I just cant find a solution to this

[eris]

im describing my life

this actually happened

these are things that are happening to me. Feelings I am working though.

That I really dont completely understand

and kind of commenting on the sillieness of trying to LABEL such things

you REALLY just dont get it

I thought this would happen

Just thought maybe a person who also had homosexual inclinations would maybe understand it a little better

 

[downbythebay]

You are very confusing. Thanks for thinking I am ignorant, but seriously, you are certainly dealing in labeling : i was a boy, I was a girl, i was a man, i am a woman, am i a tranny... those are all your words, to most people that would be a label to identify what you are. Don't turn this around on me to make me look like a bigot and an intolerant ass. Try reading the second paragraph of my first post. Obviously, you show no appreciation for my opinion there. Why ask people's opinion and have a poll if you just want reassurance and people to agree with you?

 

[eris]

oh gosh gee willy god.

youre really weird

im sorry I said gay because I like girls

i come here and talk to people for months that I know well and I usually get great advice

go. shh

im done


Please someone else talk to me about this

 

[downbythebay]

Lol, Okay, EVERY YES MAN come on here and reassure eris! Sorry I gave my opinion. None of it was offensive, yet you turned it around on me. nice.

---

PS my second paragraph in my first post was "great advice" yet you go and extract pieces of my opinion to go off on

 

[csmswhs]

i saw you mention the trashheap somewhere in this thread. we've been watching Fraggle Rock the last 2 nights before bed lol.

all i can say is.. consult The Great Trasheap!!!

---

(not minimizing your problem, hope it didn't seem that way, didn't mean it that way, hope you didn't take it wrong, just couldn't hold that back)

 

[eris]

i saw you mention the trashheap somewhere in this thread. we've been watching Fraggle Rock the last 2 nights before bed lol.

all i can say is.. consult The Great Trasheap!!! [/url
(not minimizing your problem, hope it didn't seem that way, didn't mean it that way, hope you didn't take it wrong, just couldn't hold that back)

<3

you have no idea how much sense that means to me. You see I have a facination with trash heaps of all kinds. I miss your posts sometimes

___________________________________________


you know I didnt even realize I did not dress like a girl until I was in highschool ? yeah I am kinda clueless.

I just keep thinking about this stuff more as I get older

every damned day

so, I figured its not going away



I must attack it head on !

---

 

[tehdreamer]

I don't think Eris' problem is trying to find a label that fits. If anything, the label of third gendered was agreed to fit kinda ok earlier on in this thread.

The problem isn't "what nice little word can I put on myself so I can feel better?", it's "how can I live my life without all the confusion and non-understanding of the people around me that I care about?"... at least that's what I'm getting from all of this.

Honestly, people aren't going to understand anything that doesn't fit into a neat little box. And that box also has to fit into their ideas of the world. Your family may never fully understand or accept who you are, but it's your life to live, not theirs. And your hubby loves you, so he'll understand eventually because he wants to. Even if he doesn't like it right now.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You don't look like an intolerant ass to me, nor a bigot.

Now...let's none of us let a matter of differences in opinions, cause the thread to be closed.

 

[eris]

"how can I live my life without all the confusion and non-understanding of the people around me that I care about?".

...

Honestly, people aren't going to understand anything that doesn't fit into a neat little box. And that box also has to fit into their ideas of the world. Your family may never fully understand or accept who you are, but it's your life to live, not theirs. And your hubby loves you, so he'll understand eventually because he wants to. Even if he doesn't like it right now.

Yeah, this really is my main issue. It is about still wanting to please my parents I guess.

and oh my goodness i dont know what would happen if my in laws figure this out

thanks for your words

Im so bothered about this because I am a student of philosophy and it is kind of my job to be introspective And I am so bothered by this because it bothers me so much in ways I have already described over and over again...

I think to a gender confused person the "role" of clothing assignment is kind of important. I have had men tell me they also had a personality change when dressed like a woman.

and the whole poll thing

this is why I did a poll

You can come in here and tell me how you feel. Im ok with that. But if you just have a real opinion and you want to honestly be anonymous about such things use the poll As we all know when we are not watched we are the most open


Im so bored with thinking so much.

 

[Badjedidude]

HERE IS A CALM MOUNTAIN LAKE TO COOL THIS THREAD DOWN

...Did it work?

 

[eris]

yes. it worked. you must be magical or something

 

[futurecatlady]

actually, it's kind of a hot mountain lake. rowr.

/thread-stalking-but-not-responding

 

[eris]

but you have responded

___________________

Hi everyone,

I dont need you to agree with me you guys can tell me your opinion just dont get argumentative and I will be fine Im friendly, really.


