I don't like people caring for me, why?

[Ghostwriter]

I don't know. I feel a combination of guilt, anger, embarrassment and I always get set off when people start caring for me. It's a wonder my (few) friends even want to talk to me. I know I wouldn't. Am I just anti-social?

I just hate when I get cared for, and I don't even know why. I feel like I'd rather become a bum on the streets rather then receiving help. ****.

 

[SophiaGrace]

it could make you feel vulnerable.

 

[Millarca]

I might have a theory. It's something I've thought about for a while.

I have been suicidal, in thought and in action, often. And when I think about the people who care, how my suicide would cause them to feel, I feel a bit of resentment. I sometimes feel that their love keeps me bound to life. I can't "free myself" from it because I know what it would do to them if I did. I couldn't bear to cause them that kind of pain, thus their love for me and mine for them, keeps me alive and suffering.

I've felt terrible guilt for feeling that way. And, luckily, it happens less often.

I could be totally off, but I know it's something I've already tried to reconcile myself.

I'm sorry you feel this way ever.

 

[Lostman]

I sometimes feel this way too. I don't know for sure why, and your reasons may be different than mine. For me, I'm so used to feeling down, sometimes I wonder if some part if me wants to feel that way.I feel that no one I confide in could understand me or may judge me (as has happened before) so I push people away, without meaning or wanting to.

---

I'm sorry you feel this way too. Sometimes when someone reaches out to you, just remember, they want to help.

 

[potato]

Quite the mind-****, isn't it?

When being loved or cared for feels foreign and alien. Yet, when it stumbles into your life... You nit-pick reasons to push something beautiful away. You convince yourself, even, that it will go away eventually or that you are undeserving. It's cowardly, really. Not to mention reckless to those that give a damn. Though, sad when being made to feel invisible and worthless becomes your comfort-zone.

Not impossible to fight through it. Have to want it badly enough. It's too easy to curl up with what is comfortable. But so exhausting to continually fight against what you've become familiar with.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I don't know. I feel a combination of guilt, anger, embarrassment and I always get set off when people start caring for me. It's a wonder my (few) friends even want to talk to me. I know I wouldn't. Am I just anti-social?

I just hate when I get cared for, and I don't even know why. I feel like I'd rather become a bum on the streets rather then receiving help. ****.

Sounds like a mix of pride and low self-esteem.

That might sound weird, but if you think that you're not worth being cared for by others deep down, it can trigger exactly this sort of negative reaction when people try to help you.

I don't like people being charitable or generous towards me, in large part because I don't ever feel like I deserve it. It's a tough habit to break.

 

[JasonM]

I don't know. I feel a combination of guilt, anger, embarrassment and I always get set off when people start caring for me.

Do you perhaps feel like you are undeserving of this affection?

 

[Tiina63]

If you are not used to some caring about you, it can seem overwhelming.
Also, there is the fear that the person might suddenly stop caring and go away, leaving you feeling even worse, becuase you long for care so much and have opened yourself to it and now you feel abandonned.
Someone once said I am a nice person and I felt awkward and unsure how to cope with it. If he had said I am worhtless and no good, it would have hurt, but it would have felt familiar.