I don't think I am mentally strong enough to keep going

[Waffle]

I agree with what some of posters suggested about reading five stages of grief. As someone who just recently lost a special someone I was amazed with how it feels like heartbreak when someone breaks up with you so logically it should help.
Distraction is a good strategy, are you passionate about something else in your life? Work or a hobby?
Those are things you should focus on whenever you feel any kind of negative emotions surfacing, push them to the side and focus on things that you enjoy (though I am very much aware when in heartbreak nothing is truly enjoyable anymore..).

 

[Peaches]

Hi Mike, what you write is very sad, sorry this happened to you
Actually I understand why in this phase you might be a bit obsessed about what happened, especially because she didn't provide any real explanation.
She can have done that for many reasons, cold feet, not being able to say no, but I agree with what Rdor writes below, that is a particularly cold and strange behavior.

Does she have commitment issues? you can find a description in this book http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Scared-Shes-Understanding-Relationships/dp/1567313701, I think there are free pdfs online somewhere so you don't need to buy it

good luck!

Agree with Revengineer, because it's very cold and strange behaviour. To the point where, Mike your (former) Fiancee sounds like she might suffering with some psychological problems, possibly related to the issues you mention, or even a diagnosable mental illness; it's hard to imagine how a normal person could treat someone they were engaged to this way. Was she ever seriously depressed while you were together?

What anyone would expect in this situation is for them to give you an honest explanation for calling it off, in person. That is what she owes you, one human being to another. I wouldn't confront her or anything like that, be satisfied at the very least that you are in the 'right' here with how you're feeling.

 

[Mike510]

Now that I look back at a few emails I had sent her I think it was my fault she did what she did .

This is the last thing I heard from her

I read your other email. Like I said before I'm busy and stressed out from work and I don't want to put up with this. I feel bad about it, but I do think we should end this relationship, at least for the time being. I do love you and care about you. I don't want to hurt you at all. It hurts me and scares me when you say stuff like you'd do something to yourself if you didn't have me. There's no reason that you should think like that. I don't want you to assume that I don't care about you or have you assume that I never loved you, because that's all false. It's hurting me pretty badly right now because I don't want to hurt you like this. If something were to ever happen to you, especially because of me, I could never live with myself. I definitely love and care about you Mikey.

 

[ardour]

Mike, personal message intended for your eyes, maybe you shouldn't make a habit of posting them word for word on a forum.

You threatened to hurt yourself, did you ever do anything like that, say anything to that effect while you were still seeing each other? If so that would be a reason for her pulling back.

I would still ask for a reason for the break up as she should be willing give you that if she cared, it’s common decency really. There’s nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, even if that comes across as a ‘guilt trip’. You have a right to expect more, I would think.
(from someone who has absolutely *no* relationship experience, so others might have a better perspective...)

 

[Mike510]

Mike, personal message intended for your eyes, maybe you shouldn't make a habit of posting them word for word on a forum.

You threatened to hurt yourself, did you ever do anything like that, say anything to that effect while you were still seeing each other? If so that would be a reason for her pulling back.

I would still ask for a reason for the break up as she should be willing give you that if she cared, it’s common decency really. There’s nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, even if that comes across as a ‘guilt trip’. You have a right to expect more, I would think.
(from someone who has absolutely *no* relationship experience, so others might have a better perspective...)

It was warranted given the situation I believe.

Well the message before I did because she told me she thought we needed to break up and I didn't know how to cope with that. I guess I really screwed up.

I have tried to many times but I haven't gotten anything in over a month now. I know but she meant so much to me, we had planned out are lives what we wanted to do, where we would like to move and then it just ends. I was ready to commit my life to being with her now what do I have nothing.

 

[Jerasmussen]

Mike, personal message intended for your eyes, maybe you shouldn't make a habit of posting them word for word on a forum.

You threatened to hurt yourself, did you ever do anything like that, say anything to that effect while you were still seeing each other? If so that would be a reason for her pulling back.

I would still ask for a reason for the break up as she should be willing give you that if she cared, it’s common decency really. There’s nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, even if that comes across as a ‘guilt trip’. You have a right to expect more, I would think.
(from someone who has absolutely *no* relationship experience, so others might have a better perspective...)

It was warranted given the situation I believe.

Well the message before I did because she told me she thought we needed to break up and I didn't know how to cope with that. I guess I really screwed up.

I have tried to many times but I haven't gotten anything in over a month now. I know but she meant so much to me, we had planned out are lives what we wanted to do, where we would like to move and then it just ends. I was ready to commit my life to being with her now what do I have nothing.

Hi Mike:

My wife just walked out of my life, taking our two daughter ages 6 and 2 with her. In my case, the memories are of what we did do and where we did live for seven years, then --SNAP-- she says she's leaving and it's over.

I know it hurts, believe me, but you have to go on. Don't think about it like forever and ever, my life is over, I screwed up, blah, blah, blah. When I start feeling that way I concentrate on the next hour. Forget the past, it's past; forget going on with the rest of your life, the future hasn't happened yet; just make it through the next 60 minutes, then another 60 ... Great thing about grief is that it's a process, meaning at some point it resolves.

 

[disintigration]

im sorry guys

 

[ladyforsaken]

im sorry guys

What are you sorry for?

 

[disintigration]

im sorry guys

What are you sorry for?

The pain they're going through?

 

[ladyforsaken]

im sorry guys

What are you sorry for?

The pain they're going through?

Oh... yeah :\