This is not by choice, my depression, anxiety, and social phobia make it so hard to meet people or be normal.
There is a difference between having a hard time, and not being able to do anything about it. How many people from all the people that you know, have the people they want in their lives.. people who were first strangers who were approached by a cold approach?
I will answer that question for you! very few.
I know people who have friends and spouses, they arent happy people. They can socialize with the people they know, but they are not happy and want someone else in their lives.
So aim high, not low, even if you have nothing.
Lesson 1:
"Aim for the moon, if you miss, you hit the stars".
Being completely alone is killing me slowly, making me more isolated and exacerbating my mental conditions.
Really?!!?
I have been alone for longer than you have. I am 32 and I am alone (no family, close relationships, distant relationships, online friends..nothing!) for over a decade. I havent felt more isolated and my mental condition is even better than it was with the awful people that I was surrounded with (especially family and relatives). How do you explain that distinction between you and me?
That is because I set my social expectations high enough so they are reasonable. Society came up with that idea that loneliness exacerbates your mental conditions. Did you know, that some psychiatrists recommend being alone because it lets you heal?
Let me tell you about things that exacerbate your mental conditions, the following relationships situations when you are not alone:
- Break up with someone you thought was perfect.
- Losing a close friend that you have been friend with him for years.
- Finding that your friends are idiots, very different from you or treacherous.
- Having a mother who hates you and tells you that she never wanted you.
- Having a father who doesnt care about you, even when you are abused by people who are close to him.
- Having an awful sister, who drags you into difficult situations.
- Working around people who are different than you, non caring, difficult to cope with.
- Being with people or friends and wishing you had different friends or spouse.
- ...
I could go on, but you got my point that being alone is not the worst thing on the top of your list that should lead to 'mental problems'.
Adapt your social expectations, dont set them to what the society thinks is right. Be alone as much as you like, let relationships happen.. put some effort, but not all your effort (mental and physical). Otherwise you will hurt your self-esteem.. if you put too much effort in chasing people. Pleasing people all the time, will exacerbate your mental conditions..loneliness does nothing to it.
Lesson 2:
"I dont know what the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone" ...
Because it really brings me into the stages of grief, despair, and hopelessness, and I don't know how I can sustain this.
Dont set yourself boundaries where you can break. It does nothing, and it is self-defeating.
Lesson 5:
"If it doesnt kill you, it makes you stronger"
I have been consciously choosing to fight my depression that stems from perceived loneliness. I focus on other things and all that is going right in my life. My health, the trips and travel I am planning, my new job (or future career goals), and hitting fitness goals. 
