Having Trouble With Western Women :/

[duff]

ive never attempted that ever !

^_^ Yup I know, you refused to take any of my advice on your thread.

I am just repeating what men who have lots of success with females have told me. You know guys who have small groups of females hovering over him all the time.

i don't think your advice is very good !

Sorry !

Guys with small groups of women hanging around them will either be good looking or rich !

 

[Lady X]

I'm a 26 year old, mature, "western" woman.... and I kinda get where the OP is actually coming from. Although I think he just put it across a little awkwardly.

I think, and OP please correct me if I'm wrong, that he is a guy without massive experience of women, so is going off the media driven (********) image of "what the modern western woman wants" - the kind of **** you see on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine like "10 amazing tips to finally bag that man that has amazing abs, gives you 10 orgasms a night and then still goes downstairs and washes the dishes!".

Speaking as a young, normal woman... that's a load of bollocks that magazines might suggest we want, but is faaaar from reality.

I do get how you'd think it were true, as there are a minority of young naiive women who buy into that magazine crap and tart themselves up and act rather shallow and mindlessley. But they are equalled in number by men who are just like that too. Sadly, although they are a minority, as they tend to be the ones going out to pubs and clubs "on the pull", they can become the prevailing image if you put yourself out into that scene.

Also, I can kinda see how you'd think eastern women might be different, as we are used to the whole "thai/russian" bride stereotype. However, these are women who are willing to essentially sell themselves, be subservient and put up with anything and any man in order to escape a poor life in the hope that it will be better. They are not an accurate image of what all women from those areas of the world are like.


What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.



Your lack of success so far might be because you seem so pre-occupied with this notion of finding someone. It will affect your expectations and therefore chances with women as (and not wanting to sound horrible here) but you might come across as a little desperate. It's nice to feel wanted, but its disconcerting if on the first few dates you feel like the guy just wants "any" relationship and not necessarily you in particular.

Just chill out, explore friendships and a few dates (even if met online) - but just dont throw everything you have into every chance.

 

[isthatso]

What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.

I was trying to think of something witty to say but I have to admit you really are helping single guys here with your advice.
I think what makes my relationship work, is that there is no expectation on sterotypes. I mean I'm the more feminine, and she is more the tomboy. I don't have to be macho..just be myself. I don't have to be a huge breadwinner. She loves career but hates housework whereas I don't mind it. Someone who allows you to be yourself is a huge relief.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

i don't think your advice is very good !

Sorry !

Guys with small groups of women hanging around them will either be good looking or rich !

Nah one guy I know is a teacher for a small mountain town elementary school. He is hardly rich, but every girl in town knows him and hangs around him when possible.

regardless of what you think of my advice. It takes much less effort than your usual method.

Also, I can kinda see how you'd think eastern women might be different, as we are used to the whole "thai/russian" bride stereotype. However, these are women who are willing to essentially sell themselves, be subservient and put up with anything and any man in order to escape a poor life in the hope that it will be better. They are not an accurate image of what all women from those areas of the world are like.

Actually there is more to the cultural idea of Eastern than being subservient. In many eastern and central cultures there are still heavy gender roles, which are seen as ok. It is not just the female culture it is also the male culture as well. In the more reclusive eastern cultures. Males are reclusive and reserved. They do not really display common attraction traits as are expected.

I make the distinction between eastern and western females in the sense that in an eastern culture western males can thrive more. On the account that a western male is more exotic, and is will to display the confidence needed to get females.

What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.

I always like reading things like this. Shows how real females have no standards. Everything you wrote in that line is something I assume is wanted. To be 1000% honest here. IF that is all a real female wants.. give me a fake, tart, barbie female anyday. At least they want more than a D-

 

[Barbaloot]

Shows how real females have no standards.

Wow.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Shows how real females have no standards.

I will tell you who has standards. This forum. And you currently don't meet them with your misogynistic blathering.

This ban is good for one month. You won't get another chance if/when you come back. Your next misogynistic comment will be your last here.

 

[perfanoff]

As opposed to fake women, who have no standards

ALL THE FAKE WOMEN, GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE!

(yeah I'm drunk.)

---

i don't think your advice is very good !

Sorry !

Guys with small groups of women hanging around them will either be good looking or rich !

Nah one guy I know is a teacher for a small mountain town elementary school. He is hardly rich, but every girl in town knows him and hangs around him when possible.

regardless of what you think of my advice. It takes much less effort than your usual method.

