You know, I feel sorry for you. You are alone and you come on here and act like this. I would't be surprised if you were an alcoholic. You have no friends and no sense of family. You are angry and you jump to attack at even the slightest sense of paranoia.
I remember what that's like, though I don't think I was ever as bad as you (if I'm wrong, people who remember me the first time I was here, please correct me). Letting anger rule your life will get you nowhere except deeper in the hole you're in. I would recommend that you stop burning bridges before you find yourself with no way out.
*And just FYI, this post is sincere.
*That is of course if you aren't just a troll or a 12 year old pretending to be older