How do I help my brother?

[co10682]

My brother has bipolar disorder. He has never really been social at all, and most cases try to avoids people. He is currently 25, living with my mom and dad. He has no intention of leaving the house, looking for jobs, or wants to try in life. All he does is play video games on his computer, watches movies in his room, and draws abstract art. He tells me he is going to try to sell his art to make money, which everyone knows, thats no way to make money.

He believes in his art so much, that it is almost heart breaking to tell him, he will never succeed in life trying to sell his art. I asked him recently what his plans where, he told me he is going to try to sell art and if that doesn't work he might think about getting a job. This has been going on for over 5 years.

My mom and dad know about this situation, but are not sure how or what to do to help him. He can't keep a job, he has panic attacks where he can't do anything. His medicine doesn't work because he gets reallly angry and really happy randomly. Although some times he becomes angry to the point where he doesn't want anyone to bother him at all.

What do I do? My parents are not trying hard enough to help him, I feel like this weight has fallen on me and it is up to me to save him from this problem.

 

[SophiaGrace]

A lot of people here are going to say "your parents need to get tough with this young man"

But clearly, his mental illness is debilitating to the point where he cannot obtain employment. To get tough with him would be to humiliate him and probably mean throwing him out on the streets. Which I think is no way to help him. Besides, no one would willingly choose this sort of social annihilation (being mentally ill, not being able to keep a job, not having friends etc) willingly. Too much stigma.

Is he in therapy? Maybe he could become a comic-book artist? They make money. Has he tried selling his art on ebay?

I wish he would TRY to get a job (you said he had no intention). I mean, if he was consistently trying to get a job, i would respect him more as a person that tried despite his mental disability. You know?

This might give you ideas for your brother: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/med/

 

[nerdygirl]

It sounds like he needs to look into some other medication.

 

[IgnoredOne]

There's too little information to go in depth, but a combination of medication and cognitive behaviorial therapy may help him. What's important is that he gets help and that he has enough, but not too much pressure, to keep working on himself. Everyone can improve, even if its not to the same extent.

 

[Sci-Fi]

He believes in his art so much, that it is almost heart breaking to tell him, he will never succeed in life trying to sell his art.

This statement actually bothers me. What authority are you to make this assumption? He could do just fine for himself with selling his art. It's not an easy business to get into but if he has any kind of talent he could sell a few pieces to help out at home.

 

[Limlim]

It's possible his art clearly sucks and he's telling us this in a diplomatic way.

 

[Sci-Fi]

One persons trash is another persons treasure. There is quite a bit of trash out there that passes as art these days. Some people have this idea in there head that there is no future in (insert career here) so they automatically think the way OP does.

 

[LoneKiller]

I'm not proud of it, but when I displayed those particular symptoms, my doctor prescribed "Risperdol"/Risperdal"/"Risperdone". It worked wonders for me. Unless you have already tried it, I think that maybe you should discuss it with your doctor. You have my sympathies with respect to your brother's condition. I hope that he can get well for himself, you, and your parents.

http://www.drugs.com/risperdal.html

 

[jean-vic]

There is a woman who hung a whistle from a door handle and it was an abstract masterpiece, with people stood around it talking about what it meant and the possible connotations of a whistle hanging from a door knob. There is a world famous artist who distorts large pieces of metal, and he doesn't distort them into anything of note either. He might bend them a little. In one gallery, he has a big chunk of metal with nothing done to it just sat in a room with people walking around it admiring it and talking about it and what it symbolises. Now to me, neither of these two are artists. They're people who did nothing and get praised for it. But to others, they are groundbreaking, revolutionary artists. Visionaries, even.

So, to say your brother's abstract art has no chance may not be accurate. I'd at least try and encourage him with it while pushing down other routes that could be a help.

 

[RJLJD]

if your brother wants to pursue art, and there's someone out there who sees talent in him and is willing to support him in it, then he should pursue art. it doesn't sound like he has much support though.
on the other hand, he SHOULD have a backup in case art doesn't work out for him.
in some ways, seems to me everyone's a little at fault here.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Maybe you could help him find a job that requires drawing skill. Granted, abstract art is one of those things anyone can do. If he believes his art will pay the bills. I guess you need to nag him to sell it. Just make a daily habit of asking him who be has spoken to about the art. Second make sure he is regularly making art. Part of being professional is pulling things out of your ass. I run my own opinion website. I don't update it as often as I should. However, that is not my lively hood. I pay for it myself while I work a full-time job.

That is all I can really think of. You need to support him. Which also means you are going to have to give up a chunk of your time.

 

[annik]

I actually feel a little angry reading this. I realise you care about your brother and want to help him but it is not your job to fix him. Any over interference I don't think is going to go down well with him. I know this because I have problems, don't have a job and still live at home and my sister is always trying to "sort me out" and tell me what to do and it really does nothing but harm. Any good improvement in his situation is only going to happen when he wants it to, its up to him. Constantly nagging at him about his art or trying to get him to do this that and the other may only make him throw up a wall and retreat more. How you can help him is by being a good brother, helping him if and when he asks for it and supporting him.

I agree with what a lot of people have said about his art too. I see no reason why maybe he couldn't make a go of it. If he has a passion thats what you need to nurture because that passion for something might just be the thing that helps him turn his life around.

Also I have to disagree with you AFrozenSoul abstract art is not something anyone can do. Just throwing paint on the floor does not make you Jackson *******.