Having Trouble With Western Women :/

[isthatso]

I don't think they do. Not always. They are just better actors. More self aware of things like body language so know how to pretend. they can be quaking in their boots inside but know how to hide it.

Yes, that is what we want to tell ourselves. Truth of the matter is that there are people out there who believe they are awesome inside and out. They are not quaking in their boots, they are not lying or acting, they are not just one big lie. That does not mean they do not get nervous, that is a given they are capable of being nervous. However, they do not let that kind of thing consume their lives. You know the way most of us who are insecure do.

Maybe we're talking about different things.
This is worth a different thread I think.
Two people with the same talent. One has confidence. the other doubts himself.The one with confidence will succeed because more likely to take risks.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am confused for the same reason as well.

O_O holy crap we agreed on something

Yeah that was the first thing that came to my mind when I read what you wrote as well

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Yeah that was the first thing that came to my mind when I read what you wrote as well

Ah, alright I am glad I was not alone in those sentiments. Well I am sure we will go back to our usual nemesis routine soon

 

[SophiaGrace]

I am sure we will go back to our usual nemesis routine soon

LOL!

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

It looks like you two are a match made in heaven you know who i am talking about

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I am still confused about the title of this thread.

 

[Tealeaf]

 

[AFrozenSoul]

>_< I don't wanna

 

[Tealeaf]

>_< I don't wanna

Say goodbye to the walls of your house, then.

 

[SophiaGrace]

>_< I don't wanna

Say goodbye to the walls of your house, then.

eep

 

[Okonkwo]

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings.

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings.

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to this thread and indeed I welcome the intellient and constructive criticism. its always a good thing that, people like yourself can put your point across in a non aggressive and non offensive manner and I welcome that. I do get regular exercise and I eat quite healthily. Alcohol habits for me, have improved drastically althoughIi do have my odd days down the pub allday on occasion. My goal there, is to keep consumption of alcohol down to a 'bare minimum' or if not, planning to abstain from it completely. Although in other areas, you emphathisize alot on physical appaearence and make the assumption that, I am 'significantly below average'.

That is where I draw the line there. I am trying to view the whole situation on a 'higher plane'. Away from the physical and material expectations tht society, in my personal view, 'falsely' adheres to. maybe this is where I fail. Because I see things differently and try to live seperately from this. I want to take the time to apologize to anyone I amy ahve offended here. The problem, may not be other people it is probbaly because I wish to live 'seperataly' from all these concieved notions of how people should be and look. Especially in the dating game.

I'll say this. Everyone needs to be who they are. and whilst I dont agree with everything you said. We are indeed different people and are entitled to view the world as we see it. No advice is wrong. Especially not on a personal level anyway.

Thanks aian for being critically 'constructively'. I welcome that sort of thing If Im honest. Maybe in time I may aree with more you say because we are 'evolviing' all the time. In all sorts of ways.

---

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings.

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

Thank you for takin the time to reply to this thread and indeed I welcome the intellient and constructive criticism. its always a good thing that, people like yourself can put your point across in a non aggressive and non offensive manner and I welcome that. I do get reular exercise and I eat quite healthily. Alcohol habits for me, have improved drastically althiouh i do have my odd days down the pub allday on occasion. My goal there, is to keep consumption of alcohol down to a 'bare minimum' or if not, Planning to abstain from it completely. Although in other areas, you emphathisize alot on physical appaearence and make the assumption that, I am 'significantly below average.

That is where I draw the line there. I am trying to view the whole situation on a 'higher plane'. Away from the physica and material expectations tht society, in my personal view, 'falsely' adheres to. maybe this is where I fail. Because I see things differently and try to live seperately from this. I want to take the time to apologize to anyone I amy ahve offended here. The problem, may not be other people it is probbaly because i wish to live 'seperataly' from all these concieved notions of how people should be and look. Especially in the dating game.

Ill say this. Everyone need to be who they are. and whilst I dont agree with everything you said., we are indeed different people and are entitled to view the world as we see it. No advice is wrong. Especially not on a peronal level anyway.

Thanks aian for being critically 'constructively'. i welcome that sort of thing If Im honest. Maybe in time I may aree with more you say because we are 'evolviing' all the time. In all sorts of ways.

Furthermore, I dont mean anyhting in a 'high and mighty' or 'self rightous' fashion or manner. I am jsut living as I seem to myself 'fit' for my purpose. I'm no better than anyone else in the world and I heavily empthasize that just in case anyone misinterpretes waht I am saying.

Everyone must be them and themselves only. if you drink smoke, have tatoos and sleep around thats fin,. Who am I to judge? Noone really has the right to judge anyone's lifestyle in its present form. We are who we beleive to be. No matter on what 'level of thought' or consciousness we are.

To the women who have turned me down, Then really, they have 'every right'. they like me, are jsut living as they believe. We are all on different reas of the spectrum as far as I can see. Is there room for improvement in my life? Perhaps there may well be.

