I feel like a lepper.

[Alonewith2cats]

Everyone faces rejection in life, even the pretty people.

I've had sort of a bus buddy for a while, been talking to him regularly, started liking him more, the more I talked to him. I asked if I could send him a friend request. I sent him a friend request. Lately he has been avoiding me. Note, I did not ask him for coffee, I did not ask for his number, I did not ask him out. All I did was ask him if he took a vacation after I haven't seen him on the bus for a week, listen to him talk about his weekend trip and then send him a face book friend request. Oh my gosh, the nerve of me to even only slightly suggest a friendship outside of the bus. I must totally creep him out.

Sorry for sounding like a loser. Just wanted to vent. Thanks.

 

[ardour]

Had a similar experience with someone I met at a wedding. We spoke for an hour on the way home and got along pretty well. She seemed really happy to talk. I saw her again at the station a couple of times on my way to work, by then I had sent a friend request (we have mutual friends.)...which was left pending. She was very awkward. One day she saw me, smiled and waved, then went and sat at the opposite end of the train. Weird. I deleted the request.

It's odd how people are willing to talk to you in one situation when they aren't willing to know you more generally. If he really didn't appreciate your company why was he willing to talk at all?

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I think I have the answer. It sucks but it happens. I gave off a vibe and he senses it. He knows I'm beginning to like him more and as more than just an acquaintance on the bus I sometimes talk to. He senses I'm becoming more attracted to him and it's awkward for him so his way of dealing with it is to avoid me. Even though I haven't hit on him or done anything like that I must have acted differently so.....I mean I did slip a little and miss the button you press to activate the traffic signal before crossing the street and he said "careful."

I think I'll just give up on men for a while.

 

[Mike510]

you shouldn't have to give up. Some people are just like that. I don't understand it but then again I have had people I thought were my friends act like they didn't even know I was. Some people I guess just going to be like that I guess.

 

[Legato]

You shouldn't just give up on men because some guy is being awkward with you.

It could be nothing all together. He could have something going on in his life to distract him from things. It's hard for you to know this, due to not knowing him that well. If you really like him, i'd just tell them. Worst that can happen is he doesn't feel the same, and you move on.

For every guy that rejects you, there's double the amount out there that would love to get to know you.

Keep at it

 

[ladyforsaken]

You shouldn't just give up on men because some guy is being awkward with you.

This is true. But I can also see where the OP is coming from.. she may not just be tired of men per se, but just the idea of pursuing something with a guy.

I know that's something that hits close to home for me.

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

sometimes when we finaly give up searching for something we tend to stumble across it

 

[Alonewith2cats]

You shouldn't just give up on men because some guy is being awkward with you.

This is true. But I can also see where the OP is coming from.. she may not just be tired of men per se, but just the idea of pursuing something with a guy.

I know that's something that hits close to home for me.

That's right. Some people might think it's lame that I sent him a face book friend request instead of asking for his number or asking him out. I think I did the right thing. You have to test the waters before taking the plunge. I'd rather have my face book friend request rejected than be rejected for a date. But the whole avoidance thing on the bus and between bus stops now when before we used to talk as acquaintances is really weird. And since we both take the same buses and he kind of lives in my neighborhood I see him about 3-4 times a week. This could go on the rest of the year and I have to challenge myself to play it cool, act like he is just another stranger on the bus. Ok, he's polite enough to give me a smile when we see each other but he'll avoid me otherwise. Strange, before we started talking I didn't really notice him much at all. And now he has become so attractive to me. Why? I didn't ask for another bus crush. This is the second one I've had in my life. I don't need this! My friends tell me I'm pretty. Well pretty has no power because when it comes to the guys I'm most attracted to, I still can't get those. I think it takes just the right mental connection with the other person, the brain waves and chemicals have to be interacting just right and if it isn't there it won't happen no matter what.

 

[ardour]

Have you deleted the request? Don't let it stay there pending.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Have you deleted the request? Don't let it stay there pending.

No, I'm not embarrassed to leave it pending just in case he does accept my friend request. He told me he doesn't log on to face book all the time so he may not have gotten it yet.

Besides from my point of view there is no shame in reaching out to another human being and offering friendship. If that friendship offer gets rejected we just have to accept that and move on. That doesn't mean I have to shut the door.

 

[perfanoff]

People with skin conditions are totally creepy. Gotcha.

Aren't ya one pretty pumpkin?

 

[ladyforsaken]

People with skin conditions are totally creepy. Gotcha.