I was thinking about this one girl. A famous girl ( I obviously dont know her ) Kim Stoltz

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/soapbox/americas-next-top-model_8638_8.jpg?cache=1232118281

She talked about being "a boy"

You see, when you put it on . when you become physically male something happens to the personality.

but more than that, dressing male (or female) is like a symbol, and the gender role of the clothes is very important and intimidating to a gender confused person

Well, she talked about being a boy for a long time, for years she was a boy

I see her now, though, in dresses and heels ><

I dont know, we obviously have different issues. She is a lesbian.

She talked about becoming "more comfortable" as a female, though, maybe that is wherer the dresses came from.

I dont think that will happen to me

I just need to be more comfortable with this

Please comment if you want to, I understand if you dont get this, just dont be mean ....or take the poll.

I see people are obviously avoiding the poll and I guess this just makes some people uncomfortable

Im sorry about that.

 

[Brother Karl]

Be who you want to be - thats the main thing. It doesnt matter at all to me what sex you want to be or if you want to have any operations or not.

If you really want to have an operation, do it. But I'd think long and hard about such a huge decision.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs eris*

dude that is totally normal,

and don't worry about it,

you might be transgendered and that is more than okay

sometimes people also go through phases with being trans

there are 2 trans girls(born female, identify as man) at GLBAU group here at my college,
there is also a quadgender ( doesn't identify as either gender)

last year there was also a girl who was trans in freshman year, but wasn't the year I met here, although sometimes she mentioned about going back to trans, she had an old drivers liscence that had identified here as male


but man she was super hot

(but she was also dating another trans girl *sad* ;_; )


so it's alright, you're not the only one with those feelings and the feelings will often come and go

but you're going to be alright



*hugs*

 

[eris]

Be who you want to be - thats the main thing. It doesnt matter at all to me what sex you want to be or if you want to have any operations or not.

If you really want to have an operation, do it. But I'd think long and hard about such a huge decision.

thanks I agree that people should get operations if they feel they should. Sometimes people really are born in the wrong bodies

I think I was born in the right body, I kinda like my body it is just not male or female... I really only want a willy part of time time ( even though some of these "times" lasted years) . I have always enjoyed heterosexual sex and I dont think my husband would like it

_____________________________________________________________________________

there is something called Autoandrophilia ... this and other a few other philias are kind of, uh, bothersome, sometimes.

*hugs eris*

dude that is totally normal,

and don't worry about it,

you might be transgendered and that is more than okay

sometimes people also go through phases with being trans

__________________________________________________________

so it's alright, you're not the only one with those feelings and the feelings will often come and go

but you're going to be alright



*hugs*

hugs

Yeah, it sure does come an go, lol.....thats why Im so confused

Ill be ok I just think too much

:club:


My biggest issue, honestly, is that I think about sex too much

 

[PurpleDays]

Hey Eris, I voted in your survey... because, it is SO normal.

You have nothing to worry about, at all. I'm sure it feels rubbish feeling the way you do, but I wanna tell you that you are definately NOT alone.

I mean, I'm a 5'9" gorgeous size 0, long-legged brunette with naturally wavy, shoulder lengthed hair..... (you get the picture, sexy, no?)... TRAPPED IN A SHORT, DOUGHY, RED-HEAD'S BODY!!

We all want things that we could not afford/maintain/comprehend and it's just being able to take the little things you can into your hands and making the most of them.

So what if you like dressing like a man? Hell, I think there's a little part in every girl that would like that - perhaps not her sexual identity, but the ability to wear trainers, boxers, t-shirts, jeans....????! *******. I love getting all dressed up and being glitz and glam and girly (puke), but MAN do I hate high heels! And as already discussed, I am 5'3" and I think I have Napoleon's syndrome (even though appaz he was not ACTUALLY short :S ).

You sound a bit blue, but you're taking the right steps towards it - communication is definately the way forward. I know it's an iffy subject to guage with your husband, but I'm sure he understands. He loves you and has agreed to love every single bit of you, which I am SURE (judging by your super awesome posts and general upbeat nature) he will.

I think everyone on here, and potentially everyone in the world has a little bit of an identity crisis every now and then. And even if your feelings cross over into reality, there is absolutely NO SHAME in that and you're doing it in the best possible generation to do it in!! We certainly won't shun you from society.... no wayyyy.

The ALL community loves you, and every other community should do too.

You just do what makes you feel good. Throw on some tracky bottoms and a baseball cap whenever the hell you want.

I might even join you.

 

[eris]

aww thank you so much *hugs*

I AM blue, and this is only part of it

im pretty much confused by life in general

I love you guys