i feel like only bad things/bad people...

[Pheenix]

I don't believe life sucks.

I am a pretty unhappy person. If I thought I would forever stay in the mood I am in generally, I would kill myself.
But I don't think life sucks.

Humans are absolutely horrible... at appreciation. When you say "life sucks" try actually asking yourself what it is you want out of life and why. In my mind, life is so super special awesome that we fail at comprehending it. What we want is always adjusted relatively to be a little more than what we can get. But if we just asked ourselves "right, what can I demand out of life? What should theoretically be enough to make one happy?" we would find that it is way less than what we have already.

 

[headbanginghorseman]

maybe for you, pheenix :/ but i am still very mad at life for making one of the very basic necessities of human beings next to impossible for me [food and eating food].

---

and thank you, Ak5. it did help c:

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overall, i am feeling a bit better. i am just very upset by some of the things that are happening to me. why, of all people, can i not eat like a "normal" person? why must i always feel sick all the time? why do i have many bad things happening to me, at this time in my life? it seems very unfair. not to toot my own horn or anything, but i have always thought myself a good person, and prided myself on my moral values. why couldn't these accursed allergies plague someone who deserves them? why do the honest, good people always seem to get stepped on?

i worry, sometimes, that i am going to turn into one of those people who slack off, because they feel that life owes them something. i try to stay proactive, but sometimes, it's too difficult to stay in front of the onslaught. i feel like i am constantly facing down bad things and almost insurmountable problems. it's very exhausting.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You could try to see the silver lining in the stormclouds.

At least now you have to eat only fresh foods, which is in many ways, an extremely healthy diet. I know when both my car and my computer broke down, I was irritated at first by it - then I realized by forbidding me from playing video games, life was doing my a favor and I had to study. And I was learning a lesson not to buy cheap cars, and I, too, was grateful for that lesson.

Most of all, though, I was grateful to have savings

 

[headbanginghorseman]

hehehe i suppose you are right! however, i sure will miss sweets :s

 

[Pheenix]

Bah, life is better without sweets, trust me.

 

[IgnoredOne]

hehehe i suppose you are right! however, i sure will miss sweets :s

That is a large issue, actually. Are you absolutely certain you cannot have any sweets? Raw fruits? Do even candies have that mite?

 

[headbanginghorseman]

unfortunately, anything that is stored has mites. so yes, even candies? :s

and how can you say that, pheenix?! they're so delicious ;P

 

[IgnoredOne]

unfortunately, anything that is stored has mites. so yes, even candies? :s

and how can you say that, pheenix?! they're so delicious ;P

I suppose that you will have to balance your love of sweets with the consequences thereof. Could desensitization therapy help reduce your reaction to the allergy to more manageable levels?

 

[headbanginghorseman]

yes, but it will take quite a bit of time, and will most likely not yield the desired results. my doctor also suggested that i get allergy shots, and see if that helps any.

i have developed a grand plan for bringing cookies back in my life, however. i am going to start growing and milling my own wheat. for sugar, i can use molasses [they wash the cane, then boil it and put it directly into jars], or buy the raw cane myself. i can also order whole cocoa beans online, that i can wash and sanitize, then grind myself C: hooray for ingenuity! they say things always taste better when you make them yourself, anyway!

 

[IgnoredOne]

yes, but it will take quite a bit of time, and will most likely not yield the desired results. my doctor also suggested that i get allergy shots, and see if that helps any.

Excellent. While not perfect, any step forward is of course welcome.

i have developed a grand plan for bringing cookies back in my life, however. i am going to start growing and milling my own wheat. for sugar, i can use molasses [they wash the cane, then boil it and put it directly into jars], or buy the raw cane myself. i can also order whole cocoa beans online, that i can wash and sanitize, then grind myself C: hooray for ingenuity! they say things always taste better when you make them yourself, anyway!

Haha. If you actually do accomplish all of that, you are indeed a small goddess in my book. All of it is quite possible, too.

 

[headbanginghorseman]

thanks, IgnoredOne C: you are very good for my self esteem! tehehe

 

[IgnoredOne]

Thank you, but you give me too much credit. I do nothing but suggest possibilities; it is your will, ingenuity and drive that lets you realize happiness and perhaps, the discovery that many curses are blessings in disguise.

