I am incredibly frustrated and want to meet someone normal.

[Brodie]

Hello everyone. I haven't posted anything in these forums in years. I am actually shocked my account still exists to be honest!

I am incredibly frustrated by life lately. I am incredibly lonely.

I am a 36 year old male. I'm 6'2". I'm in decent shape. I have been losing a lot of weight lately with life style changes. I've lost 30 pounds in 2 months. I have a wonderful job. I make $115,000 a year and I have my own apartment.

I have good habits. I keep my apartment very tidy. I'm not very materialistic, so I don't have much clutter and I keep things very neat and I max out my 401k every year. I am going to retire in my late 50's.

I live in the south east, in Georgia. I am an atheist, and a socialist / liberal. I find myself rather intelligent and good looking. I am funny, or at least my friends and family think I am.

However, dating sucks. I broke up with my fiancé in 2021, and it has been rough out there. I feel like all of the women I meet are unreasonable, shallow, and impatient. I come from a very down to earth, laid back family. I also have very sensible ideals about things and I am very reasonable person. As long as people don't lie, and have valid reasons for things, I don't get very upset at things.

I have narcolepsy and it severely impacts my life, though. I feel like NO ONE has any empathy anymore, and this sense of "my feelings are valid" is being taken WAY TOO FAR in society nowadays.

I recently went on a date that left me feeling incredibly frustrated. I finally met someone who was funny and articulate and very smart. She was liberal and an atheist. We went on a few dates and had a wonderful time. I work rotating shifts at my job and it leaves me INCREDIBLY exhausted. I was sleep deprived all week between work and hanging out with her.

I explained to her that I have narcolepsy. I was very clear about it. She laughed it off, but I warned her that it wasn't a joke.

I got off night shift this morning, and we talked before she went to work. She told me she was going to try to leave work early, and would text me. I was preparing to go to bed and offered to set an alarm for 2 PM. She specifically told me NOT to set an alarm, and to get my beauty rest because she had an "adventure" planned for us later in the evening. I was excited. So I went to bed.

Well, I went did some laundry and went to bed at 10:30. Next thing I know, I'm waking up at 9:30 PM!!! I slept for 11 hours STRAIGHT. Without waking up ONE TIME. Not even to pee! I had like 30 unread texts from her! She was very upset and accused me of not caring constantly, told me I was not validating her feelings, that she couldn't do this and that I wasn't loyal or committed and that I didn't value the day with her.

I tried explaining a million times that I have narcolepsy and that I didn't expect to sleep for 11 hours! But no matter what I said, she called me an excuse maker, that I had a date with her and that I should have done SOMETHING to wake up, that if it mattered to me I would have done SOMETHING about it.

This is what frustrates me. I just want to meet someone who understands that **** happens in life!!! That if you oversleep, it's OKAY. It doesn't mean you are a liar! It doesn't mean you DON'T CARE. I even told her that I sleep through my alarms CONSTANTLY. But it all fell on deaf ears, and she blocked me. This feels SO unfair. I am an incredibly caring, committed, loyal person, and I got treated like I was a piece of **** that was lying. I was looking forward to this weekend SO MUCH, and I'm just as pissed at my disability as she is.

Why does everyone do this? My dad was abusive growing up and constantly told me that there is "no such things as accidents". This is a fallacy and a ******** mentality. The secret of life is that there is very little we can actually control, and if you think you can prevent ALL bad things from happening, you ARE DELUSIONAL!!! **** HAPPENS IN LIFE.

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry! I'm just sick of being punished for something I literally have NO CONTROL OVER.

 

[okidoke]

Next date explain this last situation so they understand the seriousness. Don’t give up. She wasn’t right for you.

 

[Brodie]

That's if there is another date. =/ It's so hard to meet people in your 30's. It really sucks, man. No one has any social skills anymore. Everyone is so entitled to their "feelings". YES. I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOUR FEELINGS EXIST. But feelings don't mean that it's the REALITY of the situation, and it doesn't give a person the right to just treat you however they see fit! I'm so sick of being accused of not caring.

 

[okidoke]

That's if there is another date. =/ It's so hard to meet people in your 30's. It really sucks, man. No one has any social skills anymore. Everyone is so entitled to their "feelings". YES. I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOUR FEELINGS EXIST. But feelings don't mean that it's the REALITY of the situation, and it doesn't give a person the right to just treat you however they see fit! I'm so sick of being accused of not caring.

I don’t disagree, but there are many many more women to filter through. Never say an age either. There are people saying the same thing at 50, 60, etc. Times are different but there are people out there who will meet our wants.

 

[Brodie]

I don’t disagree, but there are many many more women to filter through. Never say an age either. There are people saying the same thing at 50, 60, etc. Times are different but there are people out there who will meet our wants.

