How do you manage suicidal thoughts when you know you're not allowed to do it?

[Jessicat]

Yes.
You have ****s to die for. 
Make the most out of them.

 

[bearcat22]

Actually, I'm very surprised this thread exists or is even locked, the site owners seem to have
put up some pretty strong threats about discussing this.

I think an important question to ask is, who owns a life?

Does your life belong to you?  Or does it belong to a government?  Are you in fact a slave, or
do you have free will?

Now, can things interfere with the ability to make the best choice? Sure.  That is always true, yet
government allows us to make bad choices like getting credit cards or having babies without any 
restrictions.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it is possible to find people who are worse off than you are.
Really worse off, and on some rare occasions, no matter how messed up your life is, you can
actually do something to truly help those people.

Sometimes that can make some of pain feel less.

I wish I had more, but that's all I've got.

 

[user 139760]

Actually, I think you may miscontrue a bit how the site works. I've never seen a thread shut down or locked with a difficult subject or theme, as long as people remain respectful of others opinions. Agre to disagree and all that. What motivates censoring or closing of a subject is generally when those rules are ignored, such as hateful comments or prejudicial stereotypes. I do sincerely believe this forum's mission is to tackle difficult issues and things that are not easily talkable, as long as it is done with other people's respect in mind. Civism is what I believe is boiled down to, really.

As pertains to your comments, you make interesting points, which I've also considered in the past. That, simply because of the social systems we live in, such feelings are to some extent manufactured by how we live. The need to go to school not to necessarily learn, but to make sure you get the best possible job, to afford the best living, so you can pay your taxes and not go to jail, which puts pressure on everyone. More fragile people, and that's not a criticism but a fact of life, not everyone is able/can/is built to handle different stresses the same way, can find this unbearable and have difficulties because of it, because they're simply not built that way. So how much is it our own "faults", how much responsibilities do our governments have for pushing us to perform or get left in the dirt and is indirectly the cause of mental distress? Interedting. I think it inscribes itself in a broader dynamic though, most people have these thoughts in response of more immediate or personal issues.

But again, ressources are cruelly lacking and tend to concentrate towards economy. Govs always have a billion to give a bank, but opening a center for social reinsertion for example, is always a hassle. That DOES contribute to those issues.

In my personal case, its more immediate, eg, having lived intense emotional events without time to catch a breath and the inability to reorient my life in the direction I want. Because of those mental and financial issues. Ressources just arent there to deal with that. So you get stuck in limbo. Get told to "be strong". Well...strenght has a limit to everyone at some point. You need a lil bit of positive to be able to recognize it.

 

[bearcat22]

Actually, I think you may miscontrue a bit how the site works. I've never seen a thread shut down or locked with a difficult subject or theme, as long as people remain respectful of others opinions. Agre to disagree and all that. What motivates censoring or closing of a subject is generally when those rules are ignored, such as hateful comments or prejudicial stereotypes. I do sincerely believe this forum's mission is to tackle difficult issues and things that are not easily talkable, as long as it is done with other people's respect in mind. Civism is what I believe is boiled down to, really.

As pertains to your comments, you make interesting points, which I've also considered in the past. That, simply because of the social systems we live in, such feelings are to some extent manufactured by how we live. The need to go to school not to necessarily learn, but to make sure you get the best possible job, to afford the best living, so you can pay your taxes and not go to jail, which puts pressure on everyone. More fragile people, and that's not a criticism but a fact of life, not everyone is able/can/is built to handle different stresses the same way, can find this unbearable and have difficulties because of it, because they're simply not built that way. So how much is it our own "faults", how much responsibilities do our governments have for pushing us to perform or get left in the dirt and is indirectly the cause of mental distress? Interedting. I think it inscribes itself in a broader dynamic though, most people have these thoughts in response of more immediate or personal issues.

But again, ressources are cruelly lacking and tend to concentrate towards economy. Govs always have a billion to give a bank, but opening a center for social reinsertion for example, is always a hassle. That DOES contribute to those issues.

In my personal case, its more immediate, eg, having lived intense emotional events without time to catch a breath and the inability to reorient my life in the direction I want. Because of those mental and financial issues. Ressources just arent there to deal with that. So you get stuck in limbo. Get told to "be strong". Well...strenght has a limit to everyone at some point. You need a lil bit of positive to be able to recognize it.


