I was once a bright star

[ladyforsaken]

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You fixate on your exes because people always want what they can't have. If you can't learn to appreciate what is right in front of you instead of obsessing over what has come-and-gone, you will keep adding things (people) to the gone-bye-bye category. Careful. Learn humility, learn appreciation, learn acceptance, learn to live in the moment.

And also learn to let go of what's gone.. and move on.

It's not fair to this current girlfriend of yours. Try to think more about your girlfriend. Find out things about her that you haven't and make little simple gestures to let her know she's appreciated. I'm sure she does the same to you? If not, maybe that's why you keep thinking about your ex. *shrugs*

 

[KingsAgain]

Update: I've more than bounced back

Amazing what a year and a half can do. I recently found a new high-paying job. Best job of my life I've ever had. It's extremely rewarding. I've also been taking some part-time grad-level courses to work towards another degree. I'm still with the same girl I started dating late in 2012. We have our arguments but we're happy together. I hardly touch alcohol anymore. Maybe 3-6 glasses of wine per month. Overall, life is grand.

I still have one lingering problem. My first ex that I dated for five years. I still think of her. A lot. Why? Every place I go, I have a fresh memory of us together. I haven't talked to her in over a year and a half. I've sent her two casual Facebook messages several months apart, the last in December. She ignored both. In a sense, I'm happy she's happy with another guy... In another, it hurts to know I'm as good as dead to her. Just wish I could shake those memories away.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Good to see that you've cut out the drunk driving. When everything seems gloomy, it's easy to say who cares if I do this and that bad thing, who cares if I start smoking again, who cares if I stop working out, who cares if I drive drunk...and then it only adds to the stack of problems crushing your will to go on. I know all about that.

PS - how do you manage to land such well-paying jobs? How do you make yourself stand out? That's one thing I struggle with greatly - trying to land a job that will pay me enough to have a little dignity.

 

[KingsAgain]

In my personal experience, these are the most important things (from most to least) in landing and keeping a good job:

1-Connections (family, friends, classmates, other professional relationships you've previously established, etc)
2-Image (confidence, ability to communicate in an intellectual manner, how you dress, how you walk)
Those two are pretty much all you need. But we could add:
3-Education
4-Experience

 

[TheSkaFish]

In my personal experience, these are the most important things (from most to least) in landing and keeping a good job:

1-Connections (family, friends, classmates, other professional relationships you've previously established, etc)
2-Image (confidence, ability to communicate in an intellectual manner, how you dress, how you walk)
Those two are pretty much all you need. But we could add:
3-Education
4-Experience

Well, I have #3, and I could certainly have #2. I think I could carry myself well in an interview given enough time to prepare. Speaking to people doesn't really bother me any more. But I'm hurting on #1 and #4, so that probably explains it. I'm currently taking free courses, which will hopefully brush up my skills and help explain the gap on my resume. Thanks again for the tips, we'll see what I can do.