Also, I can kinda see how you'd think eastern women might be different, as we are used to the whole "thai/russian" bride stereotype. However, these are women who are willing to essentially sell themselves, be subservient and put up with anything and any man in order to escape a poor life in the hope that it will be better. They are not an accurate image of what all women from those areas of the world are like.

Actually there is more to the cultural idea of Eastern than being subservient. In many eastern and central cultures there are still heavy gender roles, which are seen as ok. It is not just the female culture it is also the male culture as well. In the more reclusive eastern cultures. Males are reclusive and reserved. They do not really display common attraction traits as are expected.

I make the distinction between eastern and western females in the sense that in an eastern culture western males can thrive more. On the account that a western male is more exotic, and is will to display the confidence needed to get females.

What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.

I always like reading things like this. Shows how real females have no standards. Everything you wrote in that line is something I assume is wanted. To be 1000% honest here. IF that is all a real female wants.. give me a fake, tart, barbie female anyday. At least they want more than a D-

You can answer me this simple question in one month.

If real women don't have standards..... why are you single?

 

[ladyforsaken]

What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.

I was trying to think of something witty to say but I have to admit you really are helping single guys here with your advice.
I think what makes my relationship work, is that there is no expectation on sterotypes. I mean I'm the more feminine, and she is more the tomboy. I don't have to be macho..just be myself. I don't have to be a huge breadwinner. She loves career but hates housework whereas I don't mind it. Someone who allows you to be yourself is a huge relief.

Yup, I agree with Lady X's quote above as well as what you're saying, isthatso. When you can be yourself with the other person, it makes you so much more naturally happier than if you have to work harder to be someone you're not. Which is why I had issues when Okonkwo said "yourself" is not enough. It is enough for when you meet someone compatible.

I always like reading things like this. Shows how real females have no standards. Everything you wrote in that line is something I assume is wanted. To be 1000% honest here. IF that is all a real female wants.. give me a fake, tart, barbie female anyday. At least they want more than a D-

And I like reading things like this because it just gives away how shallow you can be as a person towards the opposite sex, sort of like a warning to women out there about your character, and that is probably why you may not have succeeded well in the relationship department.

 

[Limlim]

I think we all know what the OP is really getting at here when he says "western women." He is clearly referring to cowgirls. They have seduced him with their bull roping, cattle driving ways in their sexy 10 gallon hats and spurred boots. I wish I had advice for him, for they also remain a mystery to me. I have had more luck with urban women myself being a city boy.

 

[Lady X]

.

What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.

I always like reading things like this. Shows how real females have no standards. Everything you wrote in that line is something I assume is wanted. To be 1000% honest here. IF that is all a real female wants.. give me a fake, tart, barbie female anyday. At least they want more than a D-

Well, for a guy who has continually bleated on about how he "knows all the tricks" to have a hareem of women bending to his very will with his "alpha male" supreme confidence, I think we can all see why you are actually still single...

 

[CAS]

If you're 31 and and can't maintain a proper relationship then there's something seriously wrong with your personality or physical appearance. "Yourself" just isn't good enough.

This is a bit too harsh and stereotypical, in my opinion. Just because a guy can't maintain a proper relationship at 31 doesn't mean there's something wrong with his personality or physical appearance. How can you determine at what age one should be able to maintain a proper relationship or not?

Being "yourself" just isn't good enough? You sound like my ex who wanted me to be more than what I was or was capable of being. In my opinion, being yourself is good enough, but if one tries to add on extra tricks or actions to win the other person over, that's a bonus point but if that action is just put on and not based on oneself - what's the point?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the OP. If he is judgemental of western women or any type of women, he must've had experiences with women from other cultures as well and he also said not all western women. But perhaps luck hasn't been on his side to meet the right one.

It's all a matter of difference in cultures in the way these women are brought up. The fact is whether the OP's personality suits the culture of such women or women from another culture. He is his own self and I think it's not appropriate to say there's something wrong with him just because. If it was someone with low self-esteem receiving such comments, it won't be of any help instead might create negative thoughts within himself. How is this helpful in this forum?

Let's talk about your looks a bit, assuming your avatar is an image of yourself. You appear to have a receding hairline, which is a huge turn off at only 31 years old. I can't see your body, but by looking at your shoulders it looks like you're desperately in need of a gym membership. Have you been exercising daily? Even if it doesn't improve your physical appearance exercising daily will increase your testosterone levels and help improve your personality. That said, while your physical appearance seems to be significantly below average, there are no obvious defects (i.e. missing limbs, terrible teeth, morbidly obese, etc) that would prevent you from forming a romantic relationship. Physical appearance isn't very important to most women anyways. Just understand that you're not going to be the guy that gets a girl based on looks alone, and you're going to have to work harder than average to above average looking men.