Well thank you for taking the time to respond and the pep talk. I'll keep trying.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Oh no, I relate so closely to this as I gained a slight stutter after being attacked. I have a slight swelling on the brain that needs an operation. So many men I really liked would make constant jokes about me having brain damage. People think having a disability means you dont deserve love.

I have been annoyed with my ex for needing the bathroom when I timed him perfectly with a surprise meal (totally unreasonable lol) but being unreasonable happens from time to time, I wont lie. However I think its more about the save than the fall, if she backed down and said she overreacted I would say give her a second chance, but she didn't.

This can be a power play, making a man say sorry when he simply wasnt in the wrong is a game many toxic women play. I chat about it alot. Theres something empowering about it, takes maturity to start seeking validation from your relationship instead of little mind games.

 

[Brodie]

Oh no, I relate so closely to this as I gained a slight stutter after being attacked. I have a slight swelling on the brain that needs an operation. So many men I really liked would make constant jokes about me having brain damage. People think having a disability means you dont deserve love.

I have been annoyed with my ex for needing the bathroom when I timed him perfectly with a surprise meal (totally unreasonable lol) but being unreasonable happens from time to time, I wont lie. However I think its more about the save than the fall, if she backed down and said she overreacted I would say give her a second chance, but she didn't.

This can be a power play, making a man say sorry when he simply wasnt in the wrong is a game many toxic women play. I chat about it alot. Theres something empowering about it, takes maturity to start seeking validation from your relationship instead of little mind games.

Thank you for the insightful reply. I have thought about everything you've said before and I agree very much. I'm very reasonable in that I would have totally given her a second chance. But she just escalated it so quickly. It was a little unfair and nutso.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Sounds like you were better off sleeping. Though, I can only go off what you are saying.

I find most everyone in the states, these days, to be pretty nuts, in one way or another. Trump, Boris, Bolsonaro, Duterte, Putin, Xi Xinping; it really is a world wide phenomena. The left has their brand of crazy, the right has theirs. And even outside of politics, people are quite reactionary, emotionally off-balance, illogical (more so than the run of the mill illogical), or worse...

I include myself somewhere in all of that, too, unfortunately. Though the recognition leaves a lot to be answered. It's quite queer.

---
I guess the upside is, she was really disappointed she didn't get to see you (really wanted to see you).
---
Anywho, welcome to the forum.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Just goes to show you that looks and height and money aren't everything. It doesn't solve all your dating woes. Sure, you can get *** whenever you want, but some of us want more than that.
Sorry, went off on a mini tangent there. Anyway, if it happened several times and you missed several dates, I could understand her tantrum, but this was the first time, correct? There's no reason for that reaction. As much as she wants to accuse you of making excuses, it sounds like it's her with the excuses.
IF she gets back to you and apologizes in a day or two, I would probably give her another chance, on the condition that she FULLY understands your condition and what it means and that she will NOT get all pissy if you happen to oversleep again.

Other than that, yeah, it's hard to find decent people out there who aren't playing games or just looking for *** or whatever. Don't get too discouraged and keep trying. You'll find someone.

 

[user 190701]

Hello everyone. I haven't posted anything in these forums in years. I am actually shocked my account still exists to be honest!

I am incredibly frustrated by life lately. I am incredibly lonely.

I am a 36 year old male. I'm 6'2". I'm in decent shape. I have been losing a lot of weight lately with life style changes. I've lost 30 pounds in 2 months. I have a wonderful job. I make $115,000 a year and I have my own apartment.

I have good habits. I keep my apartment very tidy. I'm not very materialistic, so I don't have much clutter and I keep things very neat and I max out my 401k every year. I am going to retire in my late 50's.

I live in the south east, in Georgia. I am an atheist, and a socialist / liberal. I find myself rather intelligent and good looking. I am funny, or at least my friends and family think I am.

However, dating sucks. I broke up with my fiancé in 2021, and it has been rough out there. I feel like all of the women I meet are unreasonable, shallow, and impatient. I come from a very down to earth, laid back family. I also have very sensible ideals about things and I am very reasonable person. As long as people don't lie, and have valid reasons for things, I don't get very upset at things.

I have narcolepsy and it severely impacts my life, though. I feel like NO ONE has any empathy anymore, and this sense of "my feelings are valid" is being taken WAY TOO FAR in society nowadays.

I recently went on a date that left me feeling incredibly frustrated. I finally met someone who was funny and articulate and very smart. She was liberal and an atheist. We went on a few dates and had a wonderful time. I work rotating shifts at my job and it leaves me INCREDIBLY exhausted. I was sleep deprived all week between work and hanging out with her.

