heartless, mindless, stone deaf

[keeper]

I can vouch certain two things to which I'm witness, instead: firstly your evident mockery:

What masterpiece of cognitive dissidence!

secondly your manifest mystification:

See how they [keeper and lonelygirl] agree with me on everything up until skirting my entire point!

 

[AaronAgassi]

Can you also perceive my frustration?

 

[keeper]

Can you perceive mine?

 

[AaronAgassi]

Actually, I thought that you where simply offended.

 

[keeper]

I think this thread is getting pointless. I've written my opinion, that's enough. No need to go further.

 

[AaronAgassi]

The porridge is always too hot or tool cold, never just right. I hold back and I am not heard, so I gradually escalate until I am rebuked for giving offence. But nowhere in between do I simply get through.

 

[sweetviki]

It makes a whole difference if the person thats giving advice is genuenly interested in the other person, wants to listen and have a connection with them. Lonely people just need company and someone to be there in addition to recieving valuable advice. However if an individual is giving advice but they dont necesarily connect with that other person but do have some valuable insigh to their situation I dont think its fair to automaticaly label their advice as pointless because it lacks depth towards that other individual or that they do not want to esablish a connection. Some problems arent simple and sometimes its hard to help someone because in order to really help one needs to fully unerstand who that person is on the inside their strenghts and weaknesses, know alot about their life. You cant do that here online unless you have talked with that person for an extended period of time so people just give advice based on what they know from your first post and apply it to things they have learned in their life. Yes it is not deep an wont really help it will just seem like simple solution because there isnt enough information to really help but you shouldnt blame that person and say that its just empty words , pointless lectures if they cant give you valuable advice. If their giving you advice they are trying to help you and you shouldt look down on them if they cant.

I dont know if I explained my point very well I might have missunderstood some things you said. Some of the vocabulary in your thread is a bit above my reading level. I'm still in highschool but I tried

 

[AaronAgassi]

No, I do not label all however impersonal advice bad even if said advice is well reasoned in it's own right to whatever problem at hand. Far from it.

 

[teach]

Thank you for your answer, Aaron. Perhaps, two polls would be in order, to either confirm or relieve your impressions: One asking if a person has ever (or consistently) responds to lonely threads beyond the public posts, to get more personal with the thread poster. The other directed toward the thread posters, if they interact in the PM/email format after their thread initiation. I'm sure the comments added to the poll thread may give you some additional insight into your inquiry.

I cannot vouch certain to anything to which I might not be witness. But there is alas, just as I have related, troubling positive indication in support of my poor impressions.

 

[AaronAgassi]

Whatever the results of such a survey, I should certainly hope that you do not propose simply to ignore the evidence already right before our eyes.

 

[sweetviki]

What evidence is that?

 

[MarynaGural]

There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,

on the surface of a gas-covered planet

going around a nuclear fireball ninety million miles away

and think this to be normal!!!!

is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be — Maryna

 

[teach]

Rather than ignore the need you observe, and I agree, is very important, whatever the actual level it exists at, I would purpose the encouragement of deeper converations to form stronger bonds and relationships on this forum which you suggest, be it via public posts or private. Although, on the same hand, I don't lessen the value of casual conversation and posts to aid in building the bonds of trust and relationships.

Whatever the results of such a survey, I should certainly hope that you do not propose simply to ignore the evidence already right before our eyes.

 

[AaronAgassi]

What evidence is that?

To begin with, numerous explicit statements posted to the effect that both analysis and engagement are entirely superfluous to compassionate succor.

 

[way]

My cats breath smells like cat food.

What the? I hear you asking. Trust me, I'm asking the same thing about this entire thread.

 

[AaronAgassi]

If you can phrase any more specific question, way, or point out any more specific ambiguity, I will only be too glad to try my very best to make my self any clearer. But if you decline, then I must assume that you are not really all that interested. After all, if I already knew whatever was unclear, how so or why, then I already would have rewritten more clearly without you having to ask. So, way, is yours really a question or only a protest?

 

[diamond-dancer]

My cats breath smells like cat food.

What the? I hear you asking. Trust me, I'm asking the same thing about this entire thread.

Hah! That made me laugh as I was thinking something similar tuning in half way through.

Aaron -

I must admit I secretly love reading your posts. I'm not convinced that your attraction to controversy on this forum isn't some ingenious scheme on your part to have the lonely band together in disagreement against you...thereby creating a sense of camaraderie!

I think you need to take into consideration the limitations of communicating with people online. Active listening works well when you are situated in the same room as someone and can monitor their response to it, but a technique that works well in person isn’t always going to lend itself to success in an online medium.

We are not professional counsellors, and the people who come here are not seeking professionals. Everyone has a different reason for being here, but in the end all any of us can do is try to be a little sympathetic to one another’s individual heartaches, and where we can, offer them some advice to better their situation. You can’t help someone who won’t help themself. So, it’s up to the individual person to decide whether there is anything posted here that they can apply to their own unique situation which may benefit them. There isn’t a definitive formula for helping people.

In so many of your posts, you are surprised that others seem to have missed your point, but you do not make it easy for yourself. I’m sure I am not the first to tell you that you write in a manner that is difficult to understand. Rather than become so frustrated when you are misinterpreted, might you try making yourself clearer? I, myself, would like hypothetical examples of what you think we should we doing, rather than criticisms of what we’re doing wrong.

 

[AaronAgassi]

In a medium of asynchronous text communication, active listening becomes active reading. And the loss of non verbal cues, is compensated for in the gain of composition and conversational history. And people from every background have been communicating on a very high level for decades, even since the beginnings of Arpanet. All that is required is the choice and the expectation of investing attention.

And that in order to progress, people must find the wherewithal to help themselves, certainly applies no less to the above.

No, you are not the first to complain of difficulty with my writing style. Nor would you be first, if you refuse to be more helpfully specific. Cooperation towards miscommunication repair is only necessary if anyone ever ventures beyond the routine, so that misunderstanding, like disagreement, actually becomes the norm.

 

[sweetviki]

it was just a question I'm not shure I'm clear exactly as to the point you are trying to make. Are you trying to encourage people to create stronger connections on this forum or simply saying that people dont care about others and the advice given lacks deaph and doesnt really help? Do you feel that peoples advice is sometimes heartless beacause it lacks emotion behind it or that in order to really help a person must establish a connection?