Heightism Vs Preference

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Like isnt there that man who became famous from his mug shot

This reminds me of my ex. She told me that she used to pick her men out of mugshots. I asked her why and she said: "So I can see if they're hot or not, and if they're fun or not."

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Height doesn't mean anything to me as a man, nor does taller women intimidate me.
I'm 510.
If she's 6'1, she's 5'4 with rope, problem solved.


I don't have a preference for height with women, it's not even something I think about.

You guys are on a whole new level of acceptance makes me wanna just throw my make up away !! But hmm would you like their height or over look it?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

People have their preferences, what is one to do about it? I think what we would like is people to look beyond that stuff and like/love us for us (but that sort of begs the question, who are you? Our phsyical appearance is a part of us, as much as our political views.); but, it takes two to tango. I've got my preferences.

Interestingly enough for me, attraction has many times grown on me. A couple of women I was with, I was not really attracted to at all, at first; but, then I grew into them such that, they seemed my physical ideal. I think if I tried to force that reaction, it would backfire, but it happens naturally some times.

Probably there are folks who are wiser, and less vain, and work on the acquired taste principle; and, it probably works out better for them. There are only so many dark tall and hansoms, and buxom babes out there; and most of them are out of 99% of everyone else's league anyway. And most of them are probably a bit dense, shallow, and callous anyway.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. On the one hand, I think, being honest about your preferences and sticking to them, there is something to be said for that. I think there is also something to be said for, trying something new and giving it a chance. I just worry, what if you give it a chance and you find out you just don't like it. Or, what if you stick to your preferences and end up missing out on what could have been the best thing.

I think physical appearance just happens to, more often than not, be the first impression. You could be attracted to some one who is absolutely stunning; but, perhaps they are also a selfish cheat, self-centered, or have this or that problem. So, I think we some times end up throwing the baby out with the bath water; and then, we buy the nice house with the massive crack in it's foundation.

Life is ever ready to bewilder...

Wow this is sooo good, only one question, I hope you dont think im being rude but out of genuine curiosity…

There are only so many dark tall and hansoms, and buxom babes out there; and most of them are out of 99% of everyone else's league anyway. And most of them are probably a bit dense, shallow, and callous anyway.

Why is this narrative always pushed? I just think on one hand people want attractive people to be less vain... but there isn't even a word for people who are attractive that get stereotyped to death. It's like if im talking about unattractive men and I said "most" something negative...omg... all that would remain of me is my fake eyelashes. Shallow this, vain that, narcissist this... not that hot anyway that. Like but, people do this to "attractive people" all the time. The stereotypes are not one sided at all. I genuinely do not think how attractive or unattractive you are, changes much... I dont think ugliness makes someone a better person, I will say like all things, some people play their attractiveness to their advantage. I just think, people do dish out a lot to people they find good looking because.. "they have it easy, they can take it" sort of mentality. Maybe?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

To the question in OP. If they still found me attractive enough it wouldn't bother me. Most people find their ideals aren't as rigid as they once thought, and I can't really judge since I'd prefer someone younger, which is at least as superficial.

There's no point in judging biologically driven preferences. Society has a role in it, since height is often attached to status, but let's not kids ourselves, it would have been an advantage for women to pair up with taller and stronger men throughout the majority of evolutionary history (of us and our hominid ancestors). It is sad for noticeably short guys though, what with online dating they're probably at more of a disadvantage than ever.

But dont you want someone who loves all of you? Wouldn't you want someone that you love all of? I just dont know..is it fair to be with someone and find them.. "alright"?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

You guys are on a whole new level of acceptance makes me wanna just throw my make up away !! But hmm would you like their height or over look it?

It's just not a factor to me. I don't really have a preference for height.
Taller women usually don't approach me because they want a taller man, but also I'm not opposed or intimidated, either.
By sheer coincidence, most of the women I've dated have been between 5'1 and 5'5.
I courted a woman once who was 5'10, my exact height, but nothing ever serious came of it due to differences in where we were in our lives at the time.
Her height wasn't a factor as to why I was attracted to her, either, she just happened to be taller.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It's just not a factor to me. I don't really have a preference for height.
Taller women usually don't approach me because they want a taller man, but also I'm not opposed or intimidated, either.
By sheer coincidence, most of the women I've dated have been between 5'1 and 5'5.
I courted a woman once who was 5'10, my exact height, but nothing ever serious came of it due to differences in where we were in our lives at the time.
Her height wasn't a factor as to why I was attracted to her, either, she just happened to be taller.

