Hi

[wanderingspirit66]

Hi...Ok this will be new for me, went to check a old email account and saw a email from this forum, what is crazy is when I signed up a yr ago I don't think I honestly was ready but now seeing the signs etc and realizing I am now. For once I think I will be understood. But like someone starting a support group it sometimes can be difficult opening up. I found a article today and it explained alot to me https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...-people-dont-do/201901/can-you-die-loneliness
I have isolated myself for the last yr to the place I don't even want to leave my bed , and family get togethers I can't bring myself to go to anymore and of course I get grief for that from them, trying to get someone I was with for 13 yrs to leave my home, he refuses and not refusing to for us but his own as he says survival..I suffer from depression,severe anxiety stress disorder,ptsd and he suffers Bi Polar etc...which causes havoc with me ..my health has gotten worst and even when I try to explain to Drs they treat me like a hypochondriac..I know my health is going downhill..Like they say you know your own body..Just thought I would say Hi and will write more..going to be a feat due to I try and tell my family etc and they just don't get it...but I think the people in this forum will and like me reaching out to save themselves and others...again Thank you for having this forum..

 

[TheRealCallie]

Depression, anxiety and PTSD can actually impact your health, so if you think something is wrong, there actually could be. Keep looking for a doctor that will believe you. I hope you can find a way out of your situation. Is moving out yourself an option?

Welcome to the forum.

 

[user 135067]

It took 30 years for me to get my first diagnosis. The thing about doctors is they charge you plenty to give you the wrong care and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

On the bright side, once I found a doctor that gave the right tests I got diag' after diag'.

Some of my trouble came from multiple car crashes. Nothing obvious so it went untreated for years. Not relevant unless you've been through some physical trauma like crashes, or falling from a horse, etc. Impact is never without injury.

However, and I would urge everyone to to have the test. Have a doctor look for toxoplasmosis. They say it is a benign illness, but there is a lot of opposition to that. It is so common there are entire countries with 100% infection.

Some things it can cause are panic attacks, a complete disregard for consequences, difficulty controlling anger. It can live any where in the body but prefers the brain, particularly the amygdala, which is the emotional center for the brain. It can literally change your personality.

It cannot be cured but most can keep it in check with a healthy immune system. This is why many doctors say it is benign.

No infection is benign.

It hides from your immune system or antibiotics in cysts that protect it, but it can come out and colonize when your immune system is overworked, like while having a bad cold or flu.

Toxo is not fatal, which makes it a perfect organism. It takes from its host for their natural life. However, toxo is credited as being the cause of most deaths for people with AIDS.

If it gets out it can destroy brain tissue. The brain directs your entire body and mind. It can literally cause any series of symptoms.

This does not implacably mean it is your health problem even if you are infected. Also, it's not the only infection that can cause illness that seems to be "somataform" (somatic symptom disorder (SSD)) or hypochondria.

If you recall, Lyme disease was said to be mass hysteria when it first appeared.

When I hear hypochondriac the first thing I think of is toxoplasmosis. So should your doctor.

Any doctor that insists on psychosomatic disorder isn't worth their office fee. You cannot prove psychology, and yet if they find no evidence of illness they label you a nutcase, which is also an illness that they can find no evidence for. It is a diagnosis of convenience. It is a cop out.

After 30 years of bad diagnoses and being called a hypochondriac I was finally lab confirmed with six separate diagnoses that each one lists most of my symptoms. All those doctors were wrong. But a doctor (US law) has no legal responsibility to be right. For some, if they get paid for being wrong, why do the work to be right?

Once a doctor labels you as a hypochondriac or with SSD (e.g. hysterical blindness) then you can never trust that doctor again. Find a new one.

Sorry this is so long, but it really gets my goat at the lazy and damaging recklessness that some doctors write you off with. It cost me all respect from my family. I am now estranged, and although vindicated, I have no interest in reconciliation. If they couldn't support me when I needed them most, I have no expectation of them ever doing so.

 

[wanderingspirit66]

Depression, anxiety and PTSD can actually impact your health, so if you think something is wrong, there actually could be. Keep looking for a doctor that will believe you. I hope you can find a way out of your situation. Is moving out yourself an option?

Welcome to the forum.

Thanks..just feeling really overwhelmed right now sent that link to my folks trying to explain to them why I am acting like I am...of course my stepmom msg'd me and all she saw in the article was socializing is a person's choice and that I needed to volunteer at a church etc....she lives with a silver spoon and everything is church related to her...once she wanted me to drive her car and show her I could...I told her I knew how to drive etc...she replied a normal person wouldn't have a problem proving it...I suffer severe anxiety stress disorder,severe depression and ptsd...on ssdi and don't have the funds to move...she bought the mobile home I am in and very controlling as is my dad...this place is part of my inheritance and if sold the money will be controlled by them and I am not allowed to buy a place etc...sad thing is if they give you something there is always condtions ...so I try and ask for nothing from them. I'm 56 yrs old and ran my own home without their help,raised two kids without child support etc...and my dad still looks at me as a little girl...If you'd like I can share my story and even my psychiatrist and CADA is amazed of it...which has brought me to the place I am..I am a survivor and don't tell my story for sympathy but to show others they can survive too...I'm just close to my breaking point.

