How Do I Stop Defeating Myself

[Lonesome Crow]

I recently met a new freind about a month and a half ago.
He was doing OK. He had a job and I GF too. But he was always negative.
He saw his GF everyday but it wasnt enough for him.
Then he started drinking....I warned him....At first it was OK. He was joking around all the time...but always about negative ****....
Slowly I didnt want to hang out with him anymore...but he was my friend...
But got worst and worst...He started fighting wiht his GF all the time....then wonder Why she dosnt want to talk to him all the time...Cause he was complaining all the time. It gave ne a headache to be around him...

He would call me 20 times p day...
It was crazy....

His life got worst and worst as the days went on.

and he was always asking me how come I would be pisitve inspite of the **** I was going though myself?

Firs and formost...I dont like feeling like **** and depressed...

 

[IgnoredOne]

It is difficult to get out and socialize when I don't have the support of a girlfriend to come home to.

After all, what do I want from women? Companionship no, love not really, a friend not really, sex yup.

Do you see a conflict in those two statements?

 

[Naleena]

There are no failures, only setbacks, so as long as we remember to learn from our mistakes.

Nice. I'm nicking that. Hope you don't mind. Oh wait...I'm BORROWING it so now I know I don't have to give it back. **giggles**

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Lonesome Crow: Well at the rate I am going I will be lucky to make it to 35. I know what you mean about not liking feeling depressed. That is what inspired my initial decision to go for these goals.

I guess my main problem is that I do not know where to look to see the lighter side of things.

@IgnoredOne: Yes I do, and you miss my point. It is easier to accomplish goals when you have someone to come home to and vent about them. Especially someone who extracts semen for you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

LOL...Im getting an anxiety attack.
Ive been getting them for a couple of days...I feel like **** @ the moment.

My life is a freaken mess @ the moment compaired how I used to live.
Everything is up in the air...
Sometimes I feel so damn fustrated @ Renae and our daughter. @ the moment
if I react...I wanna bitch slapp both of them.LOL

Yeah.. I get ya...when I was 18. I didnt think I lived past 21.
When I turned 21..I didnt think I lived past 30. When I turn 30..I didnt think I live past 40..when 40 came around...

Wheather I thought I was going through middle age criises or not...A **** load of events happened. **** that turned my life up side down and inside out.
I lived in a nice home. Had a nice job, had a nice GF..my mice chooshie life
went out the fucken window

So Im 45 now...a crap load of bombshell.
Things that I could never imgained.
but here I am. I dont really know what to think of it. If I think too much about..Itll drive me crazy. The circumstance that surrounds the ones I love.

I came simply walk away for all of it.
I feel overwhelm by everythng.

Ive cried many tears for women becuase of broken relationships..

Its relitively pailed in comparison for the tears Ive cried for Kimmie.

I must be strong for my daguhter..though somedays If feel weak and dont know if I can go on.
At 45..I feel tired, and werried. I dont have that bounce back like I used to in my youth.

Perserance, adversities,, patience and tolerance are some of the principles..I dont even want to hear or deal with..
All these things pops into my mind as a part of me dont wanna go on anymore. .
WHY me???
Yes..yes...I heard this before too
" WHY NOT ME?".
You know whats Funny???

I hanvt had a twitch from my right eye
for decades...

For the past couple of weeks...My right eye had been twitching like crazzzy.LOL
I feel like laughing and crying all at the sametime.....Its a wickage kindda sensation

It had been over an hour and my since i lasted posted. My freaken right eye is still twiching.
Its really annoying. My anxiety had gone away.
Talking to some of my freinds helped

 

[IgnoredOne]

@IgnoredOne: Yes I do, and you miss my point. It is easier to accomplish goals when you have someone to come home to and vent about them. Especially someone who extracts semen for you.

If you're looking for emotional support because of sex, it still is seeking companionship. If you're seeking someone to listen to you vent, it is definitely seeking companionship. I think that you're somewhat self-defeating by putting relationships in such tawdy terms as you appear to insist on.