But... do you like it? Like, I dont think theres much I haven't got a preference on so it's hard for me to imagine... being indifferent. I'd either like it, or I'd tolerate it. and I just cant work out... if tolerating something on someone you are supposed to love, fair?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Wow this is sooo good, only one question, I hope you dont think im being rude but out of genuine curiosity…

Why is this narrative always pushed? I just think on one hand people want attractive people to be less vain... but there isn't even a word for people who are attractive that get stereotyped to death. It's like if im talking about unattractive men and I said "most" something negative...omg... all that would remain of me is my fake eyelashes. Shallow this, vain that, narcissist this... not that hot anyway that. Like but, people do this to "attractive people" all the time. The stereotypes are not one sided at all. I genuinely do not think how attractive or unattractive you are, changes much... I dont think ugliness makes someone a better person, I will say like all things, some people play their attractiveness to their advantage. I just think, people do dish out a lot to people they find good looking because.. "they have it easy, they can take it" sort of mentality. Maybe?

The reason is that, if you've never experienced rejection, everyone wants you, all day, every day, it's hard for life to not always be about, 'you,' because it actually is. I will freely admit I'm vain, to a degree, self centered, to a degree; but, I'll admit it. Being attractive can be a curse, a horrible curse. I don't think people realize how awful of a curse it can be. So, I probably came at that from only one angle, and that bears out of previous experience I've had; but, of course the exception is not always the rule.

For me personally, I've known conceited self centered people who don't know what rejection is and therefore are entitled to everything. And, frankly, a highly attractive woman, who is also a doll, nice, caring genuine, and has her **** together, probably would have no business being interested in me, hah. So, I speak from a sore spot there.

People need to give up on the notions of narratives, stereo-types, and isms and ists. It just doesn't really work anymore, and it never did before anyway.

but, score me -1 negative on that one. I generalized, I shouldn't have. hah. One shouldn't envy the rich, or anyone, for that matter. I'm still a student of life, with barely passing grades, if not, I'm failing, hah. But I've got a keyboard damn it, watch out!

 

[ardour]

But dont you want someone who loves all of you? Wouldn't you want someone that you love all of? I just dont know..is it fair to be with someone and find them.. "alright"?

It's unrealistic to expect I'd meet some physical attraction fantasy of theirs. I'm balding too (since I was 15) which doesn't help. If you acknowledge people have preferences and those preferences follow a pattern, then they'll always be those fall below them in either some or all respects. Should they give up entirely because anyone they date might not consider them the hottest guy/girl on the planet?

Most people do settle when it comes to looks. If I could date, the person probably isn't going to look like Grace Park or Michelle Rodriguez. That doesn't mean I'd find them just "alright" though, and people probably do grow to appreciate each others looks with time.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

The reason is that, if you've never experienced rejection, everyone wants you, all day, every day, it's hard for life to not always be about, 'you,' because it actually is. I will freely admit I'm vain, to a degree, self centered, to a degree; but, I'll admit it. Being attractive can be a curse, a horrible curse. I don't think people realize how awful of a curse it can be. So, I probably came at that from only one angle, and that bears out of previous experience I've had; but, of course the exception is not always the rule.

For me personally, I've known conceited self centered people who don't know what rejection is and therefore are entitled to everything. And, frankly, a highly attractive woman, who is also a doll, nice, caring genuine, and has her **** together, probably would have no business being interested in me, hah. So, I speak from a sore spot there.

People need to give up on the notions of narratives, stereo-types, and isms and ists. It just doesn't really work anymore, and it never did before anyway.

but, score me -1 negative on that one. I generalized, I shouldn't have. hah. One shouldn't envy the rich, or anyone, for that matter. I'm still a student of life, with barely passing grades, if not, I'm failing, hah. But I've got a keyboard damn it, watch out!

Awh I dont think you're a -1 at all, it is something that I read a lot on this site, so its interesting to understand the perspective. thanks for explaining, this was interesting to me.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It's unrealistic to expect I'd meet some physical attraction fantasy of theirs. I'm balding too (since I was 15) which doesn't help. If you acknowledge people have preferences and those preferences follow a pattern, then they'll always be those fall below them in either some or all respects. Should they give up entirely because anyone they date might not consider them the hottest guy/girl on the planet?

Most people do settle when it comes to looks. If I could date, the person probably isn't going to look like Grace Park or Michelle Rodriguez. That doesn't mean I'd find them just "alright" though, and people probably do grow to appreciate each others looks with time.

I mean theres always someone hotter thats for sure, but I mean, I know guys way hotter than my fella (majority of my brothers friends) , but I like my fellas looks if that makes sense. He's a work of bloody art that man lmao I dont feel like im settling or trying to like his looks, he's hot. To me anyway. So it's like I'd hope he feels the same about me. If he didn't think I was hot.. should I really want him to be with me? Just feels wrong. idk.. or maybe it shouldn't matter? but why would it matter if it shouldn't?

It's like all I've ever wanted was someone who loved my inquisitive, caring nature, and how I look. Not just how I look and not just my personality, the mixture of both that makes me.. me. But im super romantic so I never even know if im being realistic. That's how I feel about my fella, like yeah he's hot but...I like that he's kind, spoils me rotten, has my back, even when we broke up he'd still do everything for me, pick me up from work and blah blah so really proved to me it wasn't some weird *** exchange, he did all those things because he cares about me.