Aren't ya one pretty pumpkin?

perfanoff.............. you're hilarious.

 

[duff]

some people are polite and they will talk to somebody, even for a long time.
The next day they realize they don't want that person as a friend and do everything they can to avoid that person.
It's horrible but it happens.

 

[ardour]

some people are polite and they will talk to somebody, even for a long time.
The next day they realize they don't want that person as a friend and do everything they can to avoid that person.
It's horrible but it happens.

I don't think her friend request was inappropriate though. If you've had a good few conversations with someone and seem to get along well it would be normal enough. Some people send one after just meeting someone.
It's him who has the problem.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I'm a bit of a masochist too. It would be easy to deal with if I never had to see him again. But each day I get on the bus home from work hoping that this avoidance thing will pass and he'll eventually talk to me again like he used to while I'm doing my best to be cool and act like I don't care if he talks to me or not because I shouldn't care at all, sit far away from him, talk to someone else on the bus instead like my friend from work who would never treat me like this. And then I get teary eyed when I get home Stupid, I know.

Ok, It's true, I don't need this person in my life (why can't I kick him out of it??? He's on that damn bus). There are 7 billion people on the planet and who knows what the future holds. It's just that I spend so much time alone that when I do get to know and befriend and get to really like someone, especially a member of the opposite sex it just gets so exciting, because there aren't really that many people that I get attracted to like this, and it's only just begun, I wasn't aware of how much I was liking him until just recently, and then the huge bomb which is made up of disappointment and rejection drops and I can't win. And what I really want is to win. Oh well. Life goes on. Thanks for your replies. This too shall pass, hopefully not too slowly.

 

[cicerolion]

Everyone faces rejection in life, even the pretty people.

I've had sort of a bus buddy for a while, been talking to him regularly, started liking him more, the more I talked to him. I asked if I could send him a friend request. I sent him a friend request. Lately he has been avoiding me. Note, I did not ask him for coffee, I did not ask for his number, I did not ask him out. All I did was ask him if he took a vacation after I haven't seen him on the bus for a week, listen to him talk about his weekend trip and then send him a face book friend request. Oh my gosh, the nerve of me to even only slightly suggest a friendship outside of the bus. I must totally creep him out.

Sorry for sounding like a loser. Just wanted to vent. Thanks.

I would say that you never know. There could be a reason totally unrelated to you. Or, he could just be a defensive douche. I've had this happen to me all the time. I remember when I ran into a guy from one of my classes that I would usually talk to. It was at a guest lecture. I went to sit with him, and he asked me why I would do that. I guess, for this guy, its not easily understood why you would gravitate towards a casual acquaintance when you are looking for a place to sit. Best advice, just think "well, **** you", and try to forget about it. In my opinion, you did nothing wrong.

 

[LoneKiller]

You are far from being a loser. Some guys are just feel very awkward when a lady takes an interest. Sometimes when I speak with a woman, I'm usually a little more nervous for some reason.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Well, here is the good news. We're talking again. I really like him but I think I'll play it safe and just be a little bus friend. I don't want to ruin that by confessing attraction. After all we've been taking the same buses for years and this can continue for who knows how long?

Can someone call in a witch doctor for me and cure me of this evil curse? This is the second time I've crushed on someone on the bus.

 

[ardour]

I would say that you never know. There could be a reason totally unrelated to you. Or, he could just be a defensive douche. I've had this happen to me all the time. I remember when I ran into a guy from one of my classes that I would usually talk to. It was at a guest lecture. I went to sit with him, and he asked me why I would do that. I guess, for this guy, its not easily understood why you would gravitate towards a casual acquaintance when you are looking for a place to sit. Best advice, just think "well, **** you", and try to forget about it. In my opinion, you did nothing wrong.

he sounds like an arsehole

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I would say that you never know. There could be a reason totally unrelated to you. Or, he could just be a defensive douche. I've had this happen to me all the time. I remember when I ran into a guy from one of my classes that I would usually talk to. It was at a guest lecture. I went to sit with him, and he asked me why I would do that. I guess, for this guy, its not easily understood why you would gravitate towards a casual acquaintance when you are looking for a place to sit. Best advice, just think "well, **** you", and try to forget about it. In my opinion, you did nothing wrong.

he sounds like an arsehole

No, I don't think so. Well cicerolion's story may describe an arsehole but in my case actions can sometimes be misinterpreted. Some people may not want to talk to acquaintances on the bus every day or may be in their own worlds sometimes. I'm just glad things aren't so weird or awkward for me anymore.