Unless all you want is to kidnap a girl and chain her next to her bed, something like that reuqires communication and communication requires times to understand how women often perceive relationships and life. I find that you're not very interested and seem to argue with women about how /they/ perceive relationships, which is as self-defeating as telling a woman on how pregnancy feels; there's no really sensible way to argue with someone on how /they/ feel - because feelings as individual and are really rather excluded from the realm of logical debate.

I could tell you that crows fill me with an unnatural need to hug, and there's no way for you to argue with me otherwise. You could say that its illogical, and perhaps it is, but it is still a feeling, and it is still true to me.

I'm psychologically diagnosed as a sociopath - we literally perceive life as according to its most utiliarian value to us, and even so, I've similar appreciate how nice it is to have someone to come home to. So I logically proceeded to how to most faciliate to have that, and providing what women, or at least, what my women wanted. Its not an extremely complicated equation - if I wanted something, I would need to give something.

If you just want sex, its possible to pay for it. Somehow, though, I don't see how that's the solution to all your desires.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Lonesome Crow: I guess a lot of people say they won't live past a certain age.  I guess it is how we view it.  I know I don't want to live past 55.  That is different then thinking I won't make it.

I mostly worry because there will come a day when I won't have a dependent.  One day my cat will die.  With her death will go anyone who is relying on me to take care of them.  Right now I suffer along slowly because she is here to annoy me and love me.

I have thought "Why Not Me" a lot recently more than the "Why Me" idea.  So yes I can relate to that.  In the end I guess my constitution feels like it is failing.  I guess I have to remember that my mental constitution fails when I let it fail.

@IgnoredOne: Ok I can appreciate your reply here.  Taking words that can have a very atomic meaning and using them to prove your point.  Again, I can appreciate that.  Though I would say that I am seeking a chemical release from sex, not an emotional one.  All the wonderful chemicals that come out of sex make any day a good day.  Why do you think there are baby booms whenever national tragedies happen?

maybe I will go kidnap me a girl and chain her up.  That could be fun.  Granted I don't really seem to recall talking about womens feelings in this particular thread.  Please attack me on the thread in question.  I am taking about my feelings based on my experiences and what I desire.  The in particular statement you initially attacked was based off of my experiences.  When you are trying to improve yourself it is easier for you to stand back up when you fail if you have someone, like a girlfriend, to make you feel good about yourself again.

As for sex being the fix to me.  You are right, raw sex is not the fix.  My fix lies in the gaining of the ability to woo and seduce women.  To separate make sure I become a mate and my definition of mate is at least understood by her.  So you are correct in that term.  I use sex as an example because that is my ultimate goal.  I know very well that there are plenty of steps and other skills required to get the kind of fulfillment I seek.

So using your amazing sociopath logic.  Help me understand how you logically conclude why you should never give up?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yeap..I know what you mean.

Pussy loves me and annoys me too.lol

 

[AFrozenSoul]

XD well I wish mine was that kind of pussy. Mine is an actual cat

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I like to pet the pussy..Make it purrrrrrr.
Then it's always rubbing against me.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Mind was headbutting me this morning. >_> mean old kitty.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im still listening to my positive self talk recordings and gratitude list..

I stll have negative thoughts poping into my head but I selftalk myself out it rather quicker now.

My Sweetie wants us to relocate. She ask me to reserch on the locations as a prpject we can both work on togehter....

Its a little different this time...The last I said I move with her wherever she wants.. It was totally an amazing journey. It was some measure of my love for her like the song say...
"anywhere say anywhere..just as long as Im with you"
Kimmie gets it. She knows I love her mother very much..

Ive alway read something that gose like this.....
Be as a ship sailing across the ocean.
Stay a float and dont drown youself in it.

The wisdom behind that is not lose yourself or get drown in life.

The sail boat also dosnt make a straight line during its jouirney...lots of zig zagging...

This journey of ours had been realitively the same..Lots of adjustments of our sails but we reach our destination if we remianed positive.