I explained to her that I have narcolepsy. I was very clear about it. She laughed it off, but I warned her that it wasn't a joke.

I got off night shift this morning, and we talked before she went to work. She told me she was going to try to leave work early, and would text me. I was preparing to go to bed and offered to set an alarm for 2 PM. She specifically told me NOT to set an alarm, and to get my beauty rest because she had an "adventure" planned for us later in the evening. I was excited. So I went to bed.

Well, I went did some laundry and went to bed at 10:30. Next thing I know, I'm waking up at 9:30 PM!!! I slept for 11 hours STRAIGHT. Without waking up ONE TIME. Not even to pee! I had like 30 unread texts from her! She was very upset and accused me of not caring constantly, told me I was not validating her feelings, that she couldn't do this and that I wasn't loyal or committed and that I didn't value the day with her.

I tried explaining a million times that I have narcolepsy and that I didn't expect to sleep for 11 hours! But no matter what I said, she called me an excuse maker, that I had a date with her and that I should have done SOMETHING to wake up, that if it mattered to me I would have done SOMETHING about it.

This is what frustrates me. I just want to meet someone who understands that honeysuckle happens in life!!! That if you oversleep, it's OKAY. It doesn't mean you are a liar! It doesn't mean you DON'T CARE. I even told her that I sleep through my alarms CONSTANTLY. But it all fell on deaf ears, and she blocked me. This feels SO unfair. I am an incredibly caring, committed, loyal person, and I got treated like I was a piece of honeysuckle that was lying. I was looking forward to this weekend SO MUCH, and I'm just as pissed at my disability as she is.

Why does everyone do this? My dad was abusive growing up and constantly told me that there is "no such things as accidents". This is a fallacy and a ******** mentality. The secret of life is that there is very little we can actually control, and if you think you can prevent ALL bad things from happening, you ARE DELUSIONAL!!! honeysuckle HAPPENS IN LIFE.

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry! I'm just sick of being punished for something I literally have NO CONTROL OVER.

Hi - we live in the same state! I don't have any good advice, but it sounds like sleeping saved you the trouble of continuing to date someone who is not worthy of your time. If she's that awful early on, it's best you learn early on. I can't stand people like this either. I grew up with a father who always had to blame anything that happened on someone, be it me, himself, my mom, or some other poor soul. I'd definitely stand your ground with your health next time. Anyway, you're so close to Augusta - is there a big dating scene there?

 

[Brodie]

Hi there! The dating scene in this area sucks, like everywhere else. You live in the Augusta area? I live in Evans.

 

[user 139760]

 

[michael2]

Sounds like the typical modern dating experience

People have too many options, it creates the unrealistically high expectations and lack of patience

If this was on reddit there would be alot of white knights telling you how women don't owe you anything and your the bad guy here

 

[user 190701]

Hi there! The dating scene in this area sucks, like everywhere else. You live in the Augusta area? I live in Evans.

No, I'm closer to Atlanta, but I go through there a lot to got to SC. And I get it! It took me leaving the country to find someone I really liked, but, as I said in my intro, I just found out he has a girlfriend now, so I'm not sure if that's ever going to go anywhere.

 

[sub5male]

Sounds like the typical modern dating experience

People have too many options, it creates the unrealistically high expectations and lack of patience

If this was on reddit there would be alot of white knights telling you how women don't owe you anything and your the bad guy here

Exactly, and this from his account of himself Brodie is still young and is more attractive than an average man yet is still struggling mightly so what does that say about the chances for those of us men who are older and far less attractive than average?

 

[WanderingInTheWoods]

The dating scene is very hard these days, but don't give up hope. I know it may seem frustrating and at times yes, it can be frustrating. Eventually, you'll find someone who is patient enough to understand your circumstances and be compassionate when it comes to things. You'll find someone.

 

[Murakami_1]

I read through the thread and it sounds rough, I really wish you the best. Sometimes you just need to find the road again and you'll be set

 

[user 164061]

A lot of what you said has happened to me in the past as well, but it's only when a woman has liked me and I've liked them (we never made it into a relationship). It's very, very hard to find people anymore with an ounce of empathy because the new mentality is "me!! me!! me!!" and if you eff up one time you are gone. In my opinion i don't think she was "the one" if she's going crazy over the fact you can't help having an illness and it's labelled as an excuse for some bizarre reason. I've got anxiety/depression (mainly depression) and i am not medicated for it, but sometimes i'll have an epic slump and i just don't want to talk with anyone due to feeling super bad. In the past I've had people i have been interested in calling that an excuse and i am just being rude. If only we could swap heads for a day, they'd be eating a bullet if they endured what i have to endure. Probably got more chance of winning the lottery than finding someone with a caring/pure heart who understands how you feel it seems.