Hello introduction

[Mena11]

I am Mena
I am married not very happily.
Husband is not well due to arthritis. 
He doesn't like to go  anywhere or do anything.
He does work hard to help out financially.
He is A Veteran, therefore his personality is very off at times.
I feel like a restless Spirit behind a train wreck.
Anyone else stuck in a marriage?

 

[TheLoadedDog]

Not now, but I have been, Welcome aboard.

 

[Mena11]

Need Kelly your o here!!??

 

[Unix]

Wellcome, fortunately marriage is a problem I still don't have but I ha e many other things to compensate with

 

[frederico]

I am not married, and I am also young so probably I am not fully able to understand, but I believe it is very difficult to share your life with someone. After several years, the only reason why two people keep on living together is a child/children.
Hope you two will find a solution and solve your problem!

 

[Joturbo]

Hi Mena and Fredirico , welcome

But sorry got to disagree with you there Frederico .There are many reasons why couples  stay together for a lot longer than several years .I know this may sound unbelievable when your so young but you can even fall in love with someone again even after you have been close to splitting and go on to live many more years happily married .

A couple of years ago I was in hospital and a couple left reception after the husband had been given the all clear again. .I swear they looked in their late nineties and they left holding hands it was so sweet. The nurse told a couple near by that they had been married for  a very long time. 

 

[Mena11]

My reason is mostly Financial. I don't want to lose out on any money I worked hard for.
Also if something happens to the spouse PSST I can sell the house and move on with my life.
I just hate to start all over now ... Rock in a hard place my life is!;!;!!

 

[frederico]

Hi Mena and Fredirico , welcome

But sorry got to disagree with you there Frederico .There are many reasons why couples  stay together for a lot longer than several years .I know this may sound unbelievable when your so young but you can even fall in love with someone again even after you have been close to splitting and go on to live many more years happily married .

A couple of years ago I was in hospital and a couple left reception after the husband had been given the all clear again. .I swear they looked in their late nineties and they left holding hands it was so sweet. The nurse told a couple near by that they had been married for  a very long time. 

Hi Joturbo, thank you


Yes, probably I am not very experienced. I agree with you, that may exists. But, you know, is something that happens only few times. I am surrounded by situations in which something eventually goes wrong. 
Btw, I hope I will change my mind in the future!

 

[Joturbo]

That's unfortunate Fredirico that you view relationships like that and I can understand given what you see around you.But I see alot of long term relationships around me particularly with my friends ,relatives and neighbours.I'm sure as you say alot of those couples stay together for the kids and things do go wrong and my relationship has had its fair share of that .But it's worth sometimes sticking out the **** times in relationships because I do believe they can be turned around for the better. There is also that initial reason why people get married/get together in the first place and if you work at things and don't give up they can be repaired ,it's just my opinion .

 

[Brightside4]

Sorry to hear about your situation Mena. I felt trapped in a marriage for ~10 of the 20 years mainly because I thought it was the best way to protect my daughter. I'm not so sure now that it was the best decision, but I'm moving forward. One thing that gradually happened is I lost myself piece by piece. Fortunately there was still enough of me left to finally escape and start to rebuild.

You mention that your husband is not well, not up for doing anything. Is he at least kind to you and not emotionally or physically abusive? If so, don't take this for granted. How about friends? Can you go out and do things with friends? You should have a network of friends whether you stay in your marriage or not, so if you don't have this already, it may be worth putting some effort here. Maybe if you are going out with friends at least your marriage won't be such a burden.

In regards to finances, I have come up with the following priorities for myself in rebuilding my life. First priority: Mental Health. Second: Physical Health. Third: Financial Health. My theory is that you can have all the money and possessions in the world, but if you are not well mentally or physically, it just doesn't matter. For evidence of this look at all the celebrity suicides over the past few years. I also believe that if you are in a good place mentally and physically, then you are in a much better position to deal with any challenges on the financial side. As a result of this theory I just quit my stable job with excellent benefits a few weeks ago because I felt like I was unable to focus enough on my mental and physical health while working. I hope to work again once I sort things out.

Good luck to you!

 

[bleed_the_freak]

Better dump him. Marriage is meaningless anyway. Those vows...pfft.

---

My reason is mostly Financial. I don't want to lose out on any money I worked hard for.
Also if something happens to the spouse PSST I can sell the house and move on with my life.
I just hate to start all over now ... Rock in a hard place my life is!;!;!!

Jeeeeeeeeeeeezus

 

[DarkSelene]

what the ****