 

[wanderingspirit66]

Heres my story and better sit down for this : I was a hereoin baby at birth....first 3 yrs of my life was drinking vodka in my baby bottle with coke (the pop) and being sexually molested..at age 3 was given up for adoption to a minister's family....went thru yrs of abuse by my adopted mom..to the place in 1997 she wrote me a 7 page hate letter and will never forget her saying after having me 2 weeks she regretted the adoption but wasn't a puppy she could return to the pound, and how she would watch talk shows of adopted parents giving back their adopted child and she wish she could have etc...would be called a whore,satan's child,physically abused all when my dad wasn't home due to work with training minister's...got to the place of abuse that when hit wouldn't even flinch, messed my digestion system up due to enema's starting at around age 5...you didn't have a #2 that day you got a enema, you have a fever scalding hot bath,your toys and clothes etc were borrowed and she would take favorite toys in front of me and give them to another child..She always had a wire flyswatter on hand and trust me hit me alot with the wire end...would go to school with bruises to be told they didn't believe a minister's wife would abuse a child..I would have bumps all over my arms thinking it was acne but later in life found out it was hives from anxiety..she put fears in me leaving me in the back seat of the car telling me to hide while she shopped so no one would kidnap me...she taught manipulation therapy,reflexology etc and she adjusted my bones several times a day..I now have what they call frog legs which entails double hip dyplasia and my bones pop out alot...She told family I did drugs and had *** with others which was a lie..I didn't even know what pot was til my first husband which was a forced marriage...friends from high school witnessed the abuse etc..The first week married my ex held me up to the wall by my throat..at 18 lost my virginity to ****, my dad was furious and wanted to call the police but my mom said no, she wasn't going to have the **** tarnish their name. My dad still lives with rosy colored glasses. Before she died in 2012 she apologized for all the yrs of abuse and hate..that she wish she had given me a chance and been a mom like I was with my own two kids..told her she taught me not what to be...Have been in two abusive marriages,a very abusive relationship..in 1997 was ***** by two guys,nasty divorce,breakup of a abusive relationship etc and tried killing myself , that hate letter was what broke the camels back...even the psychiatrist said he fully understand why I tried...I tried 10 times within a yr! Haven't tried since 1999. I have been diagnoised also with fibromyalgia,severe psoriatic arthritis,frog legs,degenerative bone disease,neuropothy,slight scoliosis,high cholesterol and not from what I eat but for some reason have it, I had roux n y gastric bypass in 2009...I have scar tissue on my esophagus...two weeks ago went and had my throat stretched and was told they stretched as far as they could...also about 3 months ago started vomiting with spots of blood...called dr couldn't get a appt,went to a er and was given barium fluid for a upper gi and then got discharged without having a upper gi...the scope I just had also showed I had a bleeding ulcer and my stomach is now 13cm in size...also now they wonder if I have now had a mini stroke..Look up ratings of healthcare in TN and they have one of the worst...trying to figure out how to get a new bdrm door which I can't afford that the ex ripped off the frame etc...gotten to the place with my stepmom and won't tell my dad but her controlling so strong has made it I don't even want to visit them..last time I did I left in tears and a panic attack...she has good intentions but she doesn't realizing how damaging she can be...suppose to visit next weekend but starting to regret saying I would...my adopted mom kicked me out of the family 30 yrs ...so really my family is bikers, my friends and my 2 kids in MI....this is just a touch of my life...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Oh my goodness, you definitely have been through a lot. I'm sorry all that happened to you, no one deserves to be treated like that.

If your guy is abusive, have you considered a woman's shelter? Or what about eviction?

 

[wanderingspirit66]

Oh my goodness, you definitely have been through a lot. I'm sorry all that happened to you, no one deserves to be treated like that.

If your guy is abusive, have you considered a woman's shelter? Or what about eviction?

I'll be gone by april...my Dad is going to sell the place they bought ne which will go into a trust fund for me, then finacially while trying to sell the place paying for me to move back to MI..

 

[SquareBin]

that's rough, I hope now is a better time since january...

 

[user 188685]

Hello and welcome

 

[okidoke]

How is it all going now?

 

[user 139760]

Bit far in the past, but welcome. I hope your situation has improved.