I feel no deep emotions

[Peter.EU]

Today my mood is bloody accursed so I feel for making little confession. I would like to hear your feedback, what you think - maybe I am faulty, maybe it's normal, maybe I should leave it be or maybe I should do smt about it.

So, at least for 2 years I have no deeper feelings to anybody. Yes, I feel lonely when I am alone for entire day or so but besides that... I miss nobody and I need nobody. 2 years ago I dated some nice girls... I liked them. But since than I need no more woman. *** is good and I could definetely use that, but besides... It only pesters me. Few months ago I sorta e-dated one girls from arabia. She was smart, nice and everything but I didn't really like her and her presence sorta pestered me. I mean that... I remember to have warm satisfying feeling inside when I am with someone I like. Either a friend, a girl etc. But now I have no such feeling. I like my friends and I enjoy their company but I don't miss them. At all. I moved to India and barely think of them in other respect that some business matter or technical help or so. Hope you know I mean. There is one boy I take care of. I hoped children will help to find human being inside me but it takes no effect also. I don't miss him also. Yes, it is nice to teach him English, math etc., to spent time with him and shape his fersonality but for instance, if I never ever saw him again I don't give a damn.

I feel cold inside. Very very stone cold.

What is good, because feelings never affect my decision making! I feel very reasonable. I do have flaws, lots of them - lazy, comfortable, maybe greedy, uninterested in common joys of life (culture, sightseeing, spending social time whatever).



And also: I don't see any reason to even try to date again. I miss nobody and dating is bunch of trouble if you are average or maybe under average looking person (according to who). I have plans to settle my own family but those plans do not involve woman. (there is enough children without parent and home anyway, just to reach and help one or two...).

what do you think? Am I weird?



sorry for bad engrish

 

[Peter.EU]

no response. I wonder if topic is uninteresting or just totally stupid

 

[user 115627]

Not even one full day has passed since you posted that topic, so there's no need to be alarmed. Don't be pushy. Some people have obviously read your thoughts but they didn't know how to reply in a helpful way. To be honest, I'm still reflecting on it as well...

But I have to ask you: Do you feel bad about your lack of deeper emotions? Does it bother you personally?
Or is it just that it does not seem "normal" by common standards and you're looking for validation of your concerns?

These are the questions you have to ask yourself. Then you should decide whether you can or cannot live in that state of mind.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think that a lot of people here might feel the same way at some point in their lives and maybe don't really know what to do about it so they don't really know what to say.

I have felt like this before but I don't really have a proper solution or anything like that. All I know is that I just get by, by living life. I distracted myself with things I like doing and especially things that make me feel good about myself, like going to the gym, going out with friends I enjoy spending time with and just watching funny funny videos on YouTube. Seriously, that was what I did for several months after I hit depression, after attempting suicide and after feeling like there is no point in life anymore and after I felt nothing. I moped around long enough, so bad that I got sick of myself, it's weird, I don't even know how to explain it. So I got up one day and started doing these things.

So no, don't think you're weird whatsoever. It's a phase that most people go through in life.. I'm not sure if there's anyone who hasn't gone through a similar thing. But you're human, you have feelings and you also feel numbed sometimes.. and we can't control these emotions we feel sometimes, well, it's tough to control them.

Nothing you said was stupid here, nor uninteresting. I think people just don't know really what to say....

 

[9006]

Sometimes it takes a strong connection to someone in order to actually feel anything, I'm somewhat similar. I suppose it's a good thing because like you said it does not effect your decision making, but it also (maybe a little bit selfishly) allows you to carry on with your life without worrying about other people.

It's probably something you'd receive criticism for (Then again, we does anybody NOT receive that ****) but I wouldn't worry about that since it's their own problem for being unable to comprehend that all people aren't the same. Weather it's something you want to change or not is the question.

 

[Peter.EU]

good, thank you all for the answers.

I don't feel ignored, I just wondered if I don't ask too strange question. I never talk about these things in real life, I have no point of reference. Maybe I should work on my insecurity.

Anyway, this or that it is good that I am not so weird. I feel I miss nothing and I feel good about myself. I definitely don't avoid people, I just have no need of deeper compassion with anybody. Tomorrow I am calling one charity organization to volunteer. I do things that are right because I believe that are right but I am not affected by feelings. I am sure some people see weird that I am not looking for girlfriend and even refuse dating offers and maybe question my orientation but that is the only disadvantage of current state. Anyway, it's their fault, they should have introduced me more interesting women.

so, everything is ok than. thanks.

 

[FPL2014]

good, thank you all for the answers.

I don't feel ignored, I just wondered if I don't ask too strange question. I never talk about these things in real life, I have no point of reference. Maybe I should work on my insecurity.

Anyway, this or that it is good that I am not so weird. I feel I miss nothing and I feel good about myself. I definitely don't avoid people, I just have no need of deeper compassion with anybody. Tomorrow I am calling one charity organization to volunteer. I do things that are right because I believe that are right but I am not affected by feelings. I am sure some people see weird that I am not looking for girlfriend and even refuse dating offers and maybe question my orientation but that is the only disadvantage of current state. Anyway, it's their fault, they should have introduced me more interesting women.

so, everything is ok than. thanks.

If you're a normal person, then there's not many a person you'll feel attracted to anyway. Most of us can relate to but a few people (parents, one or two brothers, one or two friends) in reality. All the others simply do not exist for us.

What's happening to you right now is probably that you're understanding how detached you are from the people around you. You don't care for them and they don't care for you. However, in due time you'll learn what it feels like to love and to care for another person. When this happens, you'll know what true feelings really mean.

At your young age, however, why do you bother?

 

[Peter.EU]

in due time you'll learn what it feels like to love and to care for another person. When this happens, you'll know what true feelings really mean.

I hope not. In fact I just wanted to write how good I am. I feel lonely, yes I do but for natural reasons - last 3 days I spent alone in my room working and bit of boring so it's normal to have bad mood. I never have a need for intimacy with woman (besides ***... but I can suppress it). I never feel harmed, I never feel unsure about someone's love, I never miss, I never feel refused or jealous... I just read The Witcher: Sword of Destiny and author describes some drama between woman and two men... how ridiculous. But it's still not perfect, I still feel somewhat weaker and maybe sometimes empty. But I am sure time will fix it utterly. And as I said, I am sure as hell I don't wan't to feel love (ever again). It's horrible feeling. Makes you throw away everything in your life just for a crappy illusion that exists solely in your head. There is one co-worker. She loves me. She knew from the very beginning I have no feeling for her yet she decided to fall in love. What a jerk. Now I think she is half crazy, her work goes to hell and I think so well her personal life. "Feelings" exists only in your head. It is good to have some, but never at the expense of real things, such as whatever you create around yourself - business, art, scientific formula or whatever. I need to wipe out that weird feeling of fragility and occasional solitude and I'll be perfect.

anyway, the biggest problem now in Kashmir is that there is not alcohol to get. One bottle of vodka flushes down for entire week all the fragility and emptiness I refer about. I don't know why, I don't know how but it does. and now I have none. Crap!