Hi, I'd like to ask you for some advise. I've been with someone with depression for 20 years. I can see them struggling but feel helpless. Nothing I try changes much and the situation seems to get worse with time. How to help someone close with depression who otherwise doesn't want to be treated or helped professionally? I take into account that I may be the part of the problem, that I may be not enough and be doing something wrong but let's put this aside for a moment. I'd rather not go to into details and am looking for some general clues for now. Thank you!
How to help someone with depression
- Thread starter user15010
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
JJW
Well-known member
Depression can be aided with simple treatment. Licorice tea helps me, or the capsules. Getting out to see grand vistas or other things I appreciate. I love to sit at a harbor and listen to the clicking of sailboat masts. Or to stand at the edge of the trees and look at the land opening up.
Flowers. The coming of spring. I take the time to walk through garden shops and flower stores.
Getting involved in a hobby. I feel best while I'm busy with something that interests me.
Depression is a brain chemical imbalance. Logically diet should be a major player. Try eating only from the outside perimeter of your grocery store, fresh veggies and meats. Nothing in boxes or cans.
There are contributing illnesses. Celiac disease can really screw with a persons nutrition. They say 25 million people suffer from it and don't know it. Simple test. Try staying away from wheat and other grains with gluten for a few weeks. Try to notice any changes.
These things above have helped me to stay level. But depression doesn't go away. We can stabilize it. It doesn't get fixed unless you can isolate the cause.
I'd never suggest prescription treatments. They are completely trial and error, no absolutes. The errors can really screw someone up.
Flowers. The coming of spring. I take the time to walk through garden shops and flower stores.
Getting involved in a hobby. I feel best while I'm busy with something that interests me.
Depression is a brain chemical imbalance. Logically diet should be a major player. Try eating only from the outside perimeter of your grocery store, fresh veggies and meats. Nothing in boxes or cans.
There are contributing illnesses. Celiac disease can really screw with a persons nutrition. They say 25 million people suffer from it and don't know it. Simple test. Try staying away from wheat and other grains with gluten for a few weeks. Try to notice any changes.
These things above have helped me to stay level. But depression doesn't go away. We can stabilize it. It doesn't get fixed unless you can isolate the cause.
I'd never suggest prescription treatments. They are completely trial and error, no absolutes. The errors can really screw someone up.
Last edited:
JJW
Well-known member
I hope it is of some use. People are wonderful things when we work properly. Depression is a relationship killer. Best of luck.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
They actually have a test you can get now that will show what meds may work best for you. My son actually just got one.
But that is still a last ditch effort, in my opinion. Honestly, there's not much you can do other than be there for her because if she doesn't want to do the work, she won't not be depressed.
Find out what she really wants to do. Try to find out why she is depressed (ie if something happened or it's just one of those things that comes out of the blue).
But yes, try to get her engaged in a new activity or something she enjoys. Does she likes animals? Maybe you can talk her into helping you volunteer at a local animal shelter. Things like that.
But that is still a last ditch effort, in my opinion. Honestly, there's not much you can do other than be there for her because if she doesn't want to do the work, she won't not be depressed.
Find out what she really wants to do. Try to find out why she is depressed (ie if something happened or it's just one of those things that comes out of the blue).
But yes, try to get her engaged in a new activity or something she enjoys. Does she likes animals? Maybe you can talk her into helping you volunteer at a local animal shelter. Things like that.
Rivermaze, I can relate just a bit with your dismay as I've watched my own sister's 20 years of severe depression degenerate into dementia. She's tried every medical treatment possible but wouldn't consider taking any advice or help from me or making any lifestyle changes that might have gotten to the root of the problem. I think we all see people struggle in life, some with huge challenges. But why do certain people overcome their issues while others don't? It doesn't seem to be the degree of life's difficulties since there''s abundant movies, books, and videos of people overcoming major adversities. There seems to be an underlying self identity or character trait that allows some to succeed while others fail. To that point, I see a difference between managing or treating depression versus resolving or preventing it. As a Christian, I tend to favor the latter as a desirable goal.
The good news is that you have a better chance of helping or influencing your partner than I have with my sister, assuming you're physically together on a daily or frequent basis. What to do then? Well, I won't discount the suggestions that others have made here, but they all require the other person to take action and do things, which doesn't work if the other person is unmotivated to do so. Sure, a depressed person will feel better for awhile if you get them out of the house for some fun or nature, but that won't solve the underlying problem. Disinterest in life will continue until something more important, a deficiency of some sort, is addressed.
I understand that some forms of depression are caused by chemical imbalances in the body that can be helped with modern medicine and/or diet. I assume though that your partner has gone through this assessment and not found this to be the resolvable problem.
I understand that some forms of depression are caused by being trapped in a terrible, negative environment. This was the case for my sister, but she was unwilling to leave or change that environment, so no cure was possible. I assume your partner is not in such a situation or you would have mentioned it.
That leaves the tough cases of depression concerning the mind and soul. I think these matters are determined by our sense of identity, self worth, and purpose in life. To these points, a true Christian has a solid foundation to live by. Knowing and loving God as we were created to do gives one a strong sense of value, purpose, peace, and joy in life. In short, when God's Spirit fills our mind and soul, there's no room for depression.
So how could you help your partner change their mind and soul? I'd suggest leading by example. Dedicate more time and attention to knowing and loving the Lord each day, and your passion, peace, and joy will grow and become apparent to others around you. Let your life show something that your partner wants. Such influence can cause real life changing effects.
The good news is that you have a better chance of helping or influencing your partner than I have with my sister, assuming you're physically together on a daily or frequent basis. What to do then? Well, I won't discount the suggestions that others have made here, but they all require the other person to take action and do things, which doesn't work if the other person is unmotivated to do so. Sure, a depressed person will feel better for awhile if you get them out of the house for some fun or nature, but that won't solve the underlying problem. Disinterest in life will continue until something more important, a deficiency of some sort, is addressed.
I understand that some forms of depression are caused by chemical imbalances in the body that can be helped with modern medicine and/or diet. I assume though that your partner has gone through this assessment and not found this to be the resolvable problem.
I understand that some forms of depression are caused by being trapped in a terrible, negative environment. This was the case for my sister, but she was unwilling to leave or change that environment, so no cure was possible. I assume your partner is not in such a situation or you would have mentioned it.
That leaves the tough cases of depression concerning the mind and soul. I think these matters are determined by our sense of identity, self worth, and purpose in life. To these points, a true Christian has a solid foundation to live by. Knowing and loving God as we were created to do gives one a strong sense of value, purpose, peace, and joy in life. In short, when God's Spirit fills our mind and soul, there's no room for depression.
So how could you help your partner change their mind and soul? I'd suggest leading by example. Dedicate more time and attention to knowing and loving the Lord each day, and your passion, peace, and joy will grow and become apparent to others around you. Let your life show something that your partner wants. Such influence can cause real life changing effects.
Get her on this site. Have her read and experience the threads. Soon she'll see that she's really not that bad off compared to the rest of us. Soon she'll be smiling. 
Similar threads
Latest posts
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?- Latest: TheRealCallie
-