I am no longer going to write 'threads' such as this as I feel I am only contradicting on what I personally and truly believe.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

One great way to make females realize you are sexually attracted to them is to try and seduce them. I mean what better way to show a female you are sexually attracted to them than to try and have sex with them?

 

[duff]

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings.

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

I'm a 4 handicap golfer and it hasn't helped me with the ladies. Not romantically anyway, I do know a few lady golfers and it is a good conversation topic though !

---

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

One great way to make females realize you are sexually attracted to them is to try and seduce them. I mean what better way to show a female you are sexually attracted to them than to try and have sex with them?

ive never attempted that ever !

 

[AFrozenSoul]

ive never attempted that ever !

^_^ Yup I know, you refused to take any of my advice on your thread.

I am just repeating what men who have lots of success with females have told me. You know guys who have small groups of females hovering over him all the time.

 

[ladyforsaken]

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

This is a bit too harsh and stereotypical, in my opinion. Just because a guy can't maintain a proper relationship at 31 doesn't mean there's something wrong with his personality or physical appearance. How can you determine at what age one should be able to maintain a proper relationship or not?

Being "yourself" just isn't good enough? You sound like my ex who wanted me to be more than what I was or was capable of being. In my opinion, being yourself is good enough, but if one tries to add on extra tricks or actions to win the other person over, that's a bonus point but if that action is just put on and not based on oneself - what's the point?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the OP. If he is judgemental of western women or any type of women, he must've had experiences with women from other cultures as well and he also said not all western women. But perhaps luck hasn't been on his side to meet the right one.

It's all a matter of difference in cultures in the way these women are brought up. The fact is whether the OP's personality suits the culture of such women or women from another culture. He is his own self and I think it's not appropriate to say there's something wrong with him just because. If it was someone with low self-esteem receiving such comments, it won't be of any help instead might create negative thoughts within himself. How is this helpful in this forum?

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

Like you say, physical appearance isn't very important to most women. And we don't all like the same things.

JustALonelyGuy, what's important is you feel comfortable the way you look and feel confident in your looks. As long as you look presentable, your personality will tend to outshine your looks if you're feeling confident about it.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

How can you just say that a woman will friendzone a man when she either views him as gay, asexual or womanly? I've read about a lot of other reasons why some men get friendzoned and it is nothing near those that you mentioned. There are so many reasons as to why it happens, it depends on the situation, doesn't it?

And using online dating to meet people does not make one less attractive. Maybe to some women, but not in general!

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

I think the OP is confident enough to the best of what he can be. Because to be honest, after reading your reply to his thread, I would've thought he would be affected in one way or another but to see that he was still positive and replied back in such a calm manner shows confidence and belief in his own personality and self. I don't doubt his confidence level here.

What I think could help in his situation is a change of environment or perhaps to be more sociable in more than one place. Know more people, not just locally in his area, but also perhaps socialise with people from other parts of the UK or from other countries. Nothing wrong with learning about women from all over the world.

 

[CAS]

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings.

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

Okonkwo. Who do you think you are? Almost every remark you made towards the O.P. comes across as a blatant insult rather than positive encouragement.

"Looks significantly below average" ?? Wow you must either be very unpleasant or very stupid to pass a comment like that and not see how insulting it would come across to the reader. My guess is you're both of those things.

Basically, my assessment of you is that you're a first-class ******* **** with a sick and twisted desire to put others down. Well you're the one being put down now. How do you like that, *******??

---

I just want to direct a post to the O.P.

Despite Okonkwo's (or as I like to call him 'ass-hole') twisted, cynical view of women, there are plenty out there who are not turned off by minor points such as a receding hairline and a less-than-perfect figure. In fact I'd go as far as to say the ones who do judge on such things are the ones decent men like you should be avoiding.

In my experience, People like Okonkwo like to draw attention to the flaws of others just so they can feel better about their own. What a *******.

 

[perfanoff]

To be honest anyone who wants something, gets it. I just had a friend have his "name-day" (which is something like a minor birthday) and at least 20 women (just 2 guys) wrote to his wall to congratulate him.

I'd attribute his popularity with women to be about two things:
1. Spending large amounts of time on chatting and developing relationships
2. Having a style of thinking that is more compatible with most women (esoteric, energy medallions, feeling-centered, open to illogical thinking, etc). - I'm sorry if any logical women here are offended, but this is the truth, and the majority.

If you want success to this scale with women.. are you willing to pay the price?

 

[isthatso]

Having a style of thinking that is more compatible with most women (esoteric, energy medallions, feeling-centered, open to illogical thinking, etc). - I'm sorry if any logical women here are offended, but this is the truth, and the majority.

Interesting point made.
I think I'm getting there these days as these are my natural interests.
But sometimes you just want to get to the point and solve a problem logically. No more discussions please.

 

[perfanoff]

Hehe I'm just stating how I see things.
It makes me feel better that I'm single because of my style of thinking rather than being inherently unattractive.