Riven
New member
Hi everyone, nice to meet you. My username is Riven, based on the name of an old video game I liked.
I love video games, technology and staying at home,, but I'm also at home in the wilds, having grown up as a survivalist and hunter. One place I have never been comfortable is among other people. I tend to put on a complicated persona to please everyone, but eventually run out of energy to maintain it and exhaust myself.
I love writing flash fiction and short stories, though, like my heart the stories tend to be emotionally dark and overly complicated.
Ì struggle to find connections in real life and online. Sometimes I think I'm like that person who is slightly off, into a mental health problem spectrum, but who lacks the capacity for introspection required to identify or realize the problem, so they just feel continually out of phase with others.
Anyway, I just feel the need to express myself to others for better or worse. I've been alone for many years and have been okay since I'm an introvert, but lately I have been feeling this deep sadness. I keep dreaming lovely inspiring dreams of falling in love, holding someone, talking and laughing. I see her face and her smile as she stands there in the garden of my dreams. I dream of having a child and what they would be like, playing and laughing or riding on my shoulders. But when I wake up my only company is the silent loneliness. The dark reality of being in my fourties with an eccentric personality and how that limits my chances of overcoming loneliness creeps up on me from all sides; a cage of regret and bitter resignation.
That's me, see you on the forum.
I love video games, technology and staying at home,, but I'm also at home in the wilds, having grown up as a survivalist and hunter. One place I have never been comfortable is among other people. I tend to put on a complicated persona to please everyone, but eventually run out of energy to maintain it and exhaust myself.
I love writing flash fiction and short stories, though, like my heart the stories tend to be emotionally dark and overly complicated.
Ì struggle to find connections in real life and online. Sometimes I think I'm like that person who is slightly off, into a mental health problem spectrum, but who lacks the capacity for introspection required to identify or realize the problem, so they just feel continually out of phase with others.
Anyway, I just feel the need to express myself to others for better or worse. I've been alone for many years and have been okay since I'm an introvert, but lately I have been feeling this deep sadness. I keep dreaming lovely inspiring dreams of falling in love, holding someone, talking and laughing. I see her face and her smile as she stands there in the garden of my dreams. I dream of having a child and what they would be like, playing and laughing or riding on my shoulders. But when I wake up my only company is the silent loneliness. The dark reality of being in my fourties with an eccentric personality and how that limits my chances of overcoming loneliness creeps up on me from all sides; a cage of regret and bitter resignation.
That's me, see you on the forum.
