I dunno what is wrong with me

[wja7]

Hello i am a 20 year old about to hit 21 soon i have had a few problems in the past due to a relationship ending but i have picked myself up and carried on and now what i have found is people shun me i mean i make all efforts to talk to new people and make new friends but to no avail same thing over and over in some cases the person just walks away mid conversation then again my mate tried social sites same again so and so read your message and blatantly ignored you and its not just 1 or 2 people it seems to be mostly everyone i talk to i was told by someone its because i am not that attractive compared to others that cant be right can it ? i mean i know i am not amazing but society can be so shallow that how you look defies your entire being and all these rejections has made me believe that there is something wrong with me or i am doing something wrong opinions please ??

 

[murmi97]

That happens to me too a lot. I prefer to think it isn't intentional. That they just happened to put their energy somewhere else and don't have any left for me right now. I mean unless they do reply to you and tell you you're not good enough to reply to, you never really know if they actually think you aren't good enough. Oh wait, you probably don't mean just online. But yeah I'm pretty sure, for the times it happens on the internet(facebook and forums - I don't online-date), that's the story.

 

[Garbageman]

Wja7, I don't know you at all to know what if anything may be wrong with you, depending on how you look at it everyone has stuff wrong with them. There is no point in worrying about anyone who rejects you based solely on appearance, that is their potential loss not yours. I try to look at it that when no one seems to want to be around me, or associate with me, then it is time for me to take a time out and focus on myself, really give myself and my life an honest assessment, and then seek others input to see how it compares to my own and then look to see what if anything I need or want to work on or change.

I would not stress about it, you are at an age where many people tend to be all over the place with their opinions and how they feel about others. What matters is how you feel about yourself, and if you are willing to work on changing anything you don't like or changing how you feel about it.

 

[Tiina63]

Maybe you are trying too hard and coming across as desperate or as very needy for contact? It sounds as if you are having to do all the work with people and noone is reciprocating. Please don't take this as criticism because I have the same problem as well in certain situations (ie dating.) Maybe for now you could try going out to new places and to take up activities you think you might enjoy and not think too much about whether you will make new friends at any of these places. Putting pressure on yourself to make friends will only make you feel even worse. Practise just mixing with others and developping your social skills.