Hot/Cold ********

[ardour]

I've often wondered why certain people only appear to respect me when we've just met or once I've given up, resigned to moving on and become indifferent.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-theres-no-point-being-with-somebody-who-blows-hot-cold/

I found this post on the topic. I particularly liked this part: "What are you going to do? Keep doing these things in order to get attention from them? It’s only a matter of time until they recognise the pattern and then they will even become half-hearted in chasing after you. They realise you’re not really that serious" "It takes a thoughtless and/or rather self-involved individual to actually think that not only can they do this, but that they can essentially pull the same con on you numerous times without being noticed" . The lonely notice, but being desperate they're prepared to accept it.

Inconsistent people are bored by familiarity, only caring about what isn't available to them. They don't have the capacity for more; they can't "love" and they make terrible friends.

 

[kamya]

Never dealt with this. Doubt I ever will since as soon as they blow cold I'm pretty much over it.

 

[Case]

I've often wondered why certain people only appear to respect me when we've just met or once I've given up, resigned to moving on and indifferent.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-theres-no-point-being-with-somebody-who-blows-hot-cold/

I found this post on the topic. I particularly liked this part: "What are you going to do? Keep doing these things in order to get attention from them? It’s only a matter of time until they recognise the pattern and then they will even become half-hearted in chasing after you. They realise you’re not really that serious" "It takes a thoughtless and/or rather self-involved individual to actually think that not only can they do this, but that they can essentially pull the same con on you numerous times without being noticed" . The lonely notice, but being desperate they're prepared to accept it.

Inconsistent people are bored by familiarity, only caring about what isn't available to them. They don't have the capacity for more; they can't "love" and they make terrible friends.

If someone acts the way the article describes, these "hot and cold" people have their own finger on the eject button and are waiting for the moment to press it. They have fallen out of love long ago, and they are waiting for the right moment to EJECT.

Unless we're talking about narcissists, it has nothing to do with not being able to love, or performing a long con, or being terrible friends. It's about people who stop feeling love for someone. It happens all the time.

If this is happening to you, just be sure to push the eject button before the other person does.

 

[ardour]

If someone acts the way the article describes, these "hot and cold" people have their own finger on the eject button and are waiting for the moment to press it. They have fallen out of love long ago, and they are waiting for the right moment to EJECT.

Unless we're talking about narcissists, it has nothing to do with not being able to love, or performing a long con, or being terrible friends. It's about people who stop feeling love for someone. It happens all the time.

If this is happening to you, just be sure to push the eject button before the other person does.

Did you read it though? Because it refers to people who suddenly want to re-establish the relationship/friendship just after the other person is reconciled to it being over - that pattern of behaviour. Then they get bored, lose interest again and the cycle starts once more.

 

[Case]

Did you happen to read that? It's referring to the sort of people who suddenly want to re-establish the relationship/friendship just after the point where the other person is reconciled to it being over. Then they get bored, lose interest again and it starts over.

Yes, I read it, and it's not for me. She's definitely a "glass-is-half-empty" kinda gal.

 

[Solivagant]

Hot-and-cold drives me absolutely crazy. I've had a lot of experience with people who act that way. I used to just deal with it, but I got hurt too often and burnt out. Now my tolerance for it is much lower, and I've just learned not to invest myself in people the way I used to. It's not always easy though, I have to fight my natural inclinations.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I've often wondered why certain people only appear to respect me when we've just met or once I've given up, resigned to moving on and become indifferent.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-theres-no-point-being-with-somebody-who-blows-hot-cold/

I found this post on the topic. I particularly liked this part: "What are you going to do? Keep doing these things in order to get attention from them? It’s only a matter of time until they recognise the pattern and then they will even become half-hearted in chasing after you. They realise you’re not really that serious" "It takes a thoughtless and/or rather self-involved individual to actually think that not only can they do this, but that they can essentially pull the same con on you numerous times without being noticed" . The lonely notice, but being desperate they're prepared to accept it.

Inconsistent people are bored by familiarity, only caring about what isn't available to them. They don't have the capacity for more; they can't "love" and they make terrible friends.

I think some of the time it is simply because a person is in a good or bad mood.

This lass today at work, she was friendly towards me, very chatty. I know tomorrow she will be opposite and hardly speak. I don't think there is a problem or it's because of 'me' - she is just a moody person.

 

[Peaches]

Never dealt with this. Doubt I ever will since as soon as they blow cold I'm pretty much over it.

same here, I mean, not in the past but in recent years, absolutely