Well, I suppose eventually there will be riots and even civil war.   Happening now in the modern world, Paris.
Going to come here.  An interesting thing to look up on Google is the huge underground safehouse bunker 
that has been built by the family that owns Wall Mart so they can hide out and survive.
    They know it's not gonna be Chinese soldiers coming for them.
It's gonna be american people who can't take any more of the way life is now.

 

[JAX]

I've had this problem unevenly in my life, but accutely in the last two years. Intensely since the 28 of december. I no longer enjoy life. I've reached the limit on how much suffering I can endure. The last few days have been crying bouts and the shakes coming back. I want to end it all. But I'm not allowed to. I cant do that to my family, which still loves me for some unfathomable reason. And Im scared of there being nothing on the other side. Not to mention the pain. All of which only makes it worse.

How can you continue living like this? How do you force yourself to get better when all you feel is hopelessness, pain and an urge to have it all end?

I think we all have a couple of choices on this.  Give up on life  or find purpose in life.  Purpose, peace, joy can take some time to find.  It's almost like a treasure hunt for those of us who are not so easily entertained with the glitter or distraction of this world.  It seems like you have GREAT reasons to not give up.  Instead of saying you aren't allowed to do that-- maybe take the power back and say "I choose not to do that" so what other choices do I have.  Since you know that you do have a reason to live then you have to focus on finding a life worth living--- search for the purpose of your life.  I'm not saying this as a mamby pamby answer.  I'm genuinely asking you to pray and seek out why you are here.  There are aspects to life that does stink and when you aren't in a mentally healthy state then it seems like joy can't be found anywhere.   Alternatively, when you are in healthy mentally and spiritually, then it seems like finding joy in the simplest things can be easy.  The answer  to hang in there and wait for better days is not one we want to hear.  But, that is the simple truth of it.  Wait.  There are days ahead for you that are fun and enjoyable--- mundane things---- simplicity of life things.   As a person who has struggled with not wanting to live and family members who have struggled, I search for peace and a joy in what the world is not offering.  I'm a woman of faith and I know that the only answer is found in being at peace with God.  Finding my purpose and hanging on during the really dark times because there is joy to be had---- is worth it.  Fight the good fight!  For YOU and your kids.  I'm going to link to some articles that I find helpful.   Looking up from the stubborn darkness.  

 

[bearcat22]

That's because life is not all sunshine and rainbows.  **** happens.  You can get through it, you're just too depressed right now to see it.

Yes and no. You're not wrong, but you're also not right. Everyone comes with a ******** meter and eventually, it pops. We're not supermen and women. Not anymore.

Don't listen to any of that total CRAP.

There factually ARE things you CANNOT GET THROUGH and no amount of moronic
optimism changes that.


Sure, you can walk out in the desert and start to die of thirst, but you CHOOSE
to say, "Oh this delicious sand is really water" and start eating sand.

Yup, you'll die happy and the Optimist Club will put a Gold Star on your corpse.

How about offering to write a ******* CHECK to achieve an actual tangible positive worthwhile
honest and useful improvement in someone's life instead of
being the ******* "Church Lady" preaching out:

"OH, Isn't that SPECIAL, you have SUCH a good attitude!"

**** that, and **** them. To DEATH.

Some things are NOT EVER GETTING BETTER.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, someone got their knickers all in a twist, now didn't they? lol

 

[AmyTheTemperamental]

Well, someone got their knickers all in a twist, now didn't they?  lol

A church lady who only enjoys the missionary position once a month. You are sure outdoing yourself lately :club:

 

[user 139760]

That's because life is not all sunshine and rainbows.  **** happens.  You can get through it, you're just too depressed right now to see it.

Yes and no. You're not wrong, but you're also not right. Everyone comes with a ******** meter and eventually, it pops. We're not supermen and women. Not anymore.

Don't listen to any of that total CRAP.

There factually ARE things you CANNOT GET THROUGH and no amount of moronic
optimism changes that.


Sure, you can walk out in the desert and start to die of thirst, but you CHOOSE
to say, "Oh this delicious sand is really water" and start eating sand.

Yup, you'll die happy and the Optimist Club will put a Gold Star on your corpse.

How about offering to write a ******* CHECK to achieve an actual tangible positive worthwhile
honest and useful improvement in someone's life instead of
being the ******* "Church Lady" preaching out:

"OH, Isn't that SPECIAL, you have SUCH a good attitude!"

**** that, and **** them. To DEATH.

Some things are NOT EVER GETTING BETTER.