 

[ardour]

I mean theres always someone hotter thats for sure, but I mean, I know guys way hotter than my fella (majority of my brothers friends) , but I like my fellas looks if that makes sense. He's a work of bloody art that man lmao I dont feel like im settling or trying to like his looks, he's hot. To me anyway. So it's like I'd hope he feels the same about me. If he didn't think I was hot.. should I really want him to be with me? Just feels wrong. idk.. or maybe it shouldn't matter? but why would it matter if it shouldn't?

They'll certainly be those who think it shouldn't matter, on this forum too. If you can at least still fancy someone, then past that point their looks matter less and less, and how they actually look will start to appeal more as the relationship progresses (that's a guess, I have no experience) . This is about options as well, and you have more options than most, so you can afford to have ideals both in how you view a boyfriend and how he views you. Not everyone can though. Unromantic settling is an unavoidable reality for most.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

They'll certainly be those who think it shouldn't matter, on this forum too. If you can at least still fancy someone, then past that point their looks matter less and less, and how they actually look will start to appeal more as the relationship progresses (that's a guess, I have no experience) . This is about options as well, and you have more options than most, so you can afford to have ideals both in how you view a boyfriend and how he views you. Not everyone can though. Unromantic settling is an unavoidable reality for most.

Ah this is interesting, maybe it is a lot to do with options. I think it's sad though, not to find the other half, do you think thats why a lot of people dont want children as much, because they dont even truly like who they are with?

 

[Adamridge79]

From the most basic and cursory reading, I'm going to think this is about height, and maybe the lie that is the foundation that is cosmetics. As for the former, man, a female tall as or taller than me? That might be fun to find some Amazonian, climb that? Hoo ya. Good night. As for the latter, I do not like make up at all. You're walking into the world with a lie at the forefront. I prefer to look at the same face in the morning that I saw before bed. But, to be fair, I'm not exactly a prize, so take that with the grain of salt it implies.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

From the most basic and cursory reading, I'm going to think this is about height, and maybe the lie that is the foundation that is cosmetics. As for the former, man, a female tall as or taller than me? That might be fun to find some Amazonian, climb that? Hoo ya. Good night. As for the latter, I do not like make up at all. You're walking into the world with a lie at the forefront. I prefer to look at the same face in the morning that I saw before bed. But, to be fair, I'm not exactly a prize, so take that with the grain of salt it implies.

Well thats good, I guess I want to know.... would you be happy being with someone that thought you was ugly, but willing to over look it?

 

[Adamridge79]

Well, if they thought I was ugly, why would they be with me? My non existent fortune? You should be attracted to your partner...I couldn't be with someone I thought of as 'ugly'. Fuckings great, but no one can do that every waking moment. You will have to talk to that person. And when you talk, you have to look at them. And there is way more talking than the cardinal pleasures. If you can look at them, and carry on even the most mundane conversations, that is the good place.

 

[ardour]

Ah this is interesting, maybe it is a lot to do with options. I think it's sad though, not to find the other half, do you think thats why a lot of people dont want children as much, because they dont even truly like who they are with?

...that's a dark thought. I mean you'd have to actively dislike them or their appearance to give up on that important life experience.

If your only option of having kids was with a 5'4" guy who didn't appeal to you physically (at all), would you?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well, if they thought I was ugly, why would they be with me? My non existent fortune? You should be attracted to your partner...I couldn't be with someone I thought of as 'ugly'. Fuckings great, but no one can do that every waking moment. You will have to talk to that person. And when you talk, you have to look at them. And there is way more talking than the cardinal pleasures. If you can look at them, and carry on even the most mundane conversations, that is the good place.

Fair, I agree with this in some respects. What if they said "you have the personality I always wanted but I just think you're ugly, and I wanna see if I can learn to like how you look in time?"

...that's a dark thought. I mean you'd have to actively dislike them or their appearance to give up on that important life experience.

If you're only option of having kids was with a 5'5" guy who didn't appeal physically, would you?

Lol if you saw my face reading that... ughhh that made me cringe so hard lool. I just dont know if I could do it. I really dont.

 

[Adamridge79]

Um. When I have the personality they want, then I'm the male counterpart to the one they're *******. It's the friend thing, and I have been privy to that numerous times. I serve one purpose at least.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Um. When I have the personality they want, then I'm the male counterpart to the one they're *******. It's the friend thing, and I have been privy to that numerous times. I serve one purpose at least.

See its the same with women lol nice girls are the wives, cooking and cleaning... mean girls... are the ones their husbands sleep with or at least wish they were sleeping with. It's like good partners are hard to find, because they have to balance both sides.

 

[Adamridge79]

Oh, no, when I cheated, is was from a serious disrespect and disgust. The one I never would have, cheated on me. Not sure how to untangle that karma.