Like you say, physical appearance isn't very important to most women. And we don't all like the same things.

JustALonelyGuy, what's important is you feel comfortable the way you look and feel confident in your looks. As long as you look presentable, your personality will tend to outshine your looks if you're feeling confident about it.

A woman will friendzone a man when she view him as either as a gay man, an asexual man, or a woman. Something in your personality is making it so that women don't see you as a sexual, heterosexual man. You say you've tried being confident/arrogant, but you must truly be confident (not arrogant, confident. Look up the difference). Women will be able to tell if you're faking it. Most likely the relationships you did have were because the women were initially fooled by your act, but eventually caught on that you were truly insecure inside. Additionally, the fact that you had to use online dating to meet them makes you inherently less attractive.

How can you just say that a woman will friendzone a man when she either views him as gay, asexual or womanly? I've read about a lot of other reasons why some men get friendzoned and it is nothing near those that you mentioned. There are so many reasons as to why it happens, it depends on the situation, doesn't it?

And using online dating to meet people does not make one less attractive. Maybe to some women, but not in general!

You need to increase your confidence level. You do this by being successful in life. Start working out daily. Make it a goal to talk to 3 new women per week. Try to improve your career. What field are you in? You are in the UK so it might be different there, but taking golf lessons has done more for my career than any degree of certification ever could.

I think the OP is confident enough to the best of what he can be. Because to be honest, after reading your reply to his thread, I would've thought he would be affected in one way or another but to see that he was still positive and replied back in such a calm manner shows confidence and belief in his own personality and self. I don't doubt his confidence level here.

What I think could help in his situation is a change of environment or perhaps to be more sociable in more than one place. Know more people, not just locally in his area, but also perhaps socialise with people from other parts of the UK or from other countries. Nothing wrong with learning about women from all over the world.

i don't think your advice is very good !

Sorry !

Guys with small groups of women hanging around them will either be good looking or rich !

Nah one guy I know is a teacher for a small mountain town elementary school. He is hardly rich, but every girl in town knows him and hangs around him when possible.

regardless of what you think of my advice. It takes much less effort than your usual method.

Also, I can kinda see how you'd think eastern women might be different, as we are used to the whole "thai/russian" bride stereotype. However, these are women who are willing to essentially sell themselves, be subservient and put up with anything and any man in order to escape a poor life in the hope that it will be better. They are not an accurate image of what all women from those areas of the world are like.

Actually there is more to the cultural idea of Eastern than being subservient. In many eastern and central cultures there are still heavy gender roles, which are seen as ok. It is not just the female culture it is also the male culture as well. In the more reclusive eastern cultures. Males are reclusive and reserved. They do not really display common attraction traits as are expected.

I make the distinction between eastern and western females in the sense that in an eastern culture western males can thrive more. On the account that a western male is more exotic, and is will to display the confidence needed to get females.

What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.

I always like reading things like this. Shows how real females have no standards. Everything you wrote in that line is something I assume is wanted. To be 1000% honest here. IF that is all a real female wants.. give me a fake, tart, barbie female anyday. At least they want more than a D-

AFrozenSoul - You have an appropriate name as I am truly convinced your soul IS frozen beyond repair.

Also, your soul is SO frozen that you froze my computer, therefore I am doubly annoyed with you.

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

I'm a 26 year old, mature, "western" woman.... and I kinda get where the OP is actually coming from. Although I think he just put it across a little awkwardly.

I think, and OP please correct me if I'm wrong, that he is a guy without massive experience of women, so is going off the media driven (********) image of "what the modern western woman wants" - the kind of **** you see on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine like "10 amazing tips to finally bag that man that has amazing abs, gives you 10 orgasms a night and then still goes downstairs and washes the dishes!".

Speaking as a young, normal woman... that's a load of bollocks that magazines might suggest we want, but is faaaar from reality.

I do get how you'd think it were true, as there are a minority of young naiive women who buy into that magazine crap and tart themselves up and act rather shallow and mindlessley. But they are equalled in number by men who are just like that too. Sadly, although they are a minority, as they tend to be the ones going out to pubs and clubs "on the pull", they can become the prevailing image if you put yourself out into that scene.

Also, I can kinda see how you'd think eastern women might be different, as we are used to the whole "thai/russian" bride stereotype. However, these are women who are willing to essentially sell themselves, be subservient and put up with anything and any man in order to escape a poor life in the hope that it will be better. They are not an accurate image of what all women from those areas of the world are like.


