I was a Trol

[Siku]

The thing is, "trolling" is not always a bad thing, depending on how it is done.  Everyone has been a troll before, I would imagine.  Nothing wrong with that.  

Even if you were a mean troll at one point in your life, the only thing you can really do is atone for what you did, whether it be with the other person/people or even if it's just with yourself.  

But, there also comes a point where you have to realize you have taken it too far and just knock it the **** off.  Not everyone has what it takes to be an effective troll, whether good or bad.  

As for myself.  Well, I'm sure all the people here who have called me a troll can answer for me.  They seem to know me better than I know myself :club:

another orsum post from cally wally or collywally to her friends
cal really knows how to put you in your place. I really took notice when she used the "f" word. shes real good when it comes to tough talk.
I was going to put collywolly in my top 5 sanest persons list but I think I will save it for "most f'ed up list instead.

Please, I'd love to see you play this off as just another joke that we should 'lighten" up on or we lack the humor to understand.

Does anyone find that funny? I'd love to know who, exactly. Please, speak up.

Didn't know that straight-up mockery and outing someone constitutes as humour. Yeah, I really must not get it and don't know how to laugh. Clearly, you're just trying to be funny again. Absolutely nothing more. Btw, that's sarcasm, incase you lack that since we all seem to 'lack something' when something is not understood but in actuality was seen a lot more than you think. You completely ignored her first half of the reply that in fact defended you and was fair-minded. Why? Because the latter clearly affected you. Quit playing the deflection with humor game please. I see you.

There's too much emotion, misplaced anger, and subjective bias being thrown around all over the place lately and it's only making things more toxic. Which is why certain things shouldn't be done in the first place. I've recently fell off the handle and I'm guilty of the same and I'm very ashamed of myself. I never once said I'm any more sane or righteous but just seeing the damn problem at it's source. Stay cordial and respecting and don't rattle cages for attention and then maybe, just MAYBE, there won't be anymore toxicity and misunderstandings here.

Or do we all truly want all this drama? :/

I just want this recent cluster **** of "if there were more of me this place would be better" crap from all sides to end already. Enough... please. And for the record, to counter any possible projection that will counter my point, that is NOT me. I personally come here to vent like a pathetic moron with my trump walls of text because I hardly speak to anyone irl and I need to filter my insane thoughts, not for clout. I speak up only because I give a **** about this place and the people who browse it, including those without a voice who only lurk here. Those with very real and mentally ill problems just trying to summon up their courage to relate to people here. Just look at how many visitors are invisible here..... Make this a place that is welcoming, not this insensitive and toxic atmopshere.

 

[kaetic]

Sure because anytime someone says something we don't like, they must be trolling the forum. Thanks for proving my point.

Said could. Feel like we are talking past each other here.

Maybe. I'm sorry if I misunderstood.

 

[Sci-Fi]

The thing is, "trolling" is not always a bad thing, depending on how it is done.  Everyone has been a troll before, I would imagine.  Nothing wrong with that.  

Even if you were a mean troll at one point in your life, the only thing you can really do is atone for what you did, whether it be with the other person/people or even if it's just with yourself.  

But, there also comes a point where you have to realize you have taken it too far and just knock it the **** off.  Not everyone has what it takes to be an effective troll, whether good or bad.  

As for myself.  Well, I'm sure all the people here who have called me a troll can answer for me.  They seem to know me better than I know myself :club:

another orsum post from cally wally or collywally to her friends
cal really knows how to put you in your place. I really took notice when she used the "f" word. shes real good when it comes to tough talk.
I was going to put collywolly in my top 5 sanest persons list but I think I will save it for "most f'ed up list instead.

Knock it off humourless, this kind of thing isn't allowed. You are dangerously treading on another ban, which if you continue will be your LAST and FINAL ban.

 

[Hazed]

Maybe. I'm sorry if I misunderstood.

Don't worry about it. Nuance can be difficult to convey online. In any case i didn't mean to imply that you were trolling/a troll.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Have you ever been a Troll?
Why did you do it?
Did you get a kick from it?
Did you seek attention like me?
Were you lonely like me?
Have you grown out of it?

1.) Sort of
2.) I was angry
3.) Not that much
4.) Not really
5.) In a way
6.) Sort of

---

Didn't know that straight-up mockery...constitutes as humour.

Off-topic, but unfortunately, a lot of people DO seem to think humor is straight-up mockery. I think this is why I'm not funny, because I don't have this deep-rooted need to mock others that haven't done anything to me first. And I'm definitely not witty, cause that means coming up with quips, and fast. Both things that don't come naturally to me. Anyway.

I personally come here to vent like a pathetic moron with my trump walls of text because I hardly speak to anyone irl and I need to filter my insane thoughts, not for clout. I speak up only because I give a **** about this place and the people who browse it, including those without a voice who only lurk here. Those with very real and mentally ill problems just trying to summon up their courage to relate to people here. Just look at how many visitors are invisible here..... Make this a place that is welcoming, not this insensitive and toxic atmopshere.

Just wanted to tell you that I don't think there's anything pathetic about venting. That's why I don't understand those who judge others for venting on here, and always thought it was kind of ironic. The people who think it's just "whining" or whatever should go read something else, not like they are forced to read threads they don't like. We've all needed to vent at some time or another, probably more than most people because we got here by things not going well as easily as they seem to for others, and if it keeps you going to be able to get something off your chest, why not.