 

[Peter Lorre]

It'd be great to make your own cookies that way, I'd love to do it.

It's a shame I'm so lazy these days, especially in the kitchen

 

[headbanginghorseman]

well it's time to get cooking, man! chop chop!

 

[IgnoredOne]

I have always loved cooking. There is such beauty in seeing what was once simple, raw ingredients come together and become something beautiful.

 

[headbanginghorseman]

and tasty too C:

 

[SophiaGrace]

Lol, silly people.

Look, dude, hbhm. I was born with a birth defect that disallows me from eating anything through my mouth because if I did, it would go directly into my lungs (this is called aspiration).

So I have a feeding tube stoma above my belly button. I eat liquid meals 3x a day, from a can which I receive via prescription. I can't taste this food either.

The same thing 24/7 365 days a year since I was 2 years old.

I don't mind it at all. I don't wish I could eat like other people do.

What I am trying to say is that your situation could be worse.

 

[wewillbebest]

ｆｕｃｋ，　ｗｈａｔ＇ｓ　ｍｙ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｉｓ　ｓｏ　ｌｏｎｅｌｉｎｅｓｓ．　Ｉ　ＷＡＮＡ　ＴＯ　ＦＩＮＤ　ＡＮ　ＵＳＡ　ＧＩＲＬ．　ＣＯＴＡＣＴ　ＭＥ：１１０４３６０９５９＠ｑｑ．ｃｏｍ

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Whay youre going through are what most people go through being around
abusvie poeple. you been abused or had gotten your self into toxic relstionships
such as substance abuse or alcholics...
Depending how long you had been that
invornemt. You might also suffer PTSD.

You cant control people thats lost self control?
.Im guessing you live around
people thats totally ****** up out
of their fucken mind. Theyre self center
self absording..dont give a ****. Manipulative( take advantage of your
kindness) and abusive...mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Theyll hold hostage using lots and lots
of guilt trips.

Google stockham syndrom....
Sounds or feel familar?
The hostatges got mind washed within
days to feel sorry the bank robbers.

If you had been surround by that most
of your life....such as having one of your
care taker abusing drugs or alcohol. Or they suffered from sometype of mental illness...You got conditioned.

K.....can you relate?

---

Google ACOA.....

My father is a fucken alcoholic.
I grew up around that ****.
He mentally. Emotionally abused me.
Plus he bashed my head into the
fucken wall serval times as I child.
Ive gone to school with bruises and
black eyes as a child. He beat so fucken hard sometimes...Id pee in my fucken pants. I lived in constant fear....That man lack major self control. He remains very abusive to me...mentally and emotionally. Today.

---

You know wahts **** up about being
an ACOA.? Its a major bewilderment
to me....

But its one of those things that ACOA do....

I get involve or pick alcholic/ addicts as my partners and relationships to get into..

Why in the hell did you think I sign up on this site to begin with?
I had just gotten out of arealtionship.
she relasped and went pyscho bitch on me..

Guess who and what happened recently??? She fucken went pyscho bitch on me too after her relapsed.

Theres a pattern.....
Thats what your saying?
How in the ****?
Why in the ****?
Do I get myself into this ******** again and again and again...
Im a nice guy.

I hated my father but I ended up marrying and loving people just like him over and over again...
Something deep deep inside of me thats all ****** up and needs to get resolved.

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Theres ACOA support groups , Alanon, Coda.....Poeple that live through crazy dusfunctional abusive ****.

They might be able to help you.

Some people like me...are danage goods. I hate alot of the **** I live through over and over again.
I love her very very much...no matter how much I love her. No matter how many times Ive tired...I cant fucken fix her. My love cant save her...
and it gets me all fucken knotted up
causr she dont give a **** about our daughter either. She dosnt have to love me back..why in the **** cant she just love and care for our daughter..
So get involve with her again ..
The fucen insanity continue cuase I really need to give my daguther peace.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Why is it so important for me to give my duaghter peace...She has major abandontment issues....I too was abandent as a child.....

My duaghter had also been used and abused...Theres plenty of fucken ******** or bad people around her.

The cycle continue in her...
Deep deep emotional pains she needs to revolved ..