How can serial killers get girlfriends but "nice guys" can't?

[Runciter]

Bring on the aardvarks!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Vanilla, not that I'm disagreeing with you, but there have been numerous studies on this that prove my point.

And in the animal kingdom, it is true. We are animals.

There's too many variables in the way humans react for those studies to ring true for everyone. Not saying that it's not the case at all, but it's not true for everyone. There's good, predictable people as well as bad, predictable people. Then there are good, unpredictable people, and bad, unpredictable.

For example (and this isn't to argue with you, I'm just simply putting my thoughts out there), a husband/boyfriend comes home from work and beats his wife/girlfriend. It's predictable, because she expects it nearly every night. Is it good? No, certainly not.

Say you have a girlfriend, who on a whim tells you to get dressed, you two are going out. And she takes you to the place that you've always wanted to go, but just never have. Or she takes you to your favorite place - a restaurant, Disney World, Niagra Falls... Was it predictable? No. Surely when you woke up that morning, you didn't expect to be in a place you love. Was it bad? I wouldn't think so.

It's not always so cut/paste/dry, and I personally think studies are quite irrelevant to dictate behaviors. Just because the majorities of them find that one particular way is the most common path, doesn't mean it is always the only path.

Edit: Run, haha! That's kind of cute.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Somehow I doubt that I would ever be an alpha male, even if I had the muscles. I have a shy and quiet personality.

How do you change years of conditioning? These guys who are treated as superior have been treated that way since they were in elementary school.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You're not in high school anymore. And I don't know where this misconception started from, but you don't need to be an "alpha male" in order to have a woman in your life. As far as the conditioning, man, I don't know. That change doesn't lie within other people, but starts with you.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It lies in how other people treat me.

I have never been treated like a sexually attractive male by a female. I have been shown to be likeable, to be kind, to be someone that people appreciate, but women don't seem to appreciate my looks OR personality.

This stems back before I even questioned why I was single. Man, at age 20, I didn't care that I had never had a girlfriend. I was still very confident, and would flirt...I just wouldn't get any reaction back. I didn't get disgust, but more of neutrality...I simply was "just there", a guy who was treated as gay or asexual, even by the women that he desired.

 

[Runciter]

You're not in high school anymore. And I don't know where this misconception started from, but you don't need to be an "alpha male" in order to have a woman in your life. As far as the conditioning, man, I don't know. That change doesn't lie within other people, but starts with you.

+1

Being "alpha," is a state of mind, not how others perceive you.

I do so hate all this "alpha," crap though, it really means nothing in the real world.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It lies in how other people treat me.

I have never been treated like a sexually attractive male by a female. I have been shown to be likeable, to be kind, to be someone that people appreciate, but women don't seem to appreciate my looks OR personality.

It lies in how you react to people. Many people don't want to see themselves as the reason why. People treat you all different types of ways. However, you react the same every time. Not everyone can be wrong. You think females wouldn't be attracted to you because that's what you believe of yourself. And I highly doubt there's not been one female - whether you knew it or not - that's not been attracted to you. Of course you wouldn't notice it if that's just something you really believe will never happen. It's like a shooting star. Yeah, they happen, but if you're not looking up at the sky, you'll never see it.

 

[blackdot]

I have never been treated like a sexually attractive male by a female. I have been shown to be likeable, to be kind, to be someone that people appreciate, but women don't seem to appreciate my looks OR personality.

I would say that I am the same except in my mid to late 20's I kept getting married women who wanted to have affairs with me. One even came to my house and tried to jump me.

Unfortunately I just never had a thing for women that are currently married. *laughs*

---

I do so hate all this "alpha," crap though, it really means nothing in the real world.

Actually it means a lot. It means how much control you get, how people perceive you, how people want to do what you tell them. etc...

The alpha stuff is mostly subconscious so it's not something you can easily just become.

I personally don't want to be an alpha.

 

[Runciter]

Actually it means a lot. It means how much control you get, how people perceive you, how people want to do what you tell them. etc...

The alpha stuff is mostly subconscious so it's not something you can easily just become.

I personally don't want to be an alpha.

It's not the concept of alpha males I hate, it's the worth people put into it. Ideas like girls only like alphas and all alphas are mean. I was brought up in a dangerous part of London and learned how to carry myself as someone who isn't a victim. Since moving to the tame countryside I have noticed that the confidence I've carried from my upbringing has given me a lot more self-belief and my mindset has become more alpha-orientated.
Doesn't means I'm all of a sudden more of a *******, or more able to get women. I'm still a nice-guy and I still treat women the same. I just have more confidence because my environment is a lot less threatening than I'm used to.

 

[blackdot]

ah.... gotcha.
yeah. the idea that women only like alphas is nonsense.

 

[Iceman1978]

My two cents on alpha males:

-A man who mistreats others (men or women) is not an alpha. Mistreating others is a sign of deep insecurities and the need to build oneself up by putting others down. An alpha male is secure in who he is, confident in his abilities, knows his limitations, and doesn't let the opinion of others determine his opinion of himself.

-An alpha male is respected by his peers not because he exerts domination over them, but because he has leadership skills, competence, and intelligence. In a business setting, the alpha knows that he is not able to do everything, that he needs a team. He values the teams input, contributions, and will give them recognition for their skills and work. He deals with people fairly and honestly, knowing that in a time of crisis they will stand behind him.

-An alpha male is calm and relaxed. An alpha knows how to maintain calm in a time of crisis, and will help others to remain calm as well. They will view mistakes not as failure, but only a setback with which they can learn from.

(more to come)

 

[Sterling]

[video=youtube]

 

[Minus]

Gotta give up dogs????

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

[video=youtube]

Okay, major revision. I watched the last four minutes of her video, which makes a hell of a lot more sense than her first two minutes.

And she is right. I hate to admit it, because she is also annoying, but she is right.

 

[VanillaCreme]

She's not annoying. I rather like her videos. Funny and entertaining at least. I especially agree with the one about marriage.

 

[Felix]

So she wants to prove wrong the "nice guys finish last" generalization with the "all models are dumb" generalization. Nice. Yet another "muh truth is the real deal" YouTube video, with someone talking non stop making faces like they're in front of a mirror... It's annoying for me at least. I'd rather not feed your narcissistic need to be watched thank you.

 

[blackdot]

Okay, major revision. I watched the last four minutes of her video, which makes a hell of a lot more sense than her first two minutes.

And she is right. I hate to admit it, because she is also annoying, but she is right.

My word. The woman is psychotic.
And she wasn't right. Unless by right you mean insane.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

She's not annoying. I rather like her videos. Funny and entertaining at least. I especially agree with the one about marriage.

If you mean that she proves the snotty blond bimbo stereotype well, then you're right.

But if you mean that she phrases her arguments in anything that is less of what I would expect of Paris Hilton, then you're incorrect. She's incredibly annoying. Learn to talk normally, and not like you're on some reality tv show.

 

[Iceman1978]

She certainly could have done without the foul language.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, I lose respect for women when they talk like that.

Big edit, after some thought...

I said originally that it's talking like a man, but real men don't talk like that. Little boys and little teenagers do.

It just strikes me as childish, immature, and stupid to talk like that. Irregardless of gender. It makes me feel superior, because I know I don't have to resort to language like that to prove my point, and it could have been put in a different way, and emphasized the same point.