 

[Just Games]

God I miss homour.

 

[Abstamyous]

I realize this post is old, and perhaps not the most serious.

I saw a post recently on here (by Ska) questioning why people feel the need to be sarcastic and off to people all of the time. It was one of those moments where I paused to reflect, and realize the shoe fit me, at one time or another.

Was I a troll? More like a straight up bully. I wasted a lot of years online, in "battles" with other people, because I simply couldn't own my part in anything. I have been a straight up ****. At one point, I believed being a "savage" and sarcastic person ALL OF THE TIME, made me a strong individual. That's something I have never been; strong. All I have been able to do, is type fast. And show how sad my life is beyond my keyboard. And it had nothing to do with the person on the other side; they were just the target of the day, month or year.

Did I get a kick out of it/ seek attention? Yes. I had no issue connecting with people who were like me. I had my people. But I was toxic in those relationships as well. I didn't bring anything positive to the table, unless they were laughing. Eventually, everyone stops laughing.

Was I lonely? In those moments, no. I was on some kind of high, filling the void at that time. Am I lonely now, due to the process of uncovering those issues? Yes. I don't participate in a lot of conversations these days. If I do, they are very short lived. It's has always been hard for me to connect with people online, let alone without that wall of "strength". I think that being online is probably just another addiction I will work on separating myself from in the end.

Have I grown out of it? They say the best apology is changed behaviour. I'm afraid of appearing ignorant of harm I may have caused people, but I'm not really sure how to make those amends. Perhaps, it would be more harmful to do so? I spend more time trying to see the other side, than trying to react to the other side. That's gotta mean something for my growth.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I realize this post is old, and perhaps not the most serious.

I saw a post recently on here (by Ska) questioning why people feel the need to be sarcastic and off to people all of the time. It was one of those moments where I paused to reflect, and realize the shoe fit me, at one time or another. 

Was I a troll? More like a straight up bully. I wasted a lot of years online, in "battles" with other people, because I simply couldn't own my part in anything. I have been a straight up ****. At one point, I believed being a "savage" and sarcastic person ALL OF THE TIME, made me a strong individual. That's something I have never been; strong. All I have been able to do, is type fast. And show how sad my life is beyond my keyboard.  And it had nothing to do with the person on the other side; they were just the target of the day, month or year.

Did I get a kick out of it/ seek attention? Yes. I had no issue connecting with people who were like me. I had my people. But I was toxic in those relationships as well. I didn't bring anything positive to the table, unless they were laughing. Eventually, everyone stops laughing.

Was I lonely? In those moments, no. I was on some kind of high, filling the void at that time. Am I lonely now, due to the process of uncovering those issues? Yes. I don't participate in a lot of conversations these days. If I do, they are very short lived. It's has always been hard for me to connect with people online, let alone without that wall of "strength". I think that being online is probably just another addiction I will work on separating myself from in the end.

Have I grown out of it? They say the best apology is changed behaviour. I'm afraid of appearing ignorant of harm I may have caused people, but I'm not really sure how to make those amends. Perhaps, it would be more harmful to do so? I spend more time trying to see the other side, than trying to react to the other side. That's gotta mean something for my growth.

I think everyone knows I also had my time (especially here) as a sarcastic bully, angry at the world.  Personally, I think most people go through that stage.  But, there one thing you have overlooked or maybe you're just in denial about. 

You HAVE helped people too.  You have helped me and I've seen you help others.  Maybe you don't want to believe that, but you did.  Don't forget that part.  It's an important part.

 

[Abstamyous]

^ I really do appreciate that. However, I know that I have used that as a justification in the past. It's just time to own some of the ****** parts of who I am or have been, ya know?

 

[TheRealCallie]

^ I really do appreciate that. However, I know that I have used that as a justification in the past. It's just time to own some of the ****** parts of who I am or have been, ya know?

There is no justifying the bad that we have done.  You and I both know that now.  It's not about justifying though, it's about giving acknowledgment to every side of who you were.  Not all of it was bad, not all of it was good.  We are all a mix. 
All we can do is try to be better today than we were yesterday and try not to dwell too much on the past.

 

[Just Games]

^Yeah you really helped me with my battle with the booze,you remember that?You really inspired me to give it up for a really long time. During that time it made me realise the damage I was doing to myself and my family. 

I'd also like to say I missed humourless because he was really nice to me on another thread ...not this one.

I apologise about the way I started  this thread mocking Hazed but for some of us it's all we have in our armoury which I know  is a big failing of mine which I still resort too which I'm sorry about.Also and I know not an excuse but I was brought up in a house with a very frightening father from age 10 to 20 there was like a big cloud over the house where no talking let alone debating was allowed really also the fact that he was having an affair and at 15 my mother spilled it all out to me which was not good when your ****** up anyway but I know why he was like that now because you think alot about these things when they've gone.Your like a sponge when your 15 and I was sucking loads of **** from my father in which I still haven't  completely  got over.

Also on a lighter note I didn't want Callie to know I had returned,because when I left she said'they always  come back⁴" and she was right of course,well in my case anyway so resorted to the pathetic humour but as before a falling of mine.Anyway it's not all about me and I'm sorry if the mockery/pi$$ taking upset anyone.