Perhaps I find it difficult to socialise in the real world. My only form of interaction is help forums, I always manage to find someone in the real world that doesn't like me. Why do I always find people that don't like me, I don't intentionally go out my way to find people that don't like me. So I have stopped bothering. Whenever I get to know people,.open up a bit I become some sort of target. They make dogs that I don't work, make dogs that I have lost loved ones. Anything they can find to hurt me, they will use. I do see mental health advisors. What I really need is a friend, so the issue clearly lies with me, if you had lost loved ones, not just 1 bit almost everyone that you care about and the topic continually gets reignited, you don't want that flame to burn again.
I know I am not easy to get along with, people make dogs that I think I am a poet. I'm illiterate. It only hurts because all I ever wanted was to find a friend, then it backfired. Because they seem I am too desperate. They can treat me anyway they want, because I am not in a position to just go and forget about it. I come from a family that have high standards, I don't meet those standards anymore. I have done my part as a woman, I have grown up children, now I'm done for. I wanted to try and see if here are any other females here that feel worthless when their children are grown up. When there is nothing left of life. Not even the children's father.
You are probably right.aboit negativity. People just don't want to entertain it. Atleast on forums I thought people may relate, so I don't feel so alone. Honestly, people scare me.
Thanks for taking the time to post me back.
*Digs
Okay, NOW we are having a conversation. Let's keep that up and see where we land.
When a person has been abused emotionally, they tend to get in a mindset that attracts all the wrong people. We are used to the toxic environment and we kind of gravitate towards that whether we want to or not. It's what we know.
Of course letting people in and letting people get close to you can be a double edged sword, because while it's what we want/need, it can also end in disaster, but having that close bond with someone, having the chance to have someone who supports you and is there for you is worth it in the end. It's all about perspective. Life is short, for all of us, we have to make the most of it and take what is offered and find the opportunities that will make our lives better, because even if you live 100 years, that's nothing in the grand scheme of things.
A lot of us aren't easy to get along with and some of the people here have issues with socializing. Every single one of us came here for a reason. When I first came here, I was just out of a very abusive relationship. Both physically and emotionally abusive and let you me tell you something....that emotional abuse destroyed me far more than any of the physical. Bruises heal, even broken bones here, but that emotional abuse sticks with you and doesn't let go. I fought that, I won that fight. Am I perfect now? No, of course not, I'll always be a work in progress because there will always be something I can improve to be a better person, but I'm still trying and will continue to try to better myself until my last day.
My oldest son is autistic. He is an adult and high functioning, but he will likely live with me for a good while yet. My youngest son will be entering the military in 2 months. So yeah, they are more or less grown.
Why does them being grown mean you are done? Our children will always need us. What about grandchildren? Because of my ex and my relationship with him I know what it's like to feel worthless, but we make our own worth. No one else can decide that for us. Don't let anyone have that much power over you. Take back control of your life, do something for yourself. Find a reason. Be kind, be friendly, be helpful. Helping others can very much work to help ourselves. Stop beating yourself up and go find your way. Do NOT give up because there's so much out there.
Plenty of people here can relate to what you've been through, but you have to stop jumping to conclusions and misinterpreting what we are saying. We are a good group of people, so you have to let yourself see that and take what we are offering you, because believe it or not, we do want to help. We do want to see you get better and not only survive, but to be okay with who you are.