What real women want is a guy who understands them, treats them well, has the same goals in life as them (like whether they want marriage/kids down the line etc) and who they have sexual chemistry with.



Your lack of success so far might be because you seem so pre-occupied with this notion of finding someone. It will affect your expectations and therefore chances with women as (and not wanting to sound horrible here) but you might come across as a little desperate. It's nice to feel wanted, but its disconcerting if on the first few dates you feel like the guy just wants "any" relationship and not necessarily you in particular.

Just chill out, explore friendships and a few dates (even if met online) - but just dont throw everything you have into every chance.

Lady X thank you for your input on this. Also thank you for kinda seeing from my POV I appreciate that alot. maybe at times I do comne across as 'needy' but most of us do if we admit we arent perfect and flawless. You are right, I ahvent had much expereice with women notably because, I have never been given a proper chance. Most of the girlfriends I ahve had I have been unable to connect with and have been on the other side of the spectrum than me. They were often very shy and refused or wouldnt want to come out with me for a quiet drink at night. I'm not into clubs and havin a gf to get drunk with is not my scene but even this with some of the women I have been out with this has been a problem. They ahve often been much shyer than this. I have really tried. Also they were unable to keep up with my conversations. Some people know here that I like to be very deep about thins and often I can go beyond one's 'realm of thinking' (Im very spiritual, dont believe in religion or politics and just want my own identity) quite oftenbut this is me, i cant chane who I am. Im not willin to just have my 'head in the sand' just to get a few dates or a relationship. Im not into playing the games society and the media tells us to. I have never fallen for such 'propaganda' and I would not start now even if you gave me £1000 lol. One has to be themselves and I'm learnin even if it doesnt pay off now it may do later.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think we all know what the OP is really getting at here when he says "western women." He is clearly referring to cowgirls. They have seduced him with their bull roping, cattle driving ways in their sexy 10 gallon hats and spurred boots. I wish I had advice for him, for they also remain a mystery to me. I have had more luck with urban women myself being a city boy.

*chokes laughing*

 

[Gutted]

As some of you might know, I am from the UK. I am constantly dismayed, confused and feel so disconnecrted with 'western' women and their 'needs'

Yes I work, consider myself in good shape yet I feel I am not worthy to date anyone here. ive tried meetin women in the real world yet they just do not take me seriously.

The girlfriends I have had, I met online and eneded at just 2 months if that. They just 'friendzone' me for no particular reason. I dont consider myself boring at all. There are quieter guys I see hand in hand with women here yet I, do not get a second look. usually I just feel myself dismissed by the vast majority of them.

Ive tried to be more 'confident' and displayed arrogance etc like society and the media have said and tried all the traits it says will make you successful with women.

I am 31 and I constantly feel I am going nowhere. I am not a bad looking guy yet other guys like me seem to have rich pickings. I am not bitter about it I jsut feel a total loss as to waht to do. Even bein 'myself' is not working...

What do I do?

For some reason I can imagine me being in this very same position in future, lol. The problem lies with the people you live around. They're probably not your type of people. The sad fact is that for some of us, our best chances with a partner lays in distance and/or luck. Why? You have the ability to make any impression you like with them, as opposed to those who see you all the time in your local area.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I haven’t read the entirety of this thread since it looks like a clusterfuck of quotes within quotes but for what it’s worth, as someone who has travelled a lot, people are people the world over. All this "western women vs. eastern women" stereotyping is nonsense often based on false information. People should see each other as the individuals they are and not the outdated national stereotypes we wrongly assume them to be.

Materialistic western women and subservient eastern women? Oh please! You can find women (and men) like that on both sides of the pond, behaviours aren’t limited to locations.

 

[isthatso]

Materialistic western women and subservient eastern women? Oh please! You can find women (and men) like that on both sides of the pond, behaviours aren’t limited to locations.

Exactly why I made a mock thread about it entitled "I prefer Western Women" ...(see closed section)

 

[Misanthrope23]

i think you're being too judgmental and saying that all western women are troublesome. or maybe you're saying that the western woman that you interacted with weren't that great?

 

[ladyforsaken]

The OP did mention he didn't say all western women. I'm pretty sure he means the ones that he's come across with in his life, some western women.

 

[perfanoff]

I have problems with ALL western women. Because none of them is my girlfriend right now. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
:club:

 

[ladyforsaken]

I have problems with ALL western women. Because none of them is my girlfriend right now. Seriously, what is wrong with you?
:club:

Lol
On a serious note, sorry though to hear about that. :\