I feel no attraction... or at least I think I dont

[Brent Ogden]

Background: I've lived out most of my life in the past, meaning I dwell in it. I've only ever had a "serious relationship" when I was in the 6th grade. So, even though I was just discovering sexuality, I felt something, which I /think/ was attraction. I've tried to emulate it with other relationships, but, nothing. Hell, I've even tried liking guys, but it only turned into a brotherly love (I did this because I'd hate to not know if I did like guys... but, I don't know, didn't feel like it was me.)

I guess what I'm trying to get across is: I see beauty, but have a hard time getting attached, even though I try so dang hard.

 

[Robin]

Well, You might be the person that doesn't really take an interest on what's on the outside of a fellow being. Since i'm a big fan of beauty, and i don't necessarily mean people, i'm not sure how You feel. Your sexuality; would You classify it as less active than the other guys of Your age? Have it always been like this? What made You get aroused when You lost Your virginity? Well... everything i suppose, LoL.

You know, this might as well have to do with what You eat, how You sleep or how You feel inside in general these days, rather than simply not being able to be attracted to something. How did You get that girl in the first place? I actually thought of going completely gay during my last breaths of a five year long depression, or at least something in between (bi-). Since those years are as good as repressed now i can only believe i had those feelings because i was around guys more often than women; i wanted love, no matter what gender.

Are You there too? You might be in the middle of this sexuality-"crisis" or what it might be called (i also had it when i was 17). Perhaps You're simply not that impressed with life as of yet. Intelligence might be more of a turn-on for You than anything else.

 

[Brent Ogden]

I think what it is, is that no one has actually presented themselves to /me/. It's always been that I've always gone to them. In fact, the last one that did come to me, instead of me to her, was the 6th grade thing.

 

[Robin]

Oh, i see. Well then i understand You better. Do You understand that most people, obviously unlike You, believe that their attraction to someone's physical appearence is the guide they should follow to get what they want? To not only turn some heads, as a guy, but to actually make someone of the other sex approach You for.. whatever it was that this girl approached You for, for example, is quite rare and perhaps something we shouldn't wait for. Just being good looking won't do it; every inch of You can mean something different in the eyes of the beholder. Well approaching someone for their inner qualities probably means we'd have to be around that person for some time to even notice it, and since just standing a few feet away from somsone can make it impossible to hear what they're saying that's probably not something that happens too often either.

Hmmm, going a little off topic, couldn't You try and create a profile online somewhere so people could see the real You? Dating website or whatever. Perhaps that's not interesting enough for Ya, though, but i remember when i tried that; it sure worked a hell lot better than it ever would in real life. Waiting for someone to come to You... that does sound like a very, very long wait.

 

[snow]

How old are you Brent? I think that since I turned around 19 I don't have women approaching me any more. Now I'm 22 and it seems women expect the guy to approach all of the time. Especially since it's so much harder to find one that isn't taken.

As far as getting attached, I have a great fear of this as well. Having been hurt so many times I want to be sure the girl is completely attached to me before I am. I dont know if its a good thing or maybe I'm just dried up.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Brent,

Just an FYI: Depression can rob you of ALL sexual desire. Have you ever been diagnosed or taken meds?

Also, you may be a person with just a very low libido. You don't HAVE to conform to society, man! You could live as a monk (literally in a brotherhood, or you could just be celibate).

Hugs,

LG.

 

[lilyelk]

Brent -

Now having read your introduction I would encourage you to just give yourself some real time. Part of you feeling no attraction may come from the fact that it sounds like you were sort of used in your last relationship. It is amazing what the mind starts shutting down when we are under stress and feel abandoned.

 

[Brent Ogden]

Well, I've never tried the online dating situation. I'd like to believe that there would be someone here where I live. I don't know, It's hard to explain. I guess I just haven't explored that option, so it's kind of hard to know for sure why I haven't tried it. But, it's not hard to get to know me, I've just never taken the initiative. I feel like I'm imposing myself when I start conversations.

I'm eighteen, and I live in a college campus area, so it shouldn't be hard to find someone. I'm not sure If I just haven't given myself enough time or what, but I feel like I should be loving someone right now. It's almost like I'm wasting time not making someone feel special.

I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but It does run rampant in both sides of my family. I have been diagnosed with something like, "repressed emotion-itis" or something or the other, but the meds ran out. Neither me, nor my family noticed a difference when I was on them, and I felt the same either way. I researched it and I only had a 10mg, which the thing said wasn't a significant dossage.