mountain bike, to hike, etc. Many trees release lots of natural chemcials and drugs that improve your mood. I felt real ****** today after waking up because it was birthday and I am still a failure in life at an advanced age. I couldn't even eat so I took food and walked to a local park and ate there. I felt much better afterward. I learned about this from the author, Diana Beresford-Kroeger.[/u]

Try to stay part-time at least a few months more and concentrate on these activities of self-improvement, because maybe after working full-time for someone already morose and depressed, you may find it hard to get motivated to do much other than zone out on the tv.