I agree.
But NO, I would not "**** them to death".
Maybe you missed the part I spoke about earlier, about civism and respect. If you can't get that through your skull, well my friend, I won't listen to anything you have to offer.
If you feel the need to be vindictive, I'll ask this thread be locked myself because some people can't talk about anything without throwing tantrums worthy of four year olds.

 

[TheRealCallie]

That's because life is not all sunshine and rainbows.  **** happens.  You can get through it, you're just too depressed right now to see it.

Yes and no. You're not wrong, but you're also not right. Everyone comes with a ******** meter and eventually, it pops. We're not supermen and women. Not anymore.

I'm going to come back to this because I'd like to say something else.  Yes, everyone has a ******** meter and yes, sometimes it pops.  BUT, that doesn't necessarily mean the end, case closed, I'm done.
I think I have come to know you a little since you came here and I 100% do NOT think THIS is what is going to  break you.  Yes, you are struggling right now. I'm not disputing that.  I'm not disputing that it's hard for you.  But look at everything you've already been through and come out of?  This is so far beneath all of that.  What happened is also ******** and is in no way reflective of who you really are.

So yes, in this situation, I do feel that it's your mood and depression talking and you WILL get through it.

 

[user 139760]

That's because life is not all sunshine and rainbows.  **** happens.  You can get through it, you're just too depressed right now to see it.

Yes and no. You're not wrong, but you're also not right. Everyone comes with a ******** meter and eventually, it pops. We're not supermen and women. Not anymore.

I'm going to come back to this because I'd like to say something else.  Yes, everyone has a ******** meter and yes, sometimes it pops.  BUT, that doesn't necessarily mean the end, case closed, I'm done.
I think I have come to know you a little since you came here and I 100% do NOT think THIS is what is going to  break you.  Yes, you are struggling right now. I'm not disputing that.  I'm not disputing that it's hard for you.  But look at everything you've already been through and come out of?  This is so far beneath all of that.  What happened is also ******** and is in no way reflective of who you really are.

So yes, in this situation, I do feel that it's your mood and depression talking and you WILL get through it.

Dunno, Cal. Really don't. Is it really beneath so much? One's impact was emotional. This one's also physical and will affect my future. I was a bit more optmistic yesterday, but today with no interviews or calls and still no job...Im jumping around like a bat out of hell and it aint doing much.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Could it have anything to do with the fact that you really have nothing to keep you "busy" right now? Is there anywhere you could volunteer or something? Just to get you out and doing things again. So you aren't left to just sit and think about everything.

 

[user 150037]

Or take up a creative project. Another option.

 

[user 139760]

Everything really costs money and im speding as little as I can , including bus tickets. I could walk, but its -20 something celcius for the next 3 days or so...

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's always -20 up there, man up! Lol

 

[bearcat22]

That's because life is not all sunshine and rainbows.  **** happens.  You can get through it, you're just too depressed right now to see it.

Yes and no. You're not wrong, but you're also not right. Everyone comes with a ******** meter and eventually, it pops. We're not supermen and women. Not anymore.

Don't listen to any of that total CRAP.

There factually ARE things you CANNOT GET THROUGH and no amount of moronic
optimism changes that.


Sure, you can walk out in the desert and start to die of thirst, but you CHOOSE
to say, "Oh this delicious sand is really water" and start eating sand.

Yup, you'll die happy and the Optimist Club will put a Gold Star on your corpse.

How about offering to write a ******* CHECK to achieve an actual tangible positive worthwhile
honest and useful improvement in someone's life instead of
being the ******* "Church Lady" preaching out:

"OH, Isn't that SPECIAL, you have SUCH a good attitude!"

**** that, and **** them. To DEATH.

Some things are NOT EVER GETTING BETTER.

I agree.
But NO, I would not "**** them to death".
Maybe you missed the part I spoke about earlier, about civism and respect. If you can't get that through your skull, well my friend, I won't listen to anything you have to offer.
If you feel the need to be vindictive, I'll ask this thread be locked myself because some people can't talk about anything without throwing tantrums worthy of four year olds.

I did not miss your reference to "civism".  A genuinely good citizen 
does not conform, he resists.   You might find this useful in that regard:
https://www.ibiblio.org/ebooks/Thoreau/Civil Disobedience.pdf

As for respect, unless truth is held above all else in terms of respect, nothing
worthwhile can ever be said.  If you can't get that through your skull, well my friend, I won't listen to anything you
have to offer.

If you had any genuine concern about posters being vindictive, you would be reporting the
obvious harpy here going around playing Church Lady, not criticizing me.

By all means, try to get the thread locked.  No loss to me

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