tamu120
New member
I'm new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 43 y/o male from Texas, USA. Currently single, live alone, and experience loneliness every day. I have a full-time job, a home, a car, family, and casual acquaintances The experience of loneliness is something that's been with me for many years, even when I was married and in other intimate relationships. I've had a few friendships throughout the years, but none that I would consider to be very close and fulfilling. Even with friendships, even with relationships, the pervasive experience of loneliness engulfs me. For me, I realize it's not about the number of friends I have or have had throughout my life, it's the quality and the connection that matters. I've spent the better part of last year in therapy, reading self-help books, and am involved in an ACoA group to better understand myself and issues that contribute to the experiences in my life including loneliness. Loneliness is not something that can easily be remedied by joining a club, chatting online, or being in an intimate relationship...they can temporarily help one feel better and diminish a sense of isolation. I've done all of this, realizing in the end that happiness cannot be found outside of myself. I have to find true happiness and contentment from the inside with the answers coming from within. The yearning for friendships, the yearning for connections can only be truly manifest when I learn to love myself first and foremost. Learning to live with the painful emotions and exploring them fully while welcoming them has helped lessen the intensity of the pain that comes with loneliness.
I have examined patterns in my life that have contributed to the experience of loneliness. I've push down emotions and avoided experiencing them through the use of alcohol, cigarettes, medications, and relationships. I realize that growing up in a physically abusive and alcoholic household as a child can exact a heavy toll on a person's self-esteem, autonomy, sense of accomplishment, and development. There are no easy answers to managing this experience, as I believe it is very complex and elusive. I do, however, realize that in order to truly address and overcome loneliness, it has to start with me and that means learning to be more accepting of and compassionate with myself.
Rich
I have examined patterns in my life that have contributed to the experience of loneliness. I've push down emotions and avoided experiencing them through the use of alcohol, cigarettes, medications, and relationships. I realize that growing up in a physically abusive and alcoholic household as a child can exact a heavy toll on a person's self-esteem, autonomy, sense of accomplishment, and development. There are no easy answers to managing this experience, as I believe it is very complex and elusive. I do, however, realize that in order to truly address and overcome loneliness, it has to start with me and that means learning to be more accepting of and compassionate with myself.
Rich
