eviloreo said:
whats what im trying to say which your not understanding ~.~ yes it seems like it doesnt take much to say "oh yes it'd be great if you came over here" but its not taking it "cool" : /
Its like if i was to ask you out to go see...... quarantine today, on a saturday and lets say i asked if you wanted to go wedsday and you said yes. Saturday comes around and now your calling to see what time and which movie theater to go to, and who's driving or are we meeting there and you: "hey imma go check movie times" and im sitting here going, "eh....... after.... dinner? eh.... yee..... ahhh.... *grunt grunt*"
When i did have close friends it was like that and i genuinely wanted to go but didnt care much for when, or what movie time, or where, or even what movie. If it happens it happens was the mentality i had and those friends understood that. Now there were some friends who wanted detailed plans it seems and yea... didnt click well which helped lead me down the path i am today.
Now im not comparing getting together for a movie to a planned trip to england, that would be unfair, but im just saying i think thats the mentality he has atm. If i was in his shoes, yes i probaby geneuinely want you to be there in england with me but if you want detailed plans or push me to do something which i really dont feel like atm then cancel if you want.
"Im going to play it cool and just chill and if it happens it happens but yes i want you there." I know i know it sounds werid but thats at least my train of thought on it if he and i are on the same brain waves
Ok I see what you're saying. However, I wasn't asking him for detailed plans or trying to press him for anything. He's been acting different lately and has seemed quite distant, and was mentioning today how he's waiting to get back home on break to rest up as he doesn't care enough now at uni to bother to try to fix his sleeping habits/problems. Because of this, I asked him if he still wanted me to go ahead and make plans, because I thought if he wants to take it easy, then maybe me going over there won't be such a great idea, as I'm going to want more than he might be able to give, which would be a wasted trip, but I didn't want to make assumptions either, so I asked.
We've been together 4+ years, and we generally know each other quite well. Well enough so I know when to give him the space he needs and well enough so he should know when he says things like he did earlier today, that that hurts me, and that while its not really a right or wrong statement, it is wrong when he knows me, and knows that I'll be upset by it. I'm a romantic person, and I can't help it if I like a little reassurance. I've done things and changed myself a little to compromise for him, like learning how to not be so jealous at times, proper amount of space to give him, not press certain issues too much, etc. It's not like I ask him to read my mind; I just about wear my heart on my sleeve and am open about how I feel and what I like. He's not stupid, and while I see what you're saying about "playing it cool", it's not that. After 4 years I'm not sure why he'd want to or have to do that. It's not like he has to impress me anymore.
I don't want you to think that I'm trying to argue or anything. I apologize if I come off as huffy or anything, and I understand you're just giving me your input in trying to help, and I am most grateful for that. I will never say never, and you could very well be right, it just doesn't really feel like that's the case for him, or the whole case anyway. In any event I want to thank you regardless for at least offering your point of view, as it is helpful and